Healthy Arguing- Anger Management Classes for couples

As a therapist, I once worked with a couple that told me that they had never argued in their 13 years of marriage. I was astonished. I first wondered how emotionally involved they were with each other. The truth is that arguing is a part of a healthy relationship. We all come to a relationship with our individual perspectives, beliefs, values, experiences and issues from our families of origin. It doesn’t make sense to expect to agree on everything. “Expectations” and “Empathy” are 2 of the 8 tools taught in anger management classes at Daybreak Counseling Service These tool help to decrease anger and increase harmony. Unhealthy arguing is often a way some people use to release resentments or to punish the other. In a healthy argument, issues can get resolved and we learn more about the other person. Healthy arguing is considered a hallmark of a healthy relationship. When we come to understand that others have their own “opinions” born out of their own experiences, we will feel less threatened and not demand that they agree with us. When I see a couple seeking out anger management therapy because of a “hostile environment” in their relationship, I ask about the topic of their spats. They seldom remember what they had fought about. This is because “spats” are usually about old grievances or resentments. When issues come up in a relationship and they are not dealt with at the time, the parties build hostility towards one another. The resentments become a wedge between parties and lead to negative thoughts which then breeds petty and misguided exchanges. This can be resolved by “telling the truth faster”. When one partner is hurt or disrespected he or she needs to tell their partner immediately! This is how to keep the channel between them clean and harmonious. It is harmful to a marriage or relationship for partners to hold on to past anger and leads to “kitchen sink” fights, which can incorporate all past grievances in one moment. This is much to stressful for a relationship to sustain. We can come to believe in the normalcy of 2 people having diverse viewpoints on the same subject and that we don’t need to demand they agree with us. Stay emotionally current with your partner and your arguments will be about today and not the past. Shannon Munford Daybreak Counseling Service http://daybreakservices.com 855-662-6437

Anger is "All the Rage" these days

As an Anger Management Facilitator at Daybreak Counseling Services in Santa Monica, CA, for several years, I have watched the level of anger, rage and resentment rise in the general population and most certainly in political and financial affairs throughout the country. Stories abound of out-of-control anger to murderous rage. An angry Connecticut man strangled his dog when the dog urinated on his leg. In another article it was published that a man in Philadelphia threw scalding hot coffee in the face of a donut shop owner when she questioned whether or not he paid $2.40 for his muffin. A 14-year-old boy in Alabama recently hung his 12-year-old sister from a rope when she made him angry. In New York City a man punched a young female in the face over a parking space. In Little Rock, Arkansas yesterday, a newlywed husband shot to death his pregnant wife of one week. It would appear that our whole culture is in need of “anger management!” From the Trayvon Martin shooting in Florida to hundreds since (only 9 weeks later) we are constantly reading about knives, guns, violence and unbridled rage. Why? What is going on? Some say it is simply that that the Internet has given us more access to the news. I am not sure what is causing more and more people to act out their fury and do the damage they do. It is utterly horrifying and speaks to the general corruption of our society’s moral fiber. I am blessed to have the opportunity to help clients at Daybreak Counseling Services with their anger management challenges. Clients who attend are either mandated by the courts, or come voluntarily because their anger has had a negative effect on their lives and relationships. It has been said: “You don’t need to do great things. Do small things in a great way”. Keeping our anger in check and a head-on commitment to peace and dignity in our own lives can guarantee our personal contribution to the benevolence and harmony so crucially needed in our country. Susan Levy MA Daybreak Counseling Service 3301 Ocean Park Blvd #111 Santa Monica CA 90405 http://daybreakservices.com 855-NO ANGER 855-662-6437

Anger Management for Crowbar Attack

Rodolfo Rodriguez, 54, of Bay City was given a year of probation as well as 12 weeks of anger management for assaulting a co-worker with a crowbar in April of this year. On April 22, Rodriguez was working at a construction site near Bay City Academy when he got into an argument with a coworker. At one point he Rodriguez grabbed a crow bar and used it to smack the other person in the face. You’d think that getting hit in the face with a crow bar would be enough to end the fight, but the man actually ended up chasing Rodriguez down and jumping him. That same man later told police that he did not want to press charges because he “got his licks in”. However police also found a bag of marijuana on him, which may help explain how he was able to get up and chase down Rodriguez after taking a crowbar to the face.

Instead of being charged with a felony, Rodriguez pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor for aggravated assault. Along with the year of probation and the 12 week anger management course, Rodriguez also had to serve two days in jail, submit to drug testing, and a fine of $980 in restitution. Perhaps if Rodriguez had taken the time to realize he had been getting angry with a drug user and just left the situation he wouldn’t have gotten into so much trouble. As they say, “don’t argue with a fool for he is doing the same”.


For help with your anger management problem please call 855-662-6437 or visit Daybreak Counseling Service www.daybreakservices.com

Huntington Beach Hate Crime

10/27/2011

Jennifer Renee Vanveldhuzen of San Diego was sentenced to three years of probation for punching a trash collector in the face on October 3 of this year. Vanveldhuzen plead guilty to a felony account of hate-crime battery for her assault on a 50-year-old Hispanic worker. The incident happened at 7:15 pm, when Vanveldhuzen came up to the worker yelling racial slurs as well as profanities, and eventually ended up punching the worker in the face. Reports say that she was intoxicated during the whole thing but prosecutors insisted that she targeted the worker solely for his ethnicity. Her sentence also included a one-year jail sentence that will be stayed pending her three years of probation, 90 days in an alcohol rehabilitation program, and 10 weeks in an anger management program.

Although some people use alcohol to “chill out”, it doesn’t keep your anger under control if you end up getting plastered, and Vanveldhuzen obviously did not have control when this incident occurred. Her lack of control cost her court and lawyer fees, the costs of anger management and alcohol rehab programs, and her time while she is on probation for three years. Not to mention respect from others as she is now known as being racist.

For more information on anger management classes visit www.daybreakservics.com or call 855-662-6437

Teens tend to Blow Up sometimes

10/20/11

Eighteen-year-old Austin Simmons was ordered to attend an anger management class and to get a drug and alcohol evaluation in exchange for having the charges against him dropped. Simmons was arrested for making and setting off small bombs in the woods behind Frankfort Avenue in West View, on September 22 of this year. Instead of being charged with risking catastrophe and criminal conspiracy, recklessly endangering another person, disorderly conduct and corruption of minors, he will only be charged with a summary criminal mischief offense. Simmons was not alone that night; he also had two 17-year-old boys with him as they set of homemade bottle bombs. The two 17-year-olds face charges of criminal mischief, as eight vehicles along Center Avenue and Oakwood and Richland Avenues had their tires slashed that same evening. Whether these explosions were anger based or not, it’s always important to evaluate your actions or you may end up in trouble.

David Grange is an intern with Daybreak Counseling Service in its Yorba Linda Office. Daybreak Counseling Service teaches anger management techniques in 5 Southern California offices including Yorba Linda, Los Angeles, Gardena, Santa Monica and Pasadena.

For more information please call 855 662 6437 or visit www.daybreakservices.com

Free anger management classes for female survivors of abuse.

Daybreak Counseling Service is offering 5 free anger management sessions for women who are survivors of sexual, emotional and physical abuse. New female clients who enroll in the month of August 2011 only will be allowed to participate in 5 free anger management classes.

An anger management course is not a substitute from trauma treatment but it will provide practical tools to manage the emotions that come along with past abuse. Topics include effective communication, stress management, adjusting expectations, reatreating to think, forgiveness, empathy, and change talk.

All anger management groups are mixed but facilitated by female instructors who hold Masters Degrees in Marraige Family Therapy, Counseling or Psychology.

Courses are held in the following cities: Gardena, Pasadena, Santa Monica, Van Nuys and Yorba Linda.

For more information visit www.daybreakservices.com or call 855-662-6437.

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Measuring Progress in your anger management class

By Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com


• DO YOU EXPRESS ANGER DIFFERENTLY THEN BEFORE YOU STARTED CLASSES?
• DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF AN ANGRY PERSON TODAY?
• HOW DO YOU MANAGE YOUR ANGER IN THE WORKPLACE?
• HAVE YOU GIVEN UP MOST OF YOUR “ROAD RAGE”?
• DO YOU NOW RECOGNIZE WHEN YOU ARE STRESSED?
• HAVE YOU FOUND ACTIVITIES TO LESSEN YOUR STRESS AND DO YOU PRACTICE? DO YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF AND YOUR BEHAVIORS?
• HAVE OTHER PEOPLE NOTICED A CHANGE IN YOU?
• DO YOU GET ANGRY LESS OFTEN?
• WHEN YOU DO GET ANGRY, DO YOU USE YOUR NEW TOOLS?
• DO YOU ENGAGE IN HEALTHIER ACTIVITIES?
• ARE YOU LESS JUDGMENTAL OF YOURSELF AND OTHERS?
• DO YOU FEEL LESS GUILT AND SHAME NOW THAT YOU CAN BETTER MANAGE ANGER?
• DO YOU HAVE LESS ANXIETY, HEADACHES, STOMACH PROBLEMS?
• DO YOU FIND YOURSELF ARGUING LESS?
• ARE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS LESS STRAINED AND MORE ENJOYABLE?
• DO YOU FEEL MORE SELF-RESPECT?
• ARE YOU MORE EMPATHETIC OF OTHERS?
• HAVE OTHERS NOTICED THE CHANGE IN YOU?

For more information on anger management courses call 855- NO ANGER, 855-662-6437