In many small businesses as well as mental health/specialty practices, the key person tends to be narrowly focused on one or two clinical practice areas. Few solo practitioners are business savvy and some are not comfortable in marketing in his or her area of specialization. This is especially true in the, emerging niche market of anger management/executive coaching primarily because of the newness of this area of specialization.
This places anger management small business providers at a distinct disadvantage in pursuing contracts with professional sports as well as business and industry to provide workplace anger management programs, consultation and coaching.
An Exciting New Promising Trend
Recently, Anderson & Anderson embarked on a new venture designed to partner with providers whose backgrounds, interests and contacts have the potential of expanding contracting opportunities in a wide range of areas out of reach to most solo practitioners.
Colbert Williams, the CEO of Executive Life Coaching of Lancaster, Ca. teamed up with Anderson & Anderson to pursue a contract with the National Football League. The two organizations are now preparing a proposal for a contract with Municipal Transportation Agencies throughout California .
Tom Wentz and Jim Merritt are principals of Community Care located in Palm Springs , California . Tom is a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and an expert in substance abuse intervention and a Certified Anger Management Facilitator in the Anderson & Anderson Curriculum. Jim Merritt is a retired Major League Baseball Pitcher who played with the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Minnesota Twins Jim is also a substance abuse counselor as well as a Certified Anderson & Anderson Anger Management Facilitator.
Community Care and Anderson & Anderson are actively working to secure contracts with all of the Major League Baseball Teams for anger management, executive coaching and organizational training.
While we are not prepared to announce any contracts from these efforts at this time, we can report that our preliminary proposals are paying off and we hope to announce specific contracts relative the above in the very near future.
If you are interested in Partnering with Anderson & Anderson, contact George Anderson at 310-207-3591.
George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF, CEAP
www.andersonservices.com
www.anger-management-resource.org
www.aaamp.org
www.angertrends.blogspot.com
Friday, July 20, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
A Biblical View of verbal abuse
A Biblical Perspective of Verbal Abuse
By Alicia
The Bible clearly warns us about the dangers of an angry man. Proverbs 22:24 says, "Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man." And Proverbs 29:22 says, "An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression."
It is not God's will for you (or your friend) to be in a verbally abusive relationship. Those angry and critical words will destroy your confidence and self-esteem. Being submissive in a marriage relationship (Ephesians 5:22) does not mean allowing yourself to be verbally beaten by your partner. 1 Peter 3:1 does teach that wives, by being submissive to their husbands, may win them to Christ by their behavior. But it does not teach that they must allow themselves to be verbally or physically abused.
Here are some key biblical principles. First, know that God loves you. The Bible teaches, "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)
Second, deal with your feelings of guilt. You may be feeling that the problems in your marriage are your fault. "If only I would do better, he wouldn't be so angry with me." The Bible teaches in Psalm 51:6 that "Surely You desire truth in the inner parts; You teach me wisdom in the inmost place." Even though you may have feelings of guilt, you may not be the guilty party. I would recommend you read my article on the subject of false guilt.{5}
A related issue is shame. You may feel that something is wrong with you. You may feel that you are a bad person. Psalms 139:14 says, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Finally, you should realize that you can be free from being a victim and agree with God that you can be free. 2 Corinthians 3:17 says, "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."
A key element in this area of verbal abuse will no doubt be confrontation of the abuser. It's important for you to realize that confrontation is a biblical principle. Jesus taught about this in Matthew 18:15-20. I would recommend that you seek help from a pastor or counselor. But I would also recommend that you gather godly men and women together who can lovingly confront the person who is verbally abusing you. Their goal should be to break through his denial and lovingly restore him with a spirit of gentleness (Galatians 6:1).
Verbal abuse is a difficult emotional problem, but there is hope if the abuser is willing to confront his sin and get help.
www.daybreakservices.com
http://angerarchive.blogspot.com
By Alicia
The Bible clearly warns us about the dangers of an angry man. Proverbs 22:24 says, "Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man." And Proverbs 29:22 says, "An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression."
It is not God's will for you (or your friend) to be in a verbally abusive relationship. Those angry and critical words will destroy your confidence and self-esteem. Being submissive in a marriage relationship (Ephesians 5:22) does not mean allowing yourself to be verbally beaten by your partner. 1 Peter 3:1 does teach that wives, by being submissive to their husbands, may win them to Christ by their behavior. But it does not teach that they must allow themselves to be verbally or physically abused.
Here are some key biblical principles. First, know that God loves you. The Bible teaches, "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)
Second, deal with your feelings of guilt. You may be feeling that the problems in your marriage are your fault. "If only I would do better, he wouldn't be so angry with me." The Bible teaches in Psalm 51:6 that "Surely You desire truth in the inner parts; You teach me wisdom in the inmost place." Even though you may have feelings of guilt, you may not be the guilty party. I would recommend you read my article on the subject of false guilt.{5}
A related issue is shame. You may feel that something is wrong with you. You may feel that you are a bad person. Psalms 139:14 says, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Finally, you should realize that you can be free from being a victim and agree with God that you can be free. 2 Corinthians 3:17 says, "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."
A key element in this area of verbal abuse will no doubt be confrontation of the abuser. It's important for you to realize that confrontation is a biblical principle. Jesus taught about this in Matthew 18:15-20. I would recommend that you seek help from a pastor or counselor. But I would also recommend that you gather godly men and women together who can lovingly confront the person who is verbally abusing you. Their goal should be to break through his denial and lovingly restore him with a spirit of gentleness (Galatians 6:1).
Verbal abuse is a difficult emotional problem, but there is hope if the abuser is willing to confront his sin and get help.
www.daybreakservices.com
http://angerarchive.blogspot.com
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Getting a grip through Anger Management
By Jodi Hawkins, Southern Health Contributor
Will Rogers once said, "People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing." Haven't we all been there at some point? It's human nature to make mistakes and who would be truly living without making their share?
But for many, living with excessive anger is one mistake that repeats itself constantly whether it's justified or not. If that anger isn't managed properly it can lead to declining health, the ending of relationships, and even legal disasters.
Fortunately, those who see red a little too often, can clear up their fuming outlook through anger management. It can literally calm that inner storm and help people live more peacefully in spite of circumstances, beliefs, or learned behaviors.
Lucas Parrish of Marion understands the importance of anger management first hand. With the help of the Franklin-Williamson Human Services Family Violence Intervention Program (FVIP), he's made some great strides in keeping his anger in check.
Parrish, 24, completed the FVIP last year after being court-ordered to attend. Though he didn't really want to be involved in the 26-week program at first, his view of the experience changed as time passed.
"In the beginning, I felt like I was jumping through hoops just to get it over with," Parrish says. "Then, as I kept going, I actually started taking things from it and learning. I learned how to deal with certain situations that angered or upset me. It taught me how to walk away."
He admits that his anger stemmed mainly from having a problem with authority figures. "I tend to stand firm. I'll stand my ground whether I'm wrong or right. Most of the time, I was wrong. But, to me, I was always right no matter what."
Parish says there are often misconceptions about why people are forced into anger management. "Everybody always thinks you beat up your girlfriend or something like that. But not everybody's in there for that reason. It's a lot of different things."
Parrish recalls seeing other people come to one or two sessions and never returning, even though they were also required to complete the program. But by staying in it for the long haul, he's found that talking things out in the group sessions really helps.
"I had a counselor once who called it 'collecting stamps.' If you collect stamps and keep putting them in a bag, eventually the bag gets full and bursts open," Parrish says. "That's the way I always was. I would bottle everything up and then finally blow up. Now I just talk about it."
How angry is too angry?
Since anger is a natural emotion, some may wonder how to decide if they even need anger management. "It's hard to differentiate how much anger is going to be problematic and how much is okay," says Beth Morrison, adult counseling services therapist from Southern Illinois Regional Social Services (SIRSS) in Carbondale.
It all boils down to whether or not the anger gets in the way of their everyday lives, Morrison says. For example, has it impacted their jobs or caused problems in their relationships? If so, then it may be time to seek help.
Joyce A. Griffin, PhD, LCPC, NCC, has taught anger management classes at Rend Lake College in Ina. Griffin, who also provides counseling though her private practice in West Frankfort, says it's not always a particular trigger that causes people to easily lose their tempers, but possibly an impulse control problem.
There are certain things to look for when assessing someone's anger issues. "You want to know if this is a life circumstance that they're going through like the breakup of a marriage, the infidelity of a mate, or if there's a clinically significant diagnosis related to it, such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or Bi-polar disorder," Griffin says.
Anger induced health problems
Research has linked chronic (long-term) anger to health issues such as high blood pressure, headaches, skin disorders and digestive problems. Anger can also be associated with problems like crime, emotional and physical abuse, and other violent behavior.
"Doctors have reported that one of the highest risk factors for heart disease is having a chronic, ongoing anger or irritability type of syndrome where the person is mad about everything almost all of the time," says Larry Knopp, clinical therapist from Jefferson County Comprehensive Services in Mt. Vernon. "That leads to a lot of adrenaline in your system."
In fact, numerous studies suggest that it's those same fluctuations of adrenaline that lead to most anger-induced health problems.
Self harmers
Research indicates that many teenagers who begin to feel extreme anger will turn to self harm as a way to relieve tension. There are some common things that self harmers do, such as chewing on the insides of their mouths, burning themselves with cigarettes, and especially, cutting themselves.
While many people assume that self harmers are actually trying to commit suicide, that's not necessarily true. "Self harming is not a suicide gesture," says Mike Rohling, youth & family intervention manager at SIRSS. "It's really an inadequate coping mechanism."
Rohling notes that many of the kids he counsels for anger issues tend to take a lot of risks, which can put them into even more dangerous physical situations.
Types of treatment
Anger management is conducted in sessions for individuals and/or groups. Many participants will experience both throughout the course of their treatment.
"I think group actually works quite well," Knopp says. "That's what the members tell me too, because they can hear the stories of other people and what they've gone through. In the group, they're also encouraged to help each other with problem solving."
Most anger management programs will initially assess each participant to determine the magnitude and root cause of his or her anger. That's especially important when unmanaged anger has led one to become physically aggressive.
April Scales is the co-facilitator of the Alternatives to Violence (ATV) Program, designed for male perpetrators who have had an encounter of domestic violence against an intimate partner and have been referred to the program either by a court system, through orders of protection, or any other social service agency.
"You have to break down your understanding of where the abuse was derived from," Scales says. She also looks for specific things during her assessments. Was it something that they witnessed as children? Was it something that they felt was necessary to keep their partners obedient? What was the purpose of the abuse? Because abuse is usually a way of getting an immediate response, she says.
The ATV program is held in Marion and Harrisburg. Putting emphasis on the abuser's accountability and responsibility, it prohibits group members from blaming the victims of their abusive episodes.
Members are charged a sliding scale fee to attend the 26-week program. However, once they've completed the course they are allowed and encouraged to return as often as they feel is necessary, free of charge. This "maintenance" practice includes group or individual counseling sessions much like the original program.
Support is everyone's business
With so many damaging effects of unmanaged anger it should be easy to see why having strong support systems available is so important, especially to younger generations. Yet, many of the people in favor of supporting this cause aren't always willing or able to take action.
"As much as our society and our government say 'kids are our future,' I really don't think we back that up," notes Megan Devenport, youth and family counselor at SIRSS.
In a world of increasing deficits and decreasing state and federal funding, it's far from easy to accommodate the needs of programs such as these. However, those needs continue to grow whether help comes or not.
That's why Rohling hopes that people will contact their legislators and remind them how much this affects everyone. He explains that not helping kids with such severe problems could cause them to end up unemployable.
"These are people that are going to suck up tax dollars," he says. "If we take tax users and turn them into tax payers, it's worth the money."
Tips to control your temper
When your anger has a negative impact on your relationships, it may be time to find a better way of expressing it. The Mayo Clinic offers the following advice to get your anger under control:
• Take a "time out." Count to 10 before reacting or leave the situation altogether.
• Do something physically exerting. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. Go for a walk or a run, swim, lift weights or shoot baskets, for example.
• Find ways to calm and soothe yourself. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as "take it easy." You can also listen to music, paint, write in your journal or do yoga.
• Express your anger as soon as possible so that you aren't left stewing. If you can't express your anger in a controlled manner to the person who angered you, try talking to a family member, friend, counselor or another trusted person.
• Think carefully before you say anything so that you don't end up saying something you'll regret.
• Work with the person who angered you to identify solutions to the situation.
• Use "I" statements when describing the problem to avoid criticizing or placing blame. For instance, say "I'm upset you didn't help with the housework this evening," instead of, "You should have helped with the housework." To do otherwise will likely upset the other person and escalate tensions.
• Don't hold a grudge. Forgive the other person. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want.
• Use humor to defuse your anger, such as imagining yourself or the other person in silly situations. Don't use sarcasm, though - it's just another form of unhealthy expression.
• Keep an anger log to identify the kinds of situations that set you off and to monitor your reactions.
You can practice many of these strategies on your own. But if your anger seems out of control, is hurting your relationships or has escalated into violence, you may benefit from seeing a psychotherapist or an anger management professional. Role playing in controlled situations, such as anger management classes, can help you practice your techniques.
Excerpt of success
Learning to manage anger that was once out of control is certainly impressive. Nothing demonstrates that kind of success better than the words and actions of those who continue to apply what they learn through anger management.
In a program release statement excerpt written by a prior Alternatives to Violence (ATV) participant, co-facilitator, April Scales reads, "One very important thing I have learned is to recognize the warning signs of my anger building towards a potentially violent episode."
"By being able to identify these things, I'm better able to deal with conflict and react in a calm, non-violent way. I'm able to prepare myself ahead of time for high stress situations and avoid any potential conflict."
"Another important thing I've learned is that control is an unhealthy behavior. I know I cannot and should not control another person. Control creates stress, which leads to conflict and, in turn, can end in violence. Not trying to control someone else or allowing myself to be controlled makes for a much happier, healthier relationship."
www.daybreakservices.com
Will Rogers once said, "People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing." Haven't we all been there at some point? It's human nature to make mistakes and who would be truly living without making their share?
But for many, living with excessive anger is one mistake that repeats itself constantly whether it's justified or not. If that anger isn't managed properly it can lead to declining health, the ending of relationships, and even legal disasters.
Fortunately, those who see red a little too often, can clear up their fuming outlook through anger management. It can literally calm that inner storm and help people live more peacefully in spite of circumstances, beliefs, or learned behaviors.
Lucas Parrish of Marion understands the importance of anger management first hand. With the help of the Franklin-Williamson Human Services Family Violence Intervention Program (FVIP), he's made some great strides in keeping his anger in check.
Parrish, 24, completed the FVIP last year after being court-ordered to attend. Though he didn't really want to be involved in the 26-week program at first, his view of the experience changed as time passed.
"In the beginning, I felt like I was jumping through hoops just to get it over with," Parrish says. "Then, as I kept going, I actually started taking things from it and learning. I learned how to deal with certain situations that angered or upset me. It taught me how to walk away."
He admits that his anger stemmed mainly from having a problem with authority figures. "I tend to stand firm. I'll stand my ground whether I'm wrong or right. Most of the time, I was wrong. But, to me, I was always right no matter what."
Parish says there are often misconceptions about why people are forced into anger management. "Everybody always thinks you beat up your girlfriend or something like that. But not everybody's in there for that reason. It's a lot of different things."
Parrish recalls seeing other people come to one or two sessions and never returning, even though they were also required to complete the program. But by staying in it for the long haul, he's found that talking things out in the group sessions really helps.
"I had a counselor once who called it 'collecting stamps.' If you collect stamps and keep putting them in a bag, eventually the bag gets full and bursts open," Parrish says. "That's the way I always was. I would bottle everything up and then finally blow up. Now I just talk about it."
How angry is too angry?
Since anger is a natural emotion, some may wonder how to decide if they even need anger management. "It's hard to differentiate how much anger is going to be problematic and how much is okay," says Beth Morrison, adult counseling services therapist from Southern Illinois Regional Social Services (SIRSS) in Carbondale.
It all boils down to whether or not the anger gets in the way of their everyday lives, Morrison says. For example, has it impacted their jobs or caused problems in their relationships? If so, then it may be time to seek help.
Joyce A. Griffin, PhD, LCPC, NCC, has taught anger management classes at Rend Lake College in Ina. Griffin, who also provides counseling though her private practice in West Frankfort, says it's not always a particular trigger that causes people to easily lose their tempers, but possibly an impulse control problem.
There are certain things to look for when assessing someone's anger issues. "You want to know if this is a life circumstance that they're going through like the breakup of a marriage, the infidelity of a mate, or if there's a clinically significant diagnosis related to it, such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or Bi-polar disorder," Griffin says.
Anger induced health problems
Research has linked chronic (long-term) anger to health issues such as high blood pressure, headaches, skin disorders and digestive problems. Anger can also be associated with problems like crime, emotional and physical abuse, and other violent behavior.
"Doctors have reported that one of the highest risk factors for heart disease is having a chronic, ongoing anger or irritability type of syndrome where the person is mad about everything almost all of the time," says Larry Knopp, clinical therapist from Jefferson County Comprehensive Services in Mt. Vernon. "That leads to a lot of adrenaline in your system."
In fact, numerous studies suggest that it's those same fluctuations of adrenaline that lead to most anger-induced health problems.
Self harmers
Research indicates that many teenagers who begin to feel extreme anger will turn to self harm as a way to relieve tension. There are some common things that self harmers do, such as chewing on the insides of their mouths, burning themselves with cigarettes, and especially, cutting themselves.
While many people assume that self harmers are actually trying to commit suicide, that's not necessarily true. "Self harming is not a suicide gesture," says Mike Rohling, youth & family intervention manager at SIRSS. "It's really an inadequate coping mechanism."
Rohling notes that many of the kids he counsels for anger issues tend to take a lot of risks, which can put them into even more dangerous physical situations.
Types of treatment
Anger management is conducted in sessions for individuals and/or groups. Many participants will experience both throughout the course of their treatment.
"I think group actually works quite well," Knopp says. "That's what the members tell me too, because they can hear the stories of other people and what they've gone through. In the group, they're also encouraged to help each other with problem solving."
Most anger management programs will initially assess each participant to determine the magnitude and root cause of his or her anger. That's especially important when unmanaged anger has led one to become physically aggressive.
April Scales is the co-facilitator of the Alternatives to Violence (ATV) Program, designed for male perpetrators who have had an encounter of domestic violence against an intimate partner and have been referred to the program either by a court system, through orders of protection, or any other social service agency.
"You have to break down your understanding of where the abuse was derived from," Scales says. She also looks for specific things during her assessments. Was it something that they witnessed as children? Was it something that they felt was necessary to keep their partners obedient? What was the purpose of the abuse? Because abuse is usually a way of getting an immediate response, she says.
The ATV program is held in Marion and Harrisburg. Putting emphasis on the abuser's accountability and responsibility, it prohibits group members from blaming the victims of their abusive episodes.
Members are charged a sliding scale fee to attend the 26-week program. However, once they've completed the course they are allowed and encouraged to return as often as they feel is necessary, free of charge. This "maintenance" practice includes group or individual counseling sessions much like the original program.
Support is everyone's business
With so many damaging effects of unmanaged anger it should be easy to see why having strong support systems available is so important, especially to younger generations. Yet, many of the people in favor of supporting this cause aren't always willing or able to take action.
"As much as our society and our government say 'kids are our future,' I really don't think we back that up," notes Megan Devenport, youth and family counselor at SIRSS.
In a world of increasing deficits and decreasing state and federal funding, it's far from easy to accommodate the needs of programs such as these. However, those needs continue to grow whether help comes or not.
That's why Rohling hopes that people will contact their legislators and remind them how much this affects everyone. He explains that not helping kids with such severe problems could cause them to end up unemployable.
"These are people that are going to suck up tax dollars," he says. "If we take tax users and turn them into tax payers, it's worth the money."
Tips to control your temper
When your anger has a negative impact on your relationships, it may be time to find a better way of expressing it. The Mayo Clinic offers the following advice to get your anger under control:
• Take a "time out." Count to 10 before reacting or leave the situation altogether.
• Do something physically exerting. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. Go for a walk or a run, swim, lift weights or shoot baskets, for example.
• Find ways to calm and soothe yourself. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as "take it easy." You can also listen to music, paint, write in your journal or do yoga.
• Express your anger as soon as possible so that you aren't left stewing. If you can't express your anger in a controlled manner to the person who angered you, try talking to a family member, friend, counselor or another trusted person.
• Think carefully before you say anything so that you don't end up saying something you'll regret.
• Work with the person who angered you to identify solutions to the situation.
• Use "I" statements when describing the problem to avoid criticizing or placing blame. For instance, say "I'm upset you didn't help with the housework this evening," instead of, "You should have helped with the housework." To do otherwise will likely upset the other person and escalate tensions.
• Don't hold a grudge. Forgive the other person. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want.
• Use humor to defuse your anger, such as imagining yourself or the other person in silly situations. Don't use sarcasm, though - it's just another form of unhealthy expression.
• Keep an anger log to identify the kinds of situations that set you off and to monitor your reactions.
You can practice many of these strategies on your own. But if your anger seems out of control, is hurting your relationships or has escalated into violence, you may benefit from seeing a psychotherapist or an anger management professional. Role playing in controlled situations, such as anger management classes, can help you practice your techniques.
Excerpt of success
Learning to manage anger that was once out of control is certainly impressive. Nothing demonstrates that kind of success better than the words and actions of those who continue to apply what they learn through anger management.
In a program release statement excerpt written by a prior Alternatives to Violence (ATV) participant, co-facilitator, April Scales reads, "One very important thing I have learned is to recognize the warning signs of my anger building towards a potentially violent episode."
"By being able to identify these things, I'm better able to deal with conflict and react in a calm, non-violent way. I'm able to prepare myself ahead of time for high stress situations and avoid any potential conflict."
"Another important thing I've learned is that control is an unhealthy behavior. I know I cannot and should not control another person. Control creates stress, which leads to conflict and, in turn, can end in violence. Not trying to control someone else or allowing myself to be controlled makes for a much happier, healthier relationship."
www.daybreakservices.com
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Friday, June 29, 2007
By Jonathan D. Silver and Rich Lord, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
A police sergeant's June 18 promotion came three months after he was sent to anger management training and a supervisor recommended that his contact with the public be minimized.
Police leadership yesterday said that now-Sgt. Eugene F. Hlavac completed the training but was never removed from contact with the public and that the measure shouldn't have precluded his promotion.
"When they go to anger management, and get some sort of counseling, that's taken into consideration," Police Chief Nate Harper said. "If he would have continued to have anger issues, it would definitely be taken into consideration" in the promotion decision -- but he didn't.
Sgt. Hlavac's promotion is one of three that have sparked concern that was heard yesterday during a two-hour City Council public hearing. He and new Cmdr. George Trosky and Lt. Charles Rodriguez have all faced charges of verbal or violent domestic abuse.
The promotions are "appalling. They're insulting to the citizens of Pittsburgh," said Jeanne Clark, a member of the state board of the National Organization for Women and a Squirrel Hill resident. She was among 150 people at the hearing, including Chief Harper. Mayor Luke Ravenstahl did not attend.
"Clearly the police brass has no idea about the impact and the law regarding domestic violence," she said. "It kills women. It kills men."
Chief Harper listened to the two dozen speakers, then said he did not regret the promotions, instead faulting a public tendency to "accuse people" of things that have not been proved, adding that "the public has the right to their opinion."
Police officials have said that Sgt. Hlavac's domestic problems have been verbal, not violent.
A police report on a Jan. 3 incident states that Sgt. Raymond Hutton was called to the East Liberty apartment shared by Sgt. Hlavac and Lauren Maughan at 1:40 a.m.
Ms. Maughan told Sgt. Hutton that Sgt. Hlavac pulled her hair, hauled her from a bed and grabbed her wrist, according to the report. She was uninjured, but her left wrist and the back of her neck were red.
Sgt. Hlavac told Sgt. Hutton that he grabbed her wrist in self-defense when she hit him while holding a cell phone, and did not grab her hair, just her pillow.
On March 22, Sgt. Hlavac's supervisor at the time, Lt. Philip Dacey, said he witnessed an argument at the apartment, but there was no physical contact.
The next day, Sgt. Hlavac's boss, Zone 5 Cmdr. RaShall Brackney, recommended he be removed from active duty, undergo counseling and that his contact with the public be minimized when he returned.
The paperwork went to Assistant Chief William Bochter and Deputy Chief Paul Donaldson, both of whom signed off on the memo without comment.
Deputy Chief Donaldson said Sgt. Hlavac complied with the order to attend three days of anger management counseling.
"We never took him out of contact with the public," Chief Harper said. "We sent him to Zone 2" in the Hill District, where, the chief acknowledged, there is frequent contact with the public.
Chief Harper said there has been no decision on whether to reverse the promotions, which would involve demoting the men. Nor has the administration settled on any changes to promotion rules, which the mayor has said lack clear guidance on when an officer who is in line for a higher post can be passed over.
Fraternal Order of Police leadership has said the union will sue if the promotions are reversed or civil service rules altered.
"The issue isn't going away, and the FOP is not the only group that can sue," Ms. Clark warned at the hearing.
Shirl Regan, executive director of the Women's Center and Shelter of Greater Pittsburgh, asked that the city adopt a domestic violence policy that would affect promotions and require that the Allegheny County district attorney investigate all abuse calls to police officers' homes. She called for "immediate in-service training to all city police officers," and said the bureau should buy digital cameras for all squad cars so that officers can gather evidence on domestic violence cases.
Charles Hanlon, recording secretary for the FOP, was one of a few who spoke on behalf of the officers. He said the men were "promoted on just causes. ... These three men have just been accused. They have not been convicted."
Mr. Ravenstahl has said that he did not know of the issues involving Sgt. Hlavac and Lt. Rodriguez prior to their promotions.
Michele Cunko, former director of the city Civil Service Commission, said at the hearing that the chief had "an absolute right" to pass over any of the men for promotion. "We don't want police officers to think that this kind of behavior is rewarded with a promotion."
Rich Lord can be reached at rlord@post-gazette.com or 412-263-1542. Jonathan D. Silver can be reached at jsilver@post-gazette.com or 412-263-1962. )
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
www.daybreakservices.com
By Jonathan D. Silver and Rich Lord, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
A police sergeant's June 18 promotion came three months after he was sent to anger management training and a supervisor recommended that his contact with the public be minimized.
Police leadership yesterday said that now-Sgt. Eugene F. Hlavac completed the training but was never removed from contact with the public and that the measure shouldn't have precluded his promotion.
"When they go to anger management, and get some sort of counseling, that's taken into consideration," Police Chief Nate Harper said. "If he would have continued to have anger issues, it would definitely be taken into consideration" in the promotion decision -- but he didn't.
Sgt. Hlavac's promotion is one of three that have sparked concern that was heard yesterday during a two-hour City Council public hearing. He and new Cmdr. George Trosky and Lt. Charles Rodriguez have all faced charges of verbal or violent domestic abuse.
The promotions are "appalling. They're insulting to the citizens of Pittsburgh," said Jeanne Clark, a member of the state board of the National Organization for Women and a Squirrel Hill resident. She was among 150 people at the hearing, including Chief Harper. Mayor Luke Ravenstahl did not attend.
"Clearly the police brass has no idea about the impact and the law regarding domestic violence," she said. "It kills women. It kills men."
Chief Harper listened to the two dozen speakers, then said he did not regret the promotions, instead faulting a public tendency to "accuse people" of things that have not been proved, adding that "the public has the right to their opinion."
Police officials have said that Sgt. Hlavac's domestic problems have been verbal, not violent.
A police report on a Jan. 3 incident states that Sgt. Raymond Hutton was called to the East Liberty apartment shared by Sgt. Hlavac and Lauren Maughan at 1:40 a.m.
Ms. Maughan told Sgt. Hutton that Sgt. Hlavac pulled her hair, hauled her from a bed and grabbed her wrist, according to the report. She was uninjured, but her left wrist and the back of her neck were red.
Sgt. Hlavac told Sgt. Hutton that he grabbed her wrist in self-defense when she hit him while holding a cell phone, and did not grab her hair, just her pillow.
On March 22, Sgt. Hlavac's supervisor at the time, Lt. Philip Dacey, said he witnessed an argument at the apartment, but there was no physical contact.
The next day, Sgt. Hlavac's boss, Zone 5 Cmdr. RaShall Brackney, recommended he be removed from active duty, undergo counseling and that his contact with the public be minimized when he returned.
The paperwork went to Assistant Chief William Bochter and Deputy Chief Paul Donaldson, both of whom signed off on the memo without comment.
Deputy Chief Donaldson said Sgt. Hlavac complied with the order to attend three days of anger management counseling.
"We never took him out of contact with the public," Chief Harper said. "We sent him to Zone 2" in the Hill District, where, the chief acknowledged, there is frequent contact with the public.
Chief Harper said there has been no decision on whether to reverse the promotions, which would involve demoting the men. Nor has the administration settled on any changes to promotion rules, which the mayor has said lack clear guidance on when an officer who is in line for a higher post can be passed over.
Fraternal Order of Police leadership has said the union will sue if the promotions are reversed or civil service rules altered.
"The issue isn't going away, and the FOP is not the only group that can sue," Ms. Clark warned at the hearing.
Shirl Regan, executive director of the Women's Center and Shelter of Greater Pittsburgh, asked that the city adopt a domestic violence policy that would affect promotions and require that the Allegheny County district attorney investigate all abuse calls to police officers' homes. She called for "immediate in-service training to all city police officers," and said the bureau should buy digital cameras for all squad cars so that officers can gather evidence on domestic violence cases.
Charles Hanlon, recording secretary for the FOP, was one of a few who spoke on behalf of the officers. He said the men were "promoted on just causes. ... These three men have just been accused. They have not been convicted."
Mr. Ravenstahl has said that he did not know of the issues involving Sgt. Hlavac and Lt. Rodriguez prior to their promotions.
Michele Cunko, former director of the city Civil Service Commission, said at the hearing that the chief had "an absolute right" to pass over any of the men for promotion. "We don't want police officers to think that this kind of behavior is rewarded with a promotion."
Rich Lord can be reached at rlord@post-gazette.com or 412-263-1542. Jonathan D. Silver can be reached at jsilver@post-gazette.com or 412-263-1962. )
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
www.daybreakservices.com
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
MTV True Life- I need Anger Management
Dear Daybreak Counseling Services,
My production company is working on an episode of MTV’s long-running documentary series “True Life.” This episode will follow three young people attempting to control their anger issues.
Our hope with this show, as with all our shows that deal with youth issues, is that it will inspire young people who need help to seek treatment.
We’re currently looking for men and women, ages 18 to 25, who are about to start an anger management program. We’d like to follow someone through a program and see how that person changes. We’re open to all types of stories in all areas of the country, but we’re most concerned with following someone who is about to start a program, rather than someone who has already been through a program.
If you know anyone who might fit our profile, please let me know. You can reach me via e-mail (craig@punchedinthehead.com) or phone (646-303-2508).
Many thanks,
Craig D’Entrone
Producer, MTV “True Life”
Punched in the Head Productions
http://www.mtv.com/thinkmtv/features/true_life/
http://www.punchedinthehead.com
www.daybreakservices.com
My production company is working on an episode of MTV’s long-running documentary series “True Life.” This episode will follow three young people attempting to control their anger issues.
Our hope with this show, as with all our shows that deal with youth issues, is that it will inspire young people who need help to seek treatment.
We’re currently looking for men and women, ages 18 to 25, who are about to start an anger management program. We’d like to follow someone through a program and see how that person changes. We’re open to all types of stories in all areas of the country, but we’re most concerned with following someone who is about to start a program, rather than someone who has already been through a program.
If you know anyone who might fit our profile, please let me know. You can reach me via e-mail (craig@punchedinthehead.com) or phone (646-303-2508).
Many thanks,
Craig D’Entrone
Producer, MTV “True Life”
Punched in the Head Productions
http://www.mtv.com/thinkmtv/features/true_life/
http://www.punchedinthehead.com
www.daybreakservices.com
Monday, June 25, 2007
Pay attention to anger on job
Jun. 24, 2007 12:00 AM
Do you feel safe at work?
According to the National Crime Victimization Survey and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, nearly 2 million assaults and threats of violence against Americans at work occur annually. This includes 325,000 aggravated assaults, 36,500 rapes and sexual assaults, 70,100 robberies and 900 homicides. In addition to assaults and threats, a substantial number of employees report being bullied or harassed on the job.
Workplace violence costs employers billions of dollars in lost work time and wages, reduced productivity, medical costs, workers' compensation payments and legal and security expenses.
Providing training to recognize and address workplace violence should be a regular part of an employer's annual training regimen. An inappropriate-language tiff between employees can escalate to something much more serious if left unattended. Such behavior was reported at my company, MackayMitchell Envelope Co., so several months ago, management took time to review our offensive-behavior policy with all of our employees. We hired TEAM (Total Employee Assistance Management Inc.) and held several mandatory training classes.
I learned a lot about this issue, and while writing about such a topic is a real departure for me, I think this is especially important.
First off, what constitutes workplace violence? It includes name calling, yelling, angry remarks, obscene phone calls, vague or specific threats, throwing things, destroying property, shoving, stalking, hitting, stabbing, rape, suicide and murder.
Violence in the workplace can come from patients, students, customers and clients. Supervisors, managers and current or former employees can also commit it. In addition, violence can come from a spouse, child, neighbor or anyone who has a personal relationship with an employee.
A number of risk factors increase the likelihood of workplace violence, including a mishandled termination or disciplinary action; a grudge over a real or imaginary grievance; drug or alcohol use; bringing weapons to work or fascination with weapons; increasing belligerence; vague or specific threats; interest in recently publicized violent events; frequent outbursts of anger; and homicidal or suicidal comments or threats.
An employer has an obligation to provide a safe work environment. What can be done to decrease the likelihood and occurrence of workplace violence?
• Adopt a workplace-violence policy and prevention program.
• Communicate the policy to all employees and provide training sessions for all new and current employees and members of management.
• Adopt consistent and fair disciplinary procedures.
• Foster an environment of trust and respect among co-workers and between employees and management.
• When necessary, seek help from outside resources, such as law enforcement, employee-assistance groups and mental-health professionals.
Employees are often the first to notice potential problems with co-workers and should be encouraged to be active participants in keeping the workplace safe. What can employees do to help prevent workplace violence?
• Accept and adhere to your company's workplace-violence preventative policies and practices.
• Become aware of warning signs.
• Report any threatening and violent behaviors to management or human resources.
The instructor of our violence-in-the-workplace class shared this story with me about the "worry tree":
"I was in a session with a police officer and asked him how he dealt with all of the tragedy, death and inhuman behavior exhibited between people on the assorted police calls he makes.
"He told me that every night when he went home, he touched a tree before walking into his house. By touching the tree, he told himself, he was dumping all of the tragedy, stress, death and trauma on the tree. He then went into his home, took off his vest, locked his gun away and made the conscious choice to stop being a police officer and to start being a husband and dad.
"The next morning, he touched the tree on the way to his car to go to work and assumed all his worries. The amazing thing is, there aren't nearly as many as he hung up the night before. He told me that touching the tree allowed him to compartmentalize his life and prevented him from burning out."
The officer found a positive way to keep his anger and frustrations from turning into violent behavior. Help yourself and those around you to do the same.
Mackay's Moral: Control yourself: Remember, anger is just one letter short of danger.
Harvey Mackay is the author of The New York Times' No. 1 best-seller "Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive." He can be reached through his Web site, www.harveymackay.com, by e-mailing harveymackay.com or by writing him at MackayMitchell Envelope Co, 2100 Elm St. SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414.
Do you feel safe at work?
According to the National Crime Victimization Survey and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, nearly 2 million assaults and threats of violence against Americans at work occur annually. This includes 325,000 aggravated assaults, 36,500 rapes and sexual assaults, 70,100 robberies and 900 homicides. In addition to assaults and threats, a substantial number of employees report being bullied or harassed on the job.
Workplace violence costs employers billions of dollars in lost work time and wages, reduced productivity, medical costs, workers' compensation payments and legal and security expenses.
Providing training to recognize and address workplace violence should be a regular part of an employer's annual training regimen. An inappropriate-language tiff between employees can escalate to something much more serious if left unattended. Such behavior was reported at my company, MackayMitchell Envelope Co., so several months ago, management took time to review our offensive-behavior policy with all of our employees. We hired TEAM (Total Employee Assistance Management Inc.) and held several mandatory training classes.
I learned a lot about this issue, and while writing about such a topic is a real departure for me, I think this is especially important.
First off, what constitutes workplace violence? It includes name calling, yelling, angry remarks, obscene phone calls, vague or specific threats, throwing things, destroying property, shoving, stalking, hitting, stabbing, rape, suicide and murder.
Violence in the workplace can come from patients, students, customers and clients. Supervisors, managers and current or former employees can also commit it. In addition, violence can come from a spouse, child, neighbor or anyone who has a personal relationship with an employee.
A number of risk factors increase the likelihood of workplace violence, including a mishandled termination or disciplinary action; a grudge over a real or imaginary grievance; drug or alcohol use; bringing weapons to work or fascination with weapons; increasing belligerence; vague or specific threats; interest in recently publicized violent events; frequent outbursts of anger; and homicidal or suicidal comments or threats.
An employer has an obligation to provide a safe work environment. What can be done to decrease the likelihood and occurrence of workplace violence?
• Adopt a workplace-violence policy and prevention program.
• Communicate the policy to all employees and provide training sessions for all new and current employees and members of management.
• Adopt consistent and fair disciplinary procedures.
• Foster an environment of trust and respect among co-workers and between employees and management.
• When necessary, seek help from outside resources, such as law enforcement, employee-assistance groups and mental-health professionals.
Employees are often the first to notice potential problems with co-workers and should be encouraged to be active participants in keeping the workplace safe. What can employees do to help prevent workplace violence?
• Accept and adhere to your company's workplace-violence preventative policies and practices.
• Become aware of warning signs.
• Report any threatening and violent behaviors to management or human resources.
The instructor of our violence-in-the-workplace class shared this story with me about the "worry tree":
"I was in a session with a police officer and asked him how he dealt with all of the tragedy, death and inhuman behavior exhibited between people on the assorted police calls he makes.
"He told me that every night when he went home, he touched a tree before walking into his house. By touching the tree, he told himself, he was dumping all of the tragedy, stress, death and trauma on the tree. He then went into his home, took off his vest, locked his gun away and made the conscious choice to stop being a police officer and to start being a husband and dad.
"The next morning, he touched the tree on the way to his car to go to work and assumed all his worries. The amazing thing is, there aren't nearly as many as he hung up the night before. He told me that touching the tree allowed him to compartmentalize his life and prevented him from burning out."
The officer found a positive way to keep his anger and frustrations from turning into violent behavior. Help yourself and those around you to do the same.
Mackay's Moral: Control yourself: Remember, anger is just one letter short of danger.
Harvey Mackay is the author of The New York Times' No. 1 best-seller "Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive." He can be reached through his Web site, www.harveymackay.com, by e-mailing harveymackay.com or by writing him at MackayMitchell Envelope Co, 2100 Elm St. SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Workplace Coach: How a leader responds to stress sets tone for everyone
By MAUREEN MORIARTY
SPECIAL TO THE P-I
Experience, drive and intellect are important skills for leading successfully in today's business world, but they're not enough.
Successful leaders need to be able to inspire, motivate and communicate that they care about their people. They need to deal effectively not only with their own emotions but with the emotions of those around them.
The workplace today is increasingly full of challenge and stress. We are all being asked to do more with less. One of the greatest challenges leaders face is dealing with stress.
How a leader responds to stress can be contagious. Leaders who openly display anger, fear, resentment and anxiety under stress can be toxic to their people and the business. Allowed to continue unchecked, this kind of behavior can have a devastating impact on an organization. Loose cannons sink ships and human talent can be driven away.
How we deal with stress, challenge and conflict has roots deep in human evolution. The problem: In times of great stress or crisis, our limbic brains literally take over the rest of the brain. In the emotional intelligence arena, this is referred to as an "amygdala hijack," meaning the reptilian part of the brain (the amygdala) has taken over for the more advanced, cognitive part of the brain.
The amygdala is the part of the brain largely responsible for our freeze, fight or flight response; in other words, our caveman defense system. We have millions of years of evolution hard-wired into our brains to protect us from those nasty sabertooths and other predators. While sabertooths no longer exist, sometimes it can seem as if your boss or co-worker is out to get you. This is when the lizard part of your brain kicks in so effectively and totally with its highly protective response. But as Martha Beck (Oprah's O Magazine life coach) says, Do you really want to be taking advice from a lizard?
She makes a great point. When we lose control of our emotions and allow ourselves to be swept away by anger, fear or anxiety, it's usually the lizard in you that is running the show.
How to get the lizard in you under control:
Self-awareness: Develop your ability to see or feel yourself getting "hooked" or hijacked. Getting hooked means someone has pushed your emotional button (or grabbed your lizard). Most of us know our buttons. If you don't, make it your mission to know so you can see them coming.
Many of our triggers stem from early childhood experiences. For example, if you grew up with a father with very high expectations, you may overreact to criticism from a co-worker or boss. Similarly, if you were the middle child (and didn't get the attention you craved), you may "react" when members of your workplace team don't listen to your ideas or pay enough attention to you.
The key is recognizing your triggers so you can make a choice to behave differently. You do have a choice about how you react. Practice tracking and identifying your emotional triggers. Pay attention to the child (and lizard) within you to develop insight about when an "amygdala hijack" may be imminent (Hint: the hair standing up on the back of your neck or breaking into a cold sweat are clues). There are tools and instruments available to help you identify your typical response to stress and challenge and learn new strategies.
Self-regulation: Develop self-soothing or coping strategies to rely on when you know you are hooked. For some a walk around the block or taking deep breaths will work. Others use daily exercise or meditation to help them remain calm. The key is finding what works for you, and remembering to use it when you find yourself headed for trouble.
Next week: How to deal with a boss or peer whose inner lizard is out of control.
Maureen Moriarty is a professional accredited executive coach, organizational development consultant and leadership development corporate trainer. She is the founder of Pathways to Change and offers leadership development courses and coaching to local companies and individuals. Web site: pathtochange.com. She can be reached at 425-837-9297.
Posted by
Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
SPECIAL TO THE P-I
Experience, drive and intellect are important skills for leading successfully in today's business world, but they're not enough.
Successful leaders need to be able to inspire, motivate and communicate that they care about their people. They need to deal effectively not only with their own emotions but with the emotions of those around them.
The workplace today is increasingly full of challenge and stress. We are all being asked to do more with less. One of the greatest challenges leaders face is dealing with stress.
How a leader responds to stress can be contagious. Leaders who openly display anger, fear, resentment and anxiety under stress can be toxic to their people and the business. Allowed to continue unchecked, this kind of behavior can have a devastating impact on an organization. Loose cannons sink ships and human talent can be driven away.
How we deal with stress, challenge and conflict has roots deep in human evolution. The problem: In times of great stress or crisis, our limbic brains literally take over the rest of the brain. In the emotional intelligence arena, this is referred to as an "amygdala hijack," meaning the reptilian part of the brain (the amygdala) has taken over for the more advanced, cognitive part of the brain.
The amygdala is the part of the brain largely responsible for our freeze, fight or flight response; in other words, our caveman defense system. We have millions of years of evolution hard-wired into our brains to protect us from those nasty sabertooths and other predators. While sabertooths no longer exist, sometimes it can seem as if your boss or co-worker is out to get you. This is when the lizard part of your brain kicks in so effectively and totally with its highly protective response. But as Martha Beck (Oprah's O Magazine life coach) says, Do you really want to be taking advice from a lizard?
She makes a great point. When we lose control of our emotions and allow ourselves to be swept away by anger, fear or anxiety, it's usually the lizard in you that is running the show.
How to get the lizard in you under control:
Self-awareness: Develop your ability to see or feel yourself getting "hooked" or hijacked. Getting hooked means someone has pushed your emotional button (or grabbed your lizard). Most of us know our buttons. If you don't, make it your mission to know so you can see them coming.
Many of our triggers stem from early childhood experiences. For example, if you grew up with a father with very high expectations, you may overreact to criticism from a co-worker or boss. Similarly, if you were the middle child (and didn't get the attention you craved), you may "react" when members of your workplace team don't listen to your ideas or pay enough attention to you.
The key is recognizing your triggers so you can make a choice to behave differently. You do have a choice about how you react. Practice tracking and identifying your emotional triggers. Pay attention to the child (and lizard) within you to develop insight about when an "amygdala hijack" may be imminent (Hint: the hair standing up on the back of your neck or breaking into a cold sweat are clues). There are tools and instruments available to help you identify your typical response to stress and challenge and learn new strategies.
Self-regulation: Develop self-soothing or coping strategies to rely on when you know you are hooked. For some a walk around the block or taking deep breaths will work. Others use daily exercise or meditation to help them remain calm. The key is finding what works for you, and remembering to use it when you find yourself headed for trouble.
Next week: How to deal with a boss or peer whose inner lizard is out of control.
Maureen Moriarty is a professional accredited executive coach, organizational development consultant and leadership development corporate trainer. She is the founder of Pathways to Change and offers leadership development courses and coaching to local companies and individuals. Web site: pathtochange.com. She can be reached at 425-837-9297.
Posted by
Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
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