Anger management Classes As Violence Prevention

By George Anderson

Most major businesses and governmental organizations have Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) in place to provide assessment and referral, brief counseling or Critical Incidence Debriefing. Colleges and Universities have student counseling and Judicial Affairs for disruptive students. Educators as well as the community must come to terms with the reality of the ongoing problems of person-directed violence. In addition to the very real physical threat posed by such rampant violence, education and workplace civility is threatened. When fear is paramount in their minds, students cannot learn and teachers cannot teach. Many administrators, teachers, and parents feel a sense of hopelessness about the role of schools in combating violence, in which the emphasis has historically been on social control rather than improving the school climate. This approach has been unsuccessful in the workplace as well as schools despite increasing security such as metal detectors, permanent school and work place security officers, and zero tolerance. All of these services may work well in dealing with trauma but is limited in its usefulness for preventing conflict and violence which may impact job and/or academic performance. . Learning how to deal with aggression and hostility in nonviolent ways before violence becomes a stable personality trait is absolutely critical.

Crises counseling and/or Critical Incidenct Debriefing are specifically designed to deal with situations like accidents, violence, murder, death, robberies, bomb threats or suicide. Equally as important as dealing with workplace or school violence are anger management prevention programs which are less costly and far more effective in reducing the incidences of workplace conflicts, violence, accidents and sick day usage. Anger management is the most effective violence prevention intervention currently available.

In both the Virginia Tech Tragedy and the Murder Suicide at the Johnson Space Center in recent days demonstrate the need for proactive rather than reactive measures to prevent person-directed violence in the work or school environment.

Since anger is a secondary emotion which is generally preceded by stress, anxiety, depression or some other perceived threat, voluntary or mandated classes can be implemented to deal with stress related tension at work or on campus. In contrast to mental health interventions such as counseling, psychotherapy or hospitalization, anger management can be mandated based on aggressive behavior, intimidation or threats. One of the most successful such programs is currently being used by the United States Postal Service. For many years, “going postal” was used to describe the frequent violent incidents which occurred among postal workers.

Several years ago, the postal service introduced a ten session anger management course offered on-site, on the clock at no cost to the employee. When first introduced as a pilot, the program resulted in a reduction of sick day usage, dramatic decrease in workplace conflict, increase in morale, increase in production, decrease in accidents and a 226% increase in voluntary referrals to the Employee Assistance Program. In a population of 16,000 employees, the Postal Service saved 1.5 million dollars during the one year pilot program.

Effective April 1, 2007, all Hospitals in the United States were required establish anger management policies for “disruptive physicians". This will likely have a tremendous impact on the improvement of patient care as well as staff retention. Anger management/executive coaching is the fastest growing new area of specialization in human services worldwide and needs to be considered when violence prevention is the goal.

www.andersonservices.com
aaamp.org
anger-managment-resources.org
www.daybreakservices.com
http://angerarchive.blogspot.com

When it is a fact, it is not a problem

By Susan Dunn

Emotional Intelligence is about reading reality correctly, amidst the emotional reactions pressing on your cognitive intellect.

I love this quote:

"If a problem has no solution, it may not be a problem, but a fact - not to be solved, but to be coped with over time." - Shimon Peres, Polish-born Israeli Politician

I like it so much because, with even normal intellect, solving a problem is easy. Dealing with a fact you don't like, however, is not, and requires a great deal of emotional intelligence.

Here are sme FACTS I've helped clients learn to cope with over time:
--An adult daughter who is damaged, vindictive and hysterical.
--A boyfriend who is, and always will be, a "stringer".
--A boss who has very low emotional intelligence and is a "difficult person."
--A colleague who is left-brained (or right-brained) and incapable of whole-brain thinking.
--Someone who thinks the client him/herself is a problem to be fixed.
--A controlling husband.
--An abrasive sister who likes to triangulate with the mother against the client.

With a FACT there are three (3) ways to cope:

+Change the situation;
+Change your attitude; or
+Leave
The first two (2) pertain to IQ. The last one pertains to EQ.

Learn to know the difference!

Anger Management and Marriage Part 3

By David Peairs

Last time we talked about how people typically deal with anger towards their husband or wife.

So now what are some Biblical ways to deal with anger in marriage? Here are some brief ways to begin.


Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV)

1) Admit to yourself and God that you are angry. There’s no reason for denying it. Plus, as you get it out in the open, you’ll be better prepared to deal with it.

2) Don’t yield to your feelings. If you think you may say or do something that you’ll regret, walk away from the situation until you have control over your emotions. Take a deep breath to bring your physical reactions to anger under control. Realize that YOU are totally responsible for your own actions.

3) Whether the wrong committed against you was real or perceived, intentional or accidental, bring the offense to God and forgive your spouse. Forgiveness is not for the other person, it’s for you. As you get in the habit of actually forgiving your spouse, your anger will lead you into sin less often.

4) Don’t give the devil a foothold by dwelling on the offense. If you’ve forgiven your husband or wife, quit replaying the situation over in your mind. Otherwise, not only will you cause those angry feelings to come back, but you will give the devil the opportunity to add fuel to the fire by telling you how evil your spouse is. This will only serve to send you back to square one, negating any progress you’ve made.

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV)

Now you have some information to recognize how you may be unhealthily dealing with your anger and some recommendations to begin to deal with your anger in a healthy way.

If you’ve let your anger lead you into sin in the past, ask God to forgive you and let it go. You can’t control what you’ve done in the past, but you can control what you do now and in the future. Start preparing now for the next time you get angry, because the time will come again when you’ll need to deal with it. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you control yourself and diffuse the anger without sinning.

And remember Luke 1:37 “For nothing is impossible with God.”

www.daybreakservices.com

www.daybreakservices.com/blog

Anger Matures to Cancer, then Death

By Matuba & Murphy

I have never gone for any anger management classes or anything related to that. I have been angry for the past few days and that should qualify me to be the expert in my own right to comment on anger.

Unattended anger eventually becomes cancerous. It develops into hatred. That - alone, alters one's personality to a certain degree. It is rather difficult to be happy in another part of your life and the other is just full of resentment. Anger management is not important but it is the only thing that will make all of our lives easier. I can testify to that.

My doctor says Cancer is a class of diseases or disorders characterised by uncontrolled division of cells and the ability of these cells to invade other tissues, either by direct growth into adjacent tissue through invasion or by implantation into distant sites by metastasis.

Just like anger Cancer may affect people at all ages, but risk tends to increase with age. Anger has not yet been proven to be one of the leading causes of death. But I know for a fact that most suicide cases in and outside this country were catalysed by anger. The latest trend on wives hiring hit men for their husbands could be all because of anger if not the love for money!

The unrest in Mogadishu, Sudan and in the Middle East is most definalety because people are angry. The Genocide in Rwanda was due to anger-turned-hatred.

The anger in me has also caused some genocide inside me. It killed so many things that I felt so passionate about. I said killed because I know that those are the things that will never ever come to life. I am treating my Cancer - but I'm afraid it has already reached Stage Four. I am terminally angry and I suppose in this modern world - we have therapy and medication to rely on when we are terminally ill.

What made me angry? I'm known to many as a person who doesn't share problems. That's not about to change. People, generally speaking, are heartless and cruel and tend to take people's misfortunes and use them as ammunition against them! I can't even share with my better half because he is already the casualty of my anger. At least he'll live. How I am ever going to survive - remains to be seen!

Danger Signals at Work, and How to Handle Them

By EILENE ZIMMERMAN

Q. How real is the threat of violence on the job, especially from co-workers?

Should you be worried that your workplace isn’t safe enough?


A. Recent fatal shootings at an accounting firm in suburban Detroit, a marketing company in Philadelphia and a shopping mall in Salt Lake City serve as reminders that the workplace can be dangerous.


Kevin Zwetsch, a labor and employment lawyer in Tampa, Fla., says that in the last 18 months he has handled half a dozen workplace violence cases, more than he has in the previous five years combined.

Serious and violent threats can be a major concern in these kinds of cases, but other types of aggression are often a precursor to violence, said Mr. Zwetsch, who works for the law firm Fowler White Boggs Banker. These may be anything from staring to dirty looks to verbal threats to stalking.

A significant amount of violence occurs in retail establishments, but aggressive or violent behavior can also take place in corporate settings, especially during downsizings and layoffs. Depending on how a company handles the delicate task of termination, former employees can wind up bitter about their separation, and those who remain on the job can become depressed and anxious.

Problems of domestic violence — usually involving spouses or significant others who are thought to be cheating — can also spill over into the workplace, Mr. Zwetsch said.

Confrontations between employees have been on the rise over the last 10 years, according to Timothy A. Dimoff, founder of SACS Consulting, a human resources consulting firm in Akron, Ohio, that specializes in workplace security. He said that these included “low level” confrontations like yelling, threats and stealing; physical confrontations involving pushing, shoving, spitting or fighting; and retaliation, which can be anything from scratching the paint on a supervisor’s car to returning to the workplace with a gun.

Q. What indicates that a colleague might become violent?
A. The most common red flag is unusual behavior. Examples may include an outgoing colleague who suddenly becomes withdrawn and angry, or a normally quiet, easygoing worker who is now outspoken and overexcited. Personal trauma — a financial loss or a death in the family — can also push someone to the edge, as can substance abuse.
Employees often recall these kinds of signals only after violence has occurred. “They will describe the co-worker in terms like ‘ticking time bomb,’ ” even though they did nothing about it, said Jerald Jellison, a professor of social psychology at the University of Southern California who specializes in interpersonal relations.
Q. Should you try to head off a problem by confronting a co-worker directly?
A. If you have been on friendly terms with the worker, you might try talking as a friend and seeing if he or she is willing to open up. Sometimes just saying, “Hey, you seem down. Is everything O.K.?” may be enough to help someone start talking, said Robert Siciliano, a personal security expert in Boston who conducts corporate seminars on predicting and preventing workplace violence.

Treat your co-worker with respect and dignity, said Scott R. Gane, vice president of AlliedBarton, a security services firm in King of Prussia, Pa., and a teacher of workplace violence-prevention seminars. But if you feel uncomfortable with the answers you receive — for instance, if weapons are mentioned or if the person becomes angry or extremely withdrawn — it is time to report your concerns to management.

Q. How should your manager or supervisor handle the report?
A. Above all, he or she should never mention your name. A manager should approach the troubled employee as an ally and schedule a meeting to discuss problems and concerns.

“It should be a comfortable conversation that allows the employee to open up; if they get defensive, then management can address it head-on,” said Carly Drum, managing director of Drum Associates, an executive recruitment and coaching firm in Manhattan. “Most problems can be resolved with a meeting like this. But if management waits until the employee starts behaving aggressively or obsessively, it’s usually too late.”

Q. Will it be seen as bad form to report negative or worrisome feelings about a co-worker to your boss?

A. You do have the right to act on reasonable belief. If you feel threatened — even with no threat made — you are within your rights to report that feeling to your employer. You are more likely to be taken seriously, however, if you offer more than one instance as evidence.

“One thing alone may not be enough,” Mr. Siciliano said, “but if you see three or more red-flag behaviors, you should definitely bring it to the attention of a manager or human resources.”


Q. What should your employer be doing to keep you safe?
A. The company’s procedure for responding should be both written and orally communicated to employees, and should give instructions on how to report potentially violent co-workers.

The policy should include zero tolerance for threatening or violent behavior, should bar the presence of weapons and require immediate reporting of incidents, said Jennifer Berman, a lawyer and human resources consultant at CBIZ, a business consulting firm in Cleveland.

“That written policy should be communicated to everyone in the company,” she said, “and backed up with training for managers in how to handle potentially dangerous situations.”

Submitted by Shannon Munford
Daybreak Counseling Service

http://www.daybreakservices.com

http://www.daybreakservices.com/blog

Anger Management in Marriage Part Two

By David Peairs
In the first post, I talked about how everyone eventually gets angry at their spouse, whether it’s over something large or small.

This time we’ll talk about how people typically deal with their anger.

First off, know that the anger itself is not a sin…it’s what you do with it and how you respond to it that can potentially be classified as sin.


I’m not going to overcomplicate this post. Generally, there are two ways that people deal with anger.

Many people internalize their feelings of anger. They pretend that nothing is wrong, while pushing any anger that comes back inside. But in trying to avoid dealing with it, unforgiveness and bitterness take root, gradually poisoning their marriage. Turning it inward doesn’t deal with the anger; instead it’s allowed to build up over time. Eventually it results in a blowup or in slowly killing the relationship.

Others externalize it. They turn their anger outward, towards their spouse, kids, or anyone else who gets in their line of fire. They let their feelings lead them to hurt others, either verbally or physically. Many of these people profess that they just “couldn’t control themselves.” This is a person that’s controlled by their emotions, instead of being in control of their emotions. These people will continue to physically or verbally abuse their spouses or kids as long as they can get away with it.

Now, take that same “out of control” person and put them up next to a 300 pound linebacker. Do you think they would control themselves enough to keep from slapping that linebacker around? Oh yeah, because they know they couldn’t get away with that…not without some pretty hefty consequences.

We should never let our feelings of anger cause us to get “out of control.”

Do you fall into one of these categories? Do you internalize or externalize your anger?

Next time I’ll give you some recommendations on Biblically dealing with your anger in your marriage.

Anger Mangement and Marriage- Part One

By David Peairs

At some point, everyone gets angry at their spouse. It could be over something minor like leaving the cap off of the toothpaste, something on a larger scale like their disrespecting you in front of other people, or something much worse.

In marriage, the potential for anger is greater than in other relationships just by the nature of being in such close proximity to someone so often. Your husband or wife will eventually do something that gets on your nerves.

This truth led me to write this brief 3 part series on dealing with anger in marriage. I hope that it will give you something to think about and be of some help. And as always, please feel free to comment with your thoughts on the subject.

In the next post of this series I’ll talk about how people typically deal with anger. Then in the last post I give some recommendations on how to Biblically deal with your anger.

So between now and the next post, begin thinking about how you are presently dealing with any anger towards your spouse, and if it contributes to a healthy or unhealthy marriage.


www.daybreakservices.com

www.daybreakservices.com/blog