angerarchive

Anger Management for Crowbar Attack

2011-11-11T14:10:00.000-08:00

Rodolfo Rodriguez, 54, of Bay City was given a year of probation as well as 12 weeks of anger management for assaulting a co-worker with a crowbar in April of this year. On April 22, Rodriguez was working at a construction site near Bay City Academy when he got into an argument with a coworker. At one point he Rodriguez grabbed a crow bar and used it to smack the other person in the face. You’d think that getting hit in the face with a crow bar would be enough to end the fight, but the man actually ended up chasing Rodriguez down and jumping him. That same man later told police that he did not want to press charges because he “got his licks in”. However police also found a bag of marijuana on him, which may help explain how he was able to get up and chase down Rodriguez after taking a crowbar to the face.

Instead of being charged with a felony, Rodriguez pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor for aggravated assault. Along with the year of probation and the 12 week anger management course, Rodriguez also had to serve two days in jail, submit to drug testing, and a fine of $980 in restitution. Perhaps if Rodriguez had taken the time to realize he had been getting angry with a drug user and just left the situation he wouldn’t have gotten into so much trouble. As they say, “don’t argue with a fool for he is doing the same”.

For help with your anger management problem please call 855-662-6437 or visit Daybreak Counseling Service www.daybreakservices.com

Huntington Beach Hate Crime

2011-10-27T17:51:00.000-07:00

10/27/2011

Jennifer Renee Vanveldhuzen of San Diego was sentenced to three years of probation for punching a trash collector in the face on October 3 of this year. Vanveldhuzen plead guilty to a felony account of hate-crime battery for her assault on a 50-year-old Hispanic worker. The incident happened at 7:15 pm, when Vanveldhuzen came up to the worker yelling racial slurs as well as profanities, and eventually ended up punching the worker in the face. Reports say that she was intoxicated during the whole thing but prosecutors insisted that she targeted the worker solely for his ethnicity. Her sentence also included a one-year jail sentence that will be stayed pending her three years of probation, 90 days in an alcohol rehabilitation program, and 10 weeks in an anger management program.

Although some people use alcohol to “chill out”, it doesn’t keep your anger under control if you end up getting plastered, and Vanveldhuzen obviously did not have control when this incident occurred. Her lack of control cost her court and lawyer fees, the costs of anger management and alcohol rehab programs, and her time while she is on probation for three years. Not to mention respect from others as she is now known as being racist.

For more information on anger management classes visit www.daybreakservics.com or call 855-662-6437

Teens tend to Blow Up sometimes

2011-10-20T16:23:00.000-07:00

10/20/11

Eighteen-year-old Austin Simmons was ordered to attend an anger management class and to get a drug and alcohol evaluation in exchange for having the charges against him dropped. Simmons was arrested for making and setting off small bombs in the woods behind Frankfort Avenue in West View, on September 22 of this year. Instead of being charged with risking catastrophe and criminal conspiracy, recklessly endangering another person, disorderly conduct and corruption of minors, he will only be charged with a summary criminal mischief offense. Simmons was not alone that night; he also had two 17-year-old boys with him as they set of homemade bottle bombs. The two 17-year-olds face charges of criminal mischief, as eight vehicles along Center Avenue and Oakwood and Richland Avenues had their tires slashed that same evening. Whether these explosions were anger based or not, it’s always important to evaluate your actions or you may end up in trouble.

David Grange is an intern with Daybreak Counseling Service in its Yorba Linda Office. Daybreak Counseling Service teaches anger management techniques in 5 Southern California offices including Yorba Linda, Los Angeles, Gardena, Santa Monica and Pasadena.

For more information please call 855 662 6437 or visit www.daybreakservices.com

Free anger management classes for female survivors of abuse.

2011-08-04T14:36:00.000-07:00

Daybreak Counseling Service is offering 5 free anger management sessions for women who are survivors of sexual, emotional and physical abuse. New female clients who enroll in the month of August 2011 only will be allowed to participate in 5 free anger management classes.

An anger management course is not a substitute from trauma treatment but it will provide practical tools to manage the emotions that come along with past abuse. Topics include effective communication, stress management, adjusting expectations, reatreating to think, forgiveness, empathy, and change talk.

All anger management groups are mixed but facilitated by female instructors who hold Masters Degrees in Marraige Family Therapy, Counseling or Psychology.

Courses are held in the following cities: Gardena, Pasadena, Santa Monica, Van Nuys and Yorba Linda.

For more information visit www.daybreakservices.com or call 855-662-6437.

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Measuring Progress in your anger management class

2011-06-28T18:29:00.000-07:00

By Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com

• DO YOU EXPRESS ANGER DIFFERENTLY THEN BEFORE YOU STARTED CLASSES?
• DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF AN ANGRY PERSON TODAY?
• HOW DO YOU MANAGE YOUR ANGER IN THE WORKPLACE?
• HAVE YOU GIVEN UP MOST OF YOUR “ROAD RAGE”?
• DO YOU NOW RECOGNIZE WHEN YOU ARE STRESSED?
• HAVE YOU FOUND ACTIVITIES TO LESSEN YOUR STRESS AND DO YOU PRACTICE? DO YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF AND YOUR BEHAVIORS?
• HAVE OTHER PEOPLE NOTICED A CHANGE IN YOU?
• DO YOU GET ANGRY LESS OFTEN?
• WHEN YOU DO GET ANGRY, DO YOU USE YOUR NEW TOOLS?
• DO YOU ENGAGE IN HEALTHIER ACTIVITIES?
• ARE YOU LESS JUDGMENTAL OF YOURSELF AND OTHERS?
• DO YOU FEEL LESS GUILT AND SHAME NOW THAT YOU CAN BETTER MANAGE ANGER?
• DO YOU HAVE LESS ANXIETY, HEADACHES, STOMACH PROBLEMS?
• DO YOU FIND YOURSELF ARGUING LESS?
• ARE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS LESS STRAINED AND MORE ENJOYABLE?
• DO YOU FEEL MORE SELF-RESPECT?
• ARE YOU MORE EMPATHETIC OF OTHERS?
• HAVE OTHERS NOTICED THE CHANGE IN YOU?

For more information on anger management courses call 855- NO ANGER, 855-662-6437

Feb. 28th to March 6th 2011: 6-Day Anger Management Intensive Program

2011-02-09T09:19:00.000-08:00

Daybreak Counseling Service is a leader in anger management education. The company provides anger mangement classes and anger management seminars for corporations, families and individuals.

Daybreak Counselors have been featured on popular national television programs such as Keeping up with the Kardashians, MTV Real World Hollywood, MSNBC’s-The Dylan Ratigan Show, E! News Entertainment and more.

This 6- day anger management instensive program is designed for those who need to find distance from the challenges and triggers of life and immerse themselves in a comprehensive and compassionate enviroment.

This anger management course focuses on the following topics: Communication, Stress Management, Adjusting Expectations, Responding instead of Reacting, Forgiveness, Empathy, Changing the Conversation within yourself, Reatreating and think things over.

Each course is taught by instructors who have Masters Degrees in Marraige Family Therapy, Psychology or Social Work.

Although the retreat intensive, the schedule allows for ample time to enjoy the sunny Southern, California enviroment. Times for reflection and self-nuturing are purposely built into the program. The Schedule is as follows:

Monday- One Hour introduction class in Gardena, California 7pm-8pm
Tuesday- Two Hour class in Pasadena, California 6pm-8pm
Wednesday- Two Hour class in Santa Monica, California 6pm-8pm
Thursday- Two Hour class in Gardena, California 6pm-8pm
Friday-Day of reflection – No Class
Saturday- 6 Hour class – Gardena, California 9am-3pm
Sunday- 6 Hour class- Santa Monica, California 9am-3pm

Each workshop is located with 30 minutes of each other. You will work with a variety of instructors each with their own expertise and unique style.

The total program cost is $675.

For more information call
855-NO-ANGER
855-662-6437

Daybreak Counseling Service
http://www.daybreakservices.com
http://twitter.com/angryinla

CASTING CALL FOR NEW THERAPY REALITY SHOW

2011-01-11T11:59:00.000-08:00

Hi Shannon,

How are you? I know it has been a while since we have spoken but it’s Martin from “Decison House” days. I hope all has been well for you as if late. I wanted to tell you about a project I am currenlty working on that is in your field. I’m casting a compelling new series based in Southern California that will help families who are struggling with difficult issues, such as lack of communication, anger management, infedelities, bullying, eating disorders, non-acceptance etc.. As you know, these issues not only affect the individual, but the whole family unit as well – and our show’s Licensed Family Therapist, Dr. Tara Fields (as seen on Oprah, Dr. Phil and CNN) wants to help!!! Dr. Tara Fields knows that especially in these tough economic times, a lot of families are struggling but don’t know where to turn…and this heart-warming show will be devoted to lending a helping hand to the families who need it.

Please see our casting notice attached and copied below. If you’re interested in learning more or have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Please feel free to forward it to whomever you think would be interested in the opportunity, whether it is a family or an individual/organization who works with families. As a thank-you for your time and assistance, we do offer a $500 fee if you refer a family who appears on the show. They are also working on giving organizations rolling credit on air or the network’s website, which we can discuss more in detail later.

I look forward to hearing from you Shannon and working together again. Please feel free to contact me anytime to discuss this further.

All the best!

Martin

Martin Hardy
Casting Producer
212-377-4618
IshTVCasting.Martin@gmail.com

TELL THEM SHANNON MUNFORD FROM DAYRBEAK COUNSELING SERVICE SENT YOU!

Building Fences- Establishing Healthy Boundaries for good Anger Management

2010-12-31T08:57:00.000-08:00

Having healthy boundaries is a vital part of emotional intelligence. We all have the need to know where we leave off and another person begins. If we don’t create boundaries we are susceptible to the manipulation of others. We are more prone to allow others to use or abuse us.

Physical Boundaries

• It is our responsibility to create boundaries and then to enforce them. Our boundary might be physical:

• You cannot touch me.

• Do not go through my things.

• What is on my cell phone is my business.

Emotional Boundaries

• You boundary may be emotional.

• I have a right to keep certain thoughts or feelings to myself.

• You cannot dump your negativity on me.

• I will say no if I need to.

It is when we create a personal boundary and then allow others to cross it that we become angry – usually angry at ourselves. Why do we do this? Many reasons. We want to appear “nice” or we might be afraid of the other person. Maybe we have low self-esteem and don’t feel worthy of having boundaries. Perhaps we have never been taught that we have a right to our thoughts and feelings and behaviors regardless of what others want or need.
Those with no boundaries tend to “people please”. They do what others want and betray their own needs. They lose self-respect and become angry at themselves (but usually are not aware of this).

The people in our lives are simply behaving in a manner in which they can get their needs met. Our response is our choice and only becomes a problem when we put the needs of others first. It is responsible and healthy to honor our own needs. There are those who will try to manipulate us by calling us “selfish” or using the ubiquitous phrases “But I thought you loved me” or “If you were a good friend, you would…..”.

We must stay strong and act in our best interest in spite of the needs of others. It isn’t easy being honest sometimes, but is always healthy to enforce our boundaries and not allow others to weaken our resolve. Healthy boundaries are a hallmark of emotional intelligence. Anger Management Classes help clients learn how to set healthy boundaries and how to sustain them.

Daybreak Counseling Service
310-995-1202

www.daybreakservices.com
twitter.com/angryinla

Court Approved Anger Management Class

2010-12-28T14:30:00.000-08:00

Daybreak Counseling Service has been providing anger management classes in Los Angeles County for the past 8 years. Now the company is nationally known due to a variety of television appearances by it CEO, anger management expert Shannon Munford.

For the last 3 years Daybreak Counseling Service has embraced the Century Anger Management Curriculum.

The Century Anger Management Curriculum utilizes the 8 Tools of Anger Management to teach clients evidence based stratergies to manage anger.

The Century Anger Management curriculum "Anger Management in the Twenty First Century" has been updated and revised for 2011

The Corrections Standards Authority (California State Board of Corrections) will be renewing Century Anger Management for the 6th straight year as a Corrections provider for the state of California.
Several public schools have adopted the Century Anger Management curriculum for use with their students, including Turlock Unified School District in California, the Berlin School District in Wisconsin, and the Owasso Public schools in Oklahoma.

Daybreak Counseling Service continues to be a favorite anger management class referral for the Los Angeles County Superior Court, Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services as well as Public Defenders and Criminal Defense Attorneys through out Orange County and Los Angeles County.

For more information visit www.daybreaksevices.com or call 310-995-1202

An Open Letter to Daybreak Counseling Service Anger Management Service Providers

2010-12-21T15:16:00.000-08:00

I wanted to take the time to let you know I am thankful for the services you provide at Daybreak Counseling Service. Your knowledge, compassion and commitment have made it possible for us to meet the needs of over 500 registered clients this year. As you know, when we are able to help one person manage his or her anger, we are changing the lives of everyone who comes in contact with that person. If we could look beyond the veil of “what ifs” and “could haves”, I think we would see that our efforts have prevented countless broken relationships, child abuse cases and possibly even death.

Your creativity and personality have kept clients coming back week after week. This is a remarkable accomplishment considering the economic times we live in.

I appreciate your patience in working with me, an imperfect CEO. Daybreak has experienced significant changes throughout 2010 and I value your flexibility during this time of necessary growth and expansion.

After nine years of business, Daybreak has contracted the services of its first General Manager. Elson Mills has been instrumental in launching our web-based data system, establishing debit/credit machines in Gardena and Pasadena offices and initiating a more efficient monetary tracking system. More changes are still to come for Daybreak and he will be taking the lead in the expansion efforts. There will be more information to come during the first quarter of 2011.

I have also welcomed Dee, who is a recent addition to our administrative team. As Administrator, she has many years of experience and has been instrumental in the area of creating and sending progress reports and handling office supply inventory.

As we close 2010, Daybreak has had quite successful year: (1) adding classes in the Santa Monica and Gardena offices; (2) establishing the first Orange County office in the city of Yorba Linda; (3) as CEO, having the opportunity to share my thoughts on anger management on MSNBC’s Dylan Ratigan Show and E! Entertainment Network News. I am also looking forward to other consulting opportunities for news, talk and reality programs in the near future.

It is my hope that you find your work as rewarding as I do. I welcome your feedback, ideas and suggestions and look forward to a prosperous and fulfilling 2011.

Sincerely,

Shannon Munford, MS
CEO/ President, Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
twitter.com/angryinla
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Act in your own best interest

2010-12-01T15:16:00.000-08:00

There are many situations in which we can find ourselves conflicted over how to behave. This is especially true when a person, place or thing has made us angry.” Responding” instead of “Reacting” is always in our own best interest. Our choice of behavior is often dictated by the specific situation or environment we are in.

As our many clients learn, we always chose our actions. Many claim their behavior is the result of another person’s words or actions. They blame others. “If he hadn’t yelled at me, I wouldn’t have thrown his cell phone”. “If you were married to my wife, you’d drink too”. Blaming others is irresponsible and it prevents change and growth. We give our personal power away when we claim that another person is responsible for our words and actions.

We have the freedom and power to decide how we will respond in any situation. Regardless of how unfairly or badly we think we are being treated, it is our “choice” how we respond.

Responding in the right way at the right time with the right person in the right situation takes “emotional intelligence”, a topic largely discussed in Anger Management Classes. It is the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions.

Our behavior choices differ according to the setting we find ourselves in. Exploding with anger at our boss is definitely not in our best interest. Neither is being so stressed out that we verbally abuse our children. Our personal relationships call for different behavior than our public or professional life.

This is why having emotional intelligence is so important. In each area of our lives, we need to know what we are feeling and then be able to control our feelings. Like the many stories we hear in our classes, an angry outburst or an instant “reaction” can cost a relationship, a job, your freedom or even a life.

For most people these are costs that are too high to pay. Fortunately, we can learn new ways of thinking and processing our emotions so that we don’t allow our anger to hurt ourselves or others – and this is always in our own best interest.

Daybreak clients are grateful when they recognize the past consequences of their anger and are able to change. They report better relationships, more self esteem and less problems in all areas of their lives.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
twitter.com/angryinla
www.youtube.com/user/angryinla
Find us on FACEBOOK
310-995-1202

Anxious About the Holidays? Three Tips for Managing Your Stress and Anger Management This Holiday Season.

2010-11-16T06:07:00.000-08:00

The holidays are just around the corner and we all know as wonderful as they are, they can also be a stressful time. In my work as a mental health clinician, I constantly see a pattern of heightened stress in families during the holiday season. Particularly when having to deal with family members that we just don’t get along with. Getting together with family that we hardly see or talk to for most of the year can cause great anxiety and tension. Many times this can lead to arguments, outbursts, and regrettable incidents. By preparing in advance and following a few anger management strategies, you might find yourself more at peace this holiday season.

Tip #1 – Give yourself permission to NOT be excited about the gatherings – Remember relatives are just that – people you are related to. You may love them, but it is okay to admit you don’t like them very much. Being realistic about this in advance can help you feel less guilty about your feelings. You’re not alone.

Tip # 2 – Set boundaries ahead of time – This goes along with giving yourself permission in some ways. The first step is to let those people know what you expect out of this holiday visit. For example, if your parents are the root of the problem, let them know in advance in a phone call that although you would really like to see them and spend this time with them, you would also like for them to refrain from discussing certain topics and making disrespectful remarks about your divorce or money problems. Be specific so they know what you mean. You also need to be able to understand what you can and cannot do. If you know you are not going to keep your cool around certain people, just say no. It is always best to politely decline an invitation beforehand instead of bailing last minute or, worse, creating a scene once you’re there. If it involves people you must see, such as parents or siblings, set aside a time limit for how long you will be there and stick to it before things get heated. Another tip might be to take a good friend along to serve as your anger thermometer and remind you of when it might be time to go.

Tip #3 – Prepare for the worst, hope for the best - If you know that Uncle Steve, “the belligerent drinker” will be there or you know your pops is bound to start the “what are you doing with your life” conversation, prepare for this. You don’t want to walk into these situations with a negative attitude and your guard up but it’s always a good idea to be prepared for what may come. Have a few ideas of what might come up and practice what you could say in order to avoid conflict. If hot-button issues usually surface, figure out a few ways that you might rein in your reaction ahead of time. In addition, have a couple of subject-changing questions or activities planned. Lastly, hope for the best and remember there is no better time to give thanks and forgiveness to those around us, including you.

By: Diana Gutierrez, M.S.
Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
twitter.com/angryinla
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310-995-1202

Anger Management Class has huge week!

2010-11-08T08:33:00.000-08:00

Daybreak Counseling Service, the primere provider of anger management classes in Los Angeles has had a huge week.

Daybreak Counseling Service provides anger management courses in Gardena, Van Nuys, Santa Monica and Pasadena serving Los Angeles County. This past Thursday Daybreak opened its Yorba Linda office in Orange County while simutaneously adding a Thursday anger management class in its Gardena office.

After recording its biggest grossing month of the year of in October, Daybreak Counseling Service is poised to have even a bigger November. Rough estimates show that over 75 people received help in overcoming aggression and rage this week in Daybreak Counseling Service's five California offices.

In addition to its nationwide television and internet exposure Daybreak Counseling Service is in the process of taking the message of anger management throughout the nation by opening offices throughout the United States.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
twitter.com/angryinla

Accepting Resumes for anger management interns and volunteers

2010-10-14T11:06:00.000-07:00

Daybreak Counseling Service is a nationally recognized institution for anger management education. For almost a decade Daybreak has provided anger management classes and information for thousands of indviduals struggling with stress and rage. Daybreak Instructors have had opportunities to provide anger management counseling for businesses, families and on national television.

We are currently accepting resumes for anger management interns and volunteers. If you are an undergraduate student with an interest in Psychology, Education, Social Work or Family Therapy this is the perfect internship for you.

Interns will learn the 8 tools to anger management, how to market an anger management practice and vital group facilitation skills. We are now accepting resumes for the following offices: Santa Monica, Gardena, Van Nuys, Pasadena and Yorba Linda.

Please send resumes to day_breakllc@yahoo.com

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
twitter.com/angryinla
Friend us on Facebook
310-995-1202

Anger Management Class opening in Orange County

2010-10-02T07:09:00.000-07:00

Daybreak Counseling Service a nation-wdie anger management educaton center is scheduled to open an additional office in Yorba Linda, California. The 10 year company has assisted thousands of individuals manage their anger. Daybreak Counseling Service is currently located in Santa Monica, Pasadena, Van Nuys and Gardena. Due to an increase in client demand Daybreak – East will open in the month of October to service Yorba Linda and surrounding Orange County residents.

The lingering ecconomic recession continues to be a catalyst for family frustration and stress. Anger management classes help clients reduce stress, express empathy and communicate effectively.

Daybreak Counseling Service works with adult men and women, couples, teens, corporations and faith-based institutions in an effort to minimze aggression in the home and work place. The agency has been featured on several national television shows including Keeping up with the Kardashians, MTV Real World Hollywood, MSN’s Dylan Ratigan Show and E! Entertainment News.

For more information visit:
www.daybreakservices.com
twitter.com/angryinla
310-995-1202

Taking an anger maangement class? What should you expect.

2010-09-28T12:14:00.001-07:00

Many perspective anger management students are somewhat apprehensive before attending their first anger management class. They imagine biker chicks and gang members as theychain smoke in a dark room. Well in truth an anger management class is just not that dramatic. This post is written to inform you what let you know what to expect when you take your first anger management class.

Expect people just like you

Anger management classes are full of people just like you. They are mothers, fathers, sons and daughters. Anger management teachers have an opportunity to work with business owners, executives, construction workers, students, law enforcement and many more. You see the thing about anger is everybody has it and everyone can benefit from learning how to manage it. Most of our classes are representative of the community it is held in.

Enrollment and Payment

When you first enter your anger management course you will most likely meet with the instructor or receptionist. Expect to fill out a brief intake form which asks for your name, address, telephone number, court information ( if applicable) and the reason you are taking the class. The majority of the information is needed in case you need the anger management company to provide a progress or completion report for the referring source. Your anger management agency may also need to contact to inform you of class cancellations etc. You may also be asked to sign in when you arrive. This helps the instructor keep track of the number of sessions you have completed.

Most agencies require you make a class payment prior to the start of class. Anger management counseling may cost any where between $20- $50 a session. There is usually a one time registration fee also. The registration fee can range from $45 to $150.

Setting

Anger management classes can be help in public school class rooms, college auditoriums, churches, community rooms, therapy offices, or even outdoors around a camp fire. The trick is to find somewhere were you feel comfortable.

Most anger management therapy sessions are in the evenings and on weekends to accommodate working students.

Anger Management Teachers

At the time this article is being written there are no specific standard on who can teach an anger management class. There is no governing board that monitors anger management instructors. Some instructors may have a PhD in counseling or education where others may not have a high school diploma. You will find clergy, nurses, or local fitness trainer getting into anger management education but the best instructors have some experience and education in the mental health field.

Curriculum

There are thousand of workbooks, self-help article, blogs and manifestos on the subject of anger management. There is no standard curriculum presented in anger management classes through out the nation. When evaluating an anger management workbook, the best rule of thumb is to determine the education and experience of the author.

Some anger management classes are open to client interaction and deep discussion while others are more instructional. The best classes are the ones that combine the two.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
twitter.com/angryinla
angermanagementvideo.net/blog

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Anger Management Expert Sounds the Alarm on Cable News Shows

2010-08-11T12:10:00.000-07:00

Shannon Munford the owner of Dayrbeak Counseling Service was contacted by E! Entertainment News to speak on why Celebrity women take abuse for the men in their lives. He was interviewed by Ken Baker, E News correspondent about the likes of Halle Berry, Oksana, Kourtney Kardashian, and Rhianna. Mr. Munford explains that despite their beauty and fame many women don't feel worthy of a loving relationship. He states that many celebrities feel the need to hide the fact that they are in pain in an effort to protect their public persona.

The follwoing week Shannon Munford was called upon to interview with Dylan Ratigan of MSNBC to talk about America's growing rage problem. He was questioned about the Jet Blue Flight attendant who ostentatiously quit his job after a dispute with a passanger. It was noted that flight attendant has attracted a huge fan base. Such bold actions as cursing out your boss and quitting your job can cause frustrated working Americans to applaud in support, but in this ecconomy most people will not duplicate such behavior.

Shannon Munford speaks frequently on anger management as well as operating a national anger management education center. Anger Management Courses are offered daily in his comapny through out the country. He has also appeared on such reality show as Keeping up with the Kardashians and MTV Real World Hollywood.

More information can be found online at http://www.daybreakservices.com or call 310-995-1202

Anger Management Expert speaks with Ken Baker: Why Female Celebrities take domestic abuse?

2010-08-05T08:36:00.000-07:00

Shannon Munford M.A., a nationally recognized anger management expert was interviewed by E! Entertainment Coorespondent Ken Baker.

At the height of their stardom and at the pinnacle of their success many of the worlds most beautiful and powerful women have been victims of physical or verbal abuse by the hands of their significant other.

The list is like a who's who in fashion, music and movies. Halle Berry, Oksana, Rhianna, Kourtney Kardashian, Brooke Mueller.
Why would these women who appaer to have it all allow themselves to be ridiculed and abused by men. The answer to that question is found somewhere behind the glamour, behind PR machine. They don't have it all. Somewhere inside them they do not feel worthy of love, true love that is. Becuase true love does not beat you, true love does not curse you or cause you to live in fear.

Fame can be an isolating monster. You don't know who to trust and you can't relate to the common 9 to 5 Joe or soccer mom. For some of these women their only constant is the man they say they love. He is a twisted stablizing force. At least they know what to expect from him even if they expect the worst.

In most cases awareness will come but often too late. Physical injury and public embarrasment can be a shocking wake up call. The goal of any anger management practioner is to keep the client from being lulled back to sleep by their perpetrator.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
twitter.com/angryinla

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Going beyond our triggers- Your memories and it’s affect on anger management

2010-07-14T15:26:00.000-07:00

Anger is a complex emotion. Anger can be both positive and negative. It is a positive emotion when it motivates us to protect ourselves from harm and helps us defend ourselves from outside attacks. It is a natural emotion that all humans experience, whether you are, a child, teenager or an adult. What we do with this emotion is crucial to our well being. If we act out our anger and become overly aggressive with others this becomes a negative expression of our anger and can have harmful effects on our relationships and our health. However, if we are able to channel our anger in a more appropriate, adult-like response, then we are able to communicate effectively what are feelings are and set boundaries for the things that we are willing to expect and those that are unacceptable. But how do we go about learning how to become more in control of our anger?

TRIGGERS

The first step in using anger management techniques and perhaps the most important one is to understand and know what our triggers are. What makes you angry, what makes you feel disrespected, neglected, abandoned, left out, taken for granted? All of these emotions can trigger angry feelings because anger is not just one emotion; it is a family of many emotions.

IMPLICIT MEMORY

Step two in anger management is to learn to respond to others rather than react. How do we do this? We must first develop self-awareness by practicing step one but beyond that we must learn to resolve our “implicit memories.” Implicit memories are those that have been developed in early life-infancy through adolescences. These memories are deeply rooted. The implicit memory system establishes the foundation of our character. Implicit memory is made up of unconscious emotional patters that help us relate to ourselves and others. It’s the kind of memory we access without thinking.

ANGER AND YOUR BRAIN

Our emotional center of our brain is housed in the limbic system. The limbic system is composed of many parts but the most important to us, as we learn more about anger management therapy, are the amygdala and the hippocampus. The amygdala is activated by catecholamines such as adrenaline which activates our aggression. The hippocampus is where our long term memories are stored so that these two together act to stimulate our “implicit memories.” Therefore, because of implicit memory we might feel triggered by a certain person or event and not be consciously aware, at first, that we are angry but due our limbic system our pent up emotions are acted out once again. Until we are able to heal our core wound by going back and finishing what was left incomplete in our development, we run the risk of experiencing chronic and painful problems with those we love the most as well as in our professional/working environments. Healing our core wounds is how we resolve our implicit memories associated with anger, and how we begin to see the possibility of choice in our lives.

By: Diana Bonilla, M.A.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
twitter.com/angryinla
www.angermanagementvideo.net
310-995-1202

Oprah's Next Television Star

2010-05-26T15:13:00.001-07:00

Shannon Munford, the owner of Daybreak Counseling Service has thrown his hat in the ring to be Oprah's Next Television Star. Oprah and reality TV super producer Mark Burnett (SurvivorTM & The ApprenticeTM) are joining forces in search of the next big TV star.

Shannon is an anger management expert. For the last 10 years he has worked with Celebrities and CEO's to help them manage anger and aggression. Shannon is the Chief Executive Officer at Daybreak Counseling Service. He owns and operates four Los Angeles based offices that provide anger management education to families, individuals and groups.

Shannon has made television appearances on Keeping up with the Kardashian in which he worked with Kim Kardashian and Khloe Kardashian. Shannon also appeared on MTV Real World Hollywood in which he staged an anger management intervention. Some of his off camera work was with Bad Girl Club Season 3 and My Network TV Decision House.

To vote for Shannon visit the link below and vote as often as you like.

http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html?request=video_details&response_id=3482&promo_id=1

Why Choose Century Anger Management for Professional Anger Management Certification Training?

2010-05-08T11:46:00.001-07:00

If you want to become certified to teach anger management classes, what are your choices of training programs? Actually, there are numerous "models" of anger management that work well- despite the claims of some that there is only one training model that works.

Some organizations warn that if consumers are trained by anyone else but them, they are not legitimate or credible. Wouldn't it seem ridiculous that only one program in the entire world could produce a well trained anger management provider? Our course not. Consumers should make their choice of anger management training by reviewing the program content, not marketing propaganda by other organizations. Clearly there is room for various models of anger management intervention, just as there is room for varies models of psychotherapy, medicine and other interventions.

Actually, consumers should look around and pick a training model that best fits their particular clients. Following is a list of reasons why we believe the Century Anger Management Model should be strongly considered:

1. It was developed by two experienced psychotherapists, both with Ph.D. degrees, and both licensed by the state of California to practice. This is important because anger management involves an array of clinical skills, both in assessment and practice. The 40-hour training program they developed includes many modules based on their research, education, and training. This ensures the best possible background for those doing anger management individually or in classes or groups.

2. Century Anger Management is very user-friendly. We will support you during your training and after you have been certified. We answer all emails and all phone calls. We value our providers and do everything we can to keep providers current in our model of anger management. Our certification is valid for two years- with very inexpensive continuing education after that.

3. We have now trained hundreds of providers in California and elsewhere. While we can't claim that we are the biggest anger management training company yet, we are growing and we try harder. Our model is used by many large organizations such as the Salvation Army, numerous Probation Departments, military installations, and County Mental Health Systems, and approved by the CA State Board of Corrections to train probation, parole and correctional officers.

4. We offer two ways you can become certified - through Live Training or through our new home-study program. This makes it flexible and convenient for both local people and people across the country who can benefit from our model without having to fly to California to be trained.

5. Unlike most other training organizations in anger management, we offer many free resources to providers and consumers alike, to help people with their anger issues. This includes free newsletters, podcasts, articles, and other resource materials.

More information at http://www.centuryangermanagement.com/Training/tabid/56/Default.aspx

Daybreak Counseling Service is a proud user of Century Anger Management Model

www.daybreakservices.com
twitter.com/angryinla

Survery for Male Victims of Domestic Violence

2010-03-29T10:07:00.000-07:00

How're you doing? I am excited to tell you that I am conducting an Online Survey on "Help-Seeking Behaviors of Adult Men in Partner Abuse" for my Dissertation Research (see email with the link below). Since this population is hard to reach, I would like to request your assistance to distribute it widely to those who may be interested in this study. Thanks!

This is a nationwide survey using snowball sampling. Please help forward this email to service providers (working in the field of domestic violence or family relations) , your friends, and male victims/survivors to reach the participants. Target Participants are male victims/survivors of partner abuse, aged 18 or above and living in the U.S.

Greatly appreciate for your help and THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!!

Have a nice weekend!

Venus Tsui

Doctoral Candidate

Graduate College of Social Work

University of Houston

(832-755-0933)

____________________________________________

Dear Participant,

The Research Team at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work is conducting a survey on “Help-Seeking Behaviors of Adult Men in Partner Abuse”. You are being invited to be one of approximately 250 participants to participate in this survey. We would like to invite you (as participant) to complete the anonymous questionnaire via this link:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/KS9WG96

A paper survey will also be available if you have no access to a computer by indicating “paper survey” with a returned address by mail or email to Venus Tsui (see address below).

If you are a service provider working with a focus on intimate partner abuse or family relations, you are welcome to invite men who were or have been abused by their partner to participate in the survey by forwarding this email or cover letter to them. This study is IMPORTANT! We would appreciate it very much if you would post the FLYER [please click http://www.sw.uh.edu/documents/cwep/Volunteers%20Needed%20Poster.pdf] in your office and organization’s waiting area? In addition, an electronic copy of the Survey is available for your distribution upon request (see contact information below). Finally, a Resource Guide for Men in Partner Abuse is provided for your reference (please click http://www.sw.uh.edu/documents/cwep/Useful%20Resources%20for%20Adult%20Men%20in%20Partner%20Abuse.pdf and feel free to print out and use).

Please note that a cover letter is included in the survey to explain the purpose and procedures of this study. Your participation and/or assistance would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance for your participation!

Monit Cheung, PhD, LCSW, Professor,
& Venus Tsui, Doctoral Candidate
Graduate College of Social Work
University of Houston
110HA Social Work Building
Houston, TX 77204-4013, USA

1-713-743-8107 (Work); 1-713-743-8149 (FAX)

mcheung@uh.edu or www.sw.uh.edu

For any questions regarding this survey or for obtaining a paper survey, please contact the Principal Investigator, Dr. Monit Cheung, or Co-Principal Investigator, Ms. Venus Tsui, at the Graduate College of Social Work, University of Houston, at 713-743-8107, 713-743-8115 or 832-755-0933 or email at venustsf@yahoo.com.

Posted by
Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com

Change of Course (COC) Parent and Educator Training

2010-03-12T15:13:00.000-08:00

April 29th, April 30th & May 1st
8:30am- 4:30pm

Daybreak Counseling Service
183 N. Hill St. #202
Pasadena, CA 91106

Cost: $300 per day

The Change of Course adolescent and young adult for parents and educators training is an evidence based training designed to teach parents and educators effective techniques that influence delinquent behavior in youth and young adults. Shannon Munford the owner of Daybreak Counseling Service has organized this training in effort to teach parents, teachers, school counselors, correction officers, gang interventionist, and clergy proven strategies that help navigate young people toward pro-social behavior. Shannon Munford is a nationally recognized anger management expert. His work has been featured on national television programs including MTV Real World Hollywood, Keeping up with the Kardashians and locally, California State Dominguez Hills University Educational Television. Mr. Munford has over a decade of experience working with behavior challenged youth with the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services and the Los Angeles County Probation Department.

The first day of training focuses on learning a communication style that is directive and designed to illicit change in young people. Day one also includes an introduction to 8 part curriculum formulated to reduce ambivalence to change and motivate delinquent teens and young adults to make better decisions.

On day two and three of the training a tripartite cognitive behavior model will be examined. An overview of this model will introduce participants to the following techniques:

• A way of directing delinquent teens and young adults to examine their own moral compasses. This technique is designed to increase empathy for others as well as develop reasoning skills for troubled youth.

• A systematic view of anger and violence. This model explores the origins of anger and gives concrete ways in which young people can reduce verbal aggression as well as physical.

• An examination of social skill social deficits. This module introduces participants to a method of teaching basic social skills to their children, students or clients. Many young people continue to display problem behavior in school or at home because they lack basic skills such as “How to apologize” How to express feelings”, or “How to make a complaint” etc.

For more information visit www.daybreakservices.com

Telephone 310-995-1202

Anger Management and the Alcholic

2009-12-24T13:46:00.000-08:00

Daybreak Counseling Service a leader in the field of anger management education, has produces its fifth video in the animated series "Stories from the World of Anger Management". The video is entitled Anger Management and the Alcoholic.

The video details the carnage alcohol abuse can have on a nation. Shannon Munford M.A. the owner of Daybreak Counseling Service says, "Alcohol abuse is a major cause of violence and aggression. Our anger management courses are full of students who had one too many." He encourages all to please drink responsibly this holiday season.

Shannon Munford is the owner of Daybreak Counseling Service, an anger management education center in Los Angeles, California. His expertise has been invaluable to nationally televised shows such as Keeping up with the Kardashians, MTV Real World Hollywood, Oxygen’s Bad Girls Club 3 and My Network TV’s Decision House. Shannon currently has a new series in the works with the production company Screen Door Entertainment.

In addition to his work on television Shannon works with corporations, families and individuals who are need of anger and stress management.

Anger Management and the Alcoholic - The funniest bloopers are right here

For more information on anger management call 310-995-1202 or email day_breakllc@yahoo.com

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com

Anger Management course for reality star Khloe Kardashian

2009-12-21T09:01:00.000-08:00

Kim Kardashian and Khole Kardashian have had their share of publicized mishaps and subsequent interventions but when physical aggression threatened to put a riff between Kardashian family members they turned to expert anger management specialist Shannon Munford.

Anger is progressive

If you have been watching Keeping up with the Kardashians on the E Network you know that the tension between Scott Disck, (Kourtney Kardashian’s boyfriend) and the Kardashian family has been building. Things erupted last week as Khole Karsdashian slapped Scott in the face.

Stress and Anger

It is obvious Khole has been under a little stress. A whirlwind romance with Lakers forward Lamar Odom culminated in a nationally- viewed televised wedding. She is now shopping for a multi-million dollar home on a mini-million dollar budget. She has to do all this while running a bi-costal clothing company (Dash) and posing for the paparazzi.

Anger and Alcohol

Everyone should have noticed Khole had a few drinks before her altercation with Scott. If you happen to be drunk during angry confrontation you may lack the ability to reason effectively. Such confrontations generally lead into acts of aggression.

Anger is not the problem

Anger is not the problem. It is what we do when we are angry that can have grave consequences. This something Kim and Khole learned while sitting in on an anger management class at Daybreak Counseling Service. We all have a right to be angry, but physical violence should be avoided at all costs.

Shannon Munford is the owner of Daybreak Counseling Service, an anger management education center in Los Angeles, California. His expertise has been invaluable to nationally televised shows such as MTV Real World Hollywood, Oxygen’s Bad Girls Club 3 and My Network TV’s Decision House. Shannon currently has a new series in the works with the production company Screen Door Entertainment. For more information contact him at 310-995-1202 or email day_breakllc@yahoo.com.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
twitter.com/angryinLA
www.youtube.com/user/angryinla

Anger Management for teen moms- Straight out of Compton

2009-12-03T14:55:00.000-08:00

Shannon Munford M.A. the owner and founder of Daybreak Counseling Service had the opportunity to share his thoughts on anger management to the Compton Teen MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers.

The Compton Teen MOPS are made up of group of intelligent teen girls and community mentors. The group meets every Wednesday night at the Lifeline Education Charter School in Compton. Many of the mentors are members of the Faith Inspirational Missionary Baptist Church.

After an interactive dinner Mr. Munford and the Teen MOPS engaged in a controversial and sometimes humorous discussion about anger, parenting, and intimate relationships.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
twitter.com/angryinla
www.youtube.com/angryinla
310-995-1202

Anger Management Expert gets real on Reality TV

2009-10-22T09:21:00.000-07:00

For the fourth time in two years, Shannon Munford M.A. the owner of Daybreak Counseling Service was called upon to facilitate an on camera anger management class for a Reality TV super star.

The episode will appear on the "E" Network. We are currently sworn to secrecy but stay tunned to this blog for more informaiton about the show and its stars.

Shannon Munford and Daybreak Counseling Service has provided anger management services in the past for the following shows: Decision House, MTV Real World Hollywood, and Bad Girls Club 3 Season of Oxygen Network.

Mr. Munford has recently been contacted by a production company with hopes to pitch him and his anger managment expertise to BET (Black Entertainment Network) for a brand new reality show.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
www.angermanagementvideo.net
twitter.com/angryinLA

Anger outburst could land Serena Williams “in court” rather than on the court

2009-09-15T09:07:00.000-07:00

Professional Tennis can be a challenging sport. Rain delays, nagging injuries and bad calls by the line judge can bring out the worst in the best competitors. John Mcenroe one of the premiere tennis players of all time is known more by his on the court tirades than his stellar play.

The tennis world had come to expect such behavior from John but not from one of the darlings of tennis.

Serena Williams not only lost an U.S. open tennis match but she may have lost the respect of fans world wide.

After a 32 hour delay the match between Kim Clijsters and Serena Willimas was halted after the line judge called Serena for a foot fault.

Rather than making an official protest to the WTA (Womens Tennis Association) Serena sent a volley of expletives:

“I swear to God I’m fucking taking this ball and shoving it down your fucking throat…” and then after a bunch of other yelling she closed it off with a… “motherfucker.”

I’m pretty sure that’s not the best way to get your point across. In fact it is a good way to get charged with a criminal or terroist threat.

Serena’s actions were not only rude but criminal. A terroist threat is a verbal or written statement that suggests an act of bodily harm agaisnt another.

If the WTA line judge considers pressing charges, Serena Willimas could face jail time, probation or at a minimum a court ordered anger management course.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
twitter.com/angryinLA
310-995-1202

Free anger management classes for victims of the Station Fire

2009-09-08T06:42:00.000-07:00

Anger is a secondary emotion. The fear and stress of loosing property or life can trigger episodes of aggression and rage.

All those affected by the devastation of the Station Fire can be at risk of doing or saying something out of their normal character due to the extraordinary pressure cause by this disaster.

Daybreak Counseling Service an anger management center in Pasadena, California is offering 3 free sessions of anger management for residents affected by the fire. This is a service valued at $150.

If you need to manage your anger regarding the Station Fire and you live in the following cities: Tujunga, Acton, Altadena, Pasadena, Sierra Madre, Sunland, La Canada, Flintridge, or La-Crescenta. Please contact the offices of Daybreak Counseling Service at 310-995-1202.

All interested in attending these 3 free anger management classes must provide a valid identification proving you live with the fore mentioned cities.

This courtesy is offered for the entire month of September. A special class has been added Tuesday evenings at 6pm until 7pm.

For more info: Daybreak Counseling Service is located at 183 N. Hill St. #202, Pasadena California

www.daybreakservices.com

Anger Management Classes in Spanish

2009-09-02T14:06:00.000-07:00

Daybreak Counseling Service has provided anger management education and anger management classes in the city of Los Angeles for over 7 years. The company is the most widely used source for court ordered and self-referred anger management clients in the city.

Daybreak Counseling Service provides anger management courses in Gardena, Van Nuys, Long Beach, Santa Monica and Pasadena.

Beginning September 1st 2009. Daybreak Counseling Service will offer anger management classes in the Spanish language in two of it locations. The Gardena site will service the large Spanish speaking population located in Los Angeles County.

For more information visit www.daybreakservices.com

What you may not know about anger management classes in Los Angeles

2009-08-04T17:22:00.000-07:00

This article exposes the secrets of the Anger Management industry.

http://www.examiner.com/x-19036-LA-Anger-Management-Examiner~y2009m7d31-What-you-may-not-know-about-anger-management-classes-in-Los-Angeles

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
www.angermanagmentvideo.net/blog

The Angry Black Women Workshop

2009-07-29T11:43:00.000-07:00

Nakeyshaey M. Allen has invited you to the event 'Workshop on "Exploring the Angry Black Woman (ABW) Syndrome: Understanding the Stereotypes and Myths around Anger and Black Women"' on Ask the Hip-Hop Therapist™!

Check out "Workshop on "Exploring the Angry Black Woman (ABW) Syndrome: Understanding the Stereotypes and Myths around Anger and Black Women"" on Ask the Hip-Hop Therapist™

Nakeyshaey M. Allen

Time: August 26, 2009 from 9:30am to 12:30pm
Location: The Office of the Hip-Hop Therapist™
Organized By: Nakeyshaey M. Allen, The Hip-Hop Therapist™

Event Description:
Why are Black women so angry? That is a question that is often asked, but never fully answered and/or understood. Often associated with this question is "The Angry Black Woman Syndrome (ABWS)". The ABWS is described as a negative stereotype that often misrepresents Black women. It is true that an ABW can be identified by her attitude, conversation, and body language; but the myths and stereotypes associated with the ABWS often marginalizes Black women from being taken seriously.

This workshop will critically explore the ABWS, and the myths and stereotypes that are associated with it. The focus will be on the following objectives:

* To explore the emotion "anger" as it relates to Black
women.

* To review the ideology of the Angry Black Woman
Syndrome.

* To explore the myths and stereotypes associated
with anger and Black women.

* To develop coping skills and strategies for Black
women when it comes to dealing with their anger.

This workshop includes 3 CEU's for LCSWs and LMFTs. A light continental brunch will also be provided. Please register for this workshop at http://www.thehiphoptherapist.com/ClassSchedule.html. For more information about this workshop, please call the REALTalk Enterprises at 323-901-6555.

See more details and RSVP on Ask the Hip-Hop Therapist™:

http://askthehiphoptherapist.ning.com/events/event/show?id=3187322%3AEvent%3A747&xgi=dqr0rGi

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
www.twitter.com/angryinla
www.youtube.com/angryinla
310-995-1202

Visit www.facebook.com.
Search for Daybreak Counseling

BREAKTHROUGH with TONY ROBBINS

2009-07-22T16:11:00.000-07:00

BREAKTHROUGH with TONY ROBBINS

ABOUT THE SHOW

One hour alternative series.

Tony Robbins is an international star, bestselling author, philanthropist, advisor and inspirational speaker to Fortune 500 executives, sports professionals and world leaders. In Breakthrough he’ll use his extraordinary skills to help deserving individuals who have suffered terrible setbacks in their lives. Their hopes and dreams have been shattered, but now they’re ready to step up and, with Tony’s help, make the changes they so desperately need. Through tough emotional challenges, Breakthrough will inspire people to search out the tools to forever their change their lives, and to reach out and help others as well.

When you need to make a positive change. When you’re ready to step up ... it’s time to make a Breakthrough.

Incredible stories. Inspirational people. Ready for change.

For more information, application and video submission instructions go to:

http://www.nbc.com/casting

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact: Quintin Strack, Casting Director

BREAKTHROUGH with TONY ROBBINS

Straight Warf Productions

1040 N. Las Palmas Ave.

Building 40

Hollywood, CA 90038

Phone: 323-860-8612

Email: TonyRobbinsCasting@gmail.com

CASTING CALL

NBC's new series, "BREAKTHROUGH with TONY ROBBINS," led by Tony Robbins and the producers of Extreme Makeover – Home Edition and The Biggest Loser, are asking Americans to nominate extraordinary individuals who are struggling because of a tragic event or set of circumstances.

Do you know someone with an interesting story? Someone with a big heart who suffered a horrifying setback? Their hopes and dreams for the future shattered?

¨ Traumatic Change or Loss ¨ Failing Marriage or Career¨ Crises in parenting ¨

¨ OCD ¨ PTSD ¨ Overwhelming Fear ¨ Uncontrolled Behaviour ¨

¨ Fear to love ¨ Fear to confront ¨ Fear of Self ¨ Fear of a loved one ¨

Seeking help to make amends, rekindle an estranged relationship, make a big decision?

¨ Surviving a catastrophic event ¨ Life in crises ¨ Shattered dreams ¨

¨ Abandonment ¨ Betrayal ¨ Physical injury ¨ Emotionally crippled ¨

After tragic events, overcoming emotional pain, debilitating fears and physical injury may feel impossible. Moving forward takes enormous courage and incredible support, coaching and attention. Nominate someone who’s ready to get help.

Tell us their story. Tell us your story.

TO NOMINATE A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER, PLEASE SUBMIT:

CANDIDATE INFO:

Candidate name:

The event that changed their life:

Candidates (area code), phone number:

Candidates e-mail address:

NOMINATOR INFO:

Your Name:

Relationship to Candidate:

Your (area code), phone number:

Your e-mail address:

TO SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORY PLEASE SUBMIT:

Your Name:

The event that changed your life:

Your (area code), phone number:

Your e-mail address:

Please also include a few sentences about the event or problem.

Also, if available, attach a photograph of the person affected.

EMAIL RESPONSES TO: TonyRobbinsCasting@gmail.com

DEADLINES: Los Angeles, San Diego, Dallas, Philadelphia and New York

Tuesday, July 28th

For more information, application and video submission instructions go to:

http://www.nbc.com/casting

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
www.twitter.com/angryinla
www.youtube.com/angryinla
310-995-1202

Visit www.facebook.com. Search for Daybreak Counseling Service and become a fan.

Keeping up with the Joneses-Stories from the world of anger management

2009-05-28T11:38:00.000-07:00

Shannon Munford the owner of Daybreak Counseling Service produces his 3rd installment of animated anger management videos entitled Stories from the world of anger management. Keeping up with the Joneses is the story of Mohammed, an ambitious husband and father who allows the stress of getting ahead to intefere with what is really important.

Daybreak Counseling Service provides quality Anger Management Classes for those struggling with feelings of rage and stress. Daybreak Anger Management classes focus on the consequences of anger while teaching techniques to avoid violence. Effective communication, self-awareness and stress management are productive tools for preventing anger outbursts.

In our open discussion anger management classes you will learn tools to handle your anger as well as meet allies to help you deal with the pressures of life. Court ordered and self - referred clients are welcome. Anger management classes are currently held in Long Beach, Santa Monica, Gardena, Pasadena, and Van Nuys serving the Los Angeles area. We also provide nation-wide one on one telephone coaching.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
www.twitter.com/angryinla
www.youtube.com/angryinla
310-995-1202

Visit www.facebook.com.
Search for Daybreak Counseling Service and become a fan.

SEO for therapist and coaches-How I got to the top!

2009-04-22T08:16:00.000-07:00

I GOT A WEBSITE. IF I COULD DO ANYTHING DIFFERENTLY I WOULD HAVE MADE SURE MY WEBSITE HAD MY “KEYWORDS” IN THE TITLE.

• WHAT ARE KEYWORDS OR KEY PHRASES? KEYWORDS ARE WHAT THE SEARCH ENGINES ARE LOOKING FOR TO CATERGORIZE YOUR SITE. MY PRIMARY KEY WORD/PHRASE IS “ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES”

• WHAT IS A SEARCH ENGINE? A SEARCH ENGINE IS A PORTAL IN WHICH A USER INPUTS KETWORDS TO FIND A PRODUCT, SERVICE OR INFORMAITON. THE MOST POPULAR SEARCH ENGEINES ARE GOOGLE, YAHOO, AND MSN.

• ARE ALL SEARCH ENGINES CREATED EQUAL? NO. GOOGLE IS BY FAR NUMBER 1. OPTIMIZING YOUR SITE FOR GOOGLE DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN YOU ARE OPTIMIZING YOUR SITE FOR THE OTHER TWO MAJOR SEARCH ENGINES.

• THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT THING I DID AFTER GETTING A WEBSITE WAS TO START USING SPONSERED PAID SEARCH. IT TOOK ME 2-3 YEARS TO GET FROM PAGE 8 OR 9 TO PAGE ONE OF GOOGLE. IF I DID NOT USE PAID SEARCH TO NARROW THE GAP.MY BUISNESS WOULD HAVE SUNK BEFORE I HAD A CHANCE TO MAKE IT TO THE TOP.

• THE THIRD MOST IMPORTANT THING I DID WAS WATCH MY COMPETITORS. I FOUND WHO WAS AT NUMBER ONE FOR MY DESIRED KEYWORDS. THEN I GOOGLED THEIR URL AND FOUND OUT EVERYWHERE THEIR SITE WAS LISTED.

• THE FOURTH MOST IMPORTANT THING I DID WAS TO ADD CONTENT TO MY PAGE. MY HOME PAGE HAS A LOT OF CONTENT ON IT. IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE THE CLEANEST PAGE OUT THERE. REMEMBER THE INTERNET SPIDERS JUDGE YOUR SITE BY THE TYPE AND NUMBER OF WORDS AND PHRASES ON IT. THE MORE INFORMATION I HAD ABOUT “ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES” THE MORE I MOVED UP IN THE SEARCH ENGINES.

• I ADDED A BLOG. THE NUMBER ONE RULE IN SEO IS “CONTENT IS KING” A BLOG GIVES YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO ADD KEYWORDS AND KEY PHRASE UNIQUE TO YOUR INDUSTRY. I MADE ATTEMPTS TO WRITE A BLOG POST AT LEAST EVERY OTHER DAY. YOUR POSTS SHOULD BE AS UNIQUE AS POSSIBLE. STEALING ARTICLES FROM OTHER SITES MAY HELP BUT INTERNET SPIDERS LIKE NEW CONTENT. WHEN WRITING I ALWAYS KEPT IN MIND THAT I WANTED TO INFORM THE WORLD. NOT ONLY POTENTIAL CLIENTS.

• I ADDED A RESOURCE PAGE. IN THE SPIRIT OF PROVIDING INFORMATION TO MY READERS A RESOURCE PAGE ALLOWS YOU TO ADD LINKS TO OTHER SITES. LINKING TO OTHER SITE HELPS YOUR PAGE RANK MODERATELY. BUT BEING LINKED ON SOMEONE ELSES SITE CAN GREATLY HELP. LINK SHARING IS A POPULAR WAY TO SOAR IN THE SEARCH ENGINES.

• I ASKED POPULAR SITES AND BLOGS TO ADD MY URL. IF YOU ARE LINKED TO A POPULAR SITE (ESPECIALLY IF IT IS RELATED TO YOUR BUISNESS) YOUR ARE GOING TO RISE WITH THE TIDE. A POPULAR SITE HAS A PAGE RANK (PR) OF 1-3. IF INTERESTED I WILL LINK WITH YOU.

• I ADJUSTED MY METATAGS. METATAGS ARE FOUND ON THE BACK END OF YOUR SITE. THEY ARE HTML CODES USUALLY CALLED TITLE TAGS OR KEYWORD TAGS. YOUR META TAGS SHOULD MATCH THE KEYWORDS YOU THINK SEARCHERS ARE USING.

• I SUBMITTED MY SITE URL TO THE MAJOR SEARCH ENGINES.

• I TRY TO COMMENT ON THE BLOGS OF OTHER PEOPLE IN MY INDUSTRY OFTEN (ALWAYS SIGNING MY COMMENTS WITH MY BUSINESS NAME AND URL) COMMENTING ON BLOGS IS A GOOD WAY TO MEET PEOPLE IN THE INDUSTRY AND GET YOUR NAME OUT THERE. MAKE SURE YOUR COMMENTS ARE RELATIVE TO THE DISCUSSION AND DON’T GO OVER BOARD. IF YOU DO THIS IS CONSIDERED SPAMMING.

• I CREATED PRESS RELEASES. I MAKE IT A HABIT TO TRY AND PUT OUT A PRESS RELEASE ABOUT MY BUSINESS AT LEAST ONCE A QUARTER. PRESS RELEASES ARE A GOOD WAY TO RISE TO THE TOP OF THE YAHOO SEARCH ENGINE.

• I SUBMITTED ARTICLES ON MY SUBJECT. YOU CAN FIND SEVERAL ARTICE SUBMIT SITES AND WRITE ARTICLES. ALWAYS SIGN END WITH YOUR BUISNESS NAME, PHONE NUMBER, AND URL.

• I READ BOOKS ON MARKETING. THERE IS A LOT OF GOOD STUFF OUT THERE ABOUT MARKETING IN GENERAL. ONE OF MY FAVORITE WRITERS IS SETH GODIN. HE HAS A BLOG.

• I READ EVERYTHING I COULD ON SEO (SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION) ONE OF MY FAVORITE WEBSITES IS SEOCHAT.COM

• I KEEP UP WITH WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE INDUSTRY BY USING GOOLGE ALERTS. GOOGLE ALERTS IS A FREE SERVICE FROM GOOGLE. WHENEVER SOMEONE WRITES A BLOG OR ARTICLE CONTAINING YOUR “KEYWORDS” THEY WILL SEND YOU A LINK TO YOUR EMAIL.

• I UTILIZE SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE (MYSPACE, FACEBOOK, LINKEDIN, TWITTER, FRIENDSTER ETC)

• I CREATED 3-4 ALTERNATE BLOGS.

• I ADVERTISE ON CRAIGSLIST, L.A. BACKPAGE AND TOPIX.NET

Daybreak Counseling Service
Shannon Munford M.A.
www.daybreakservices.com
twitter.com/angryinla
310-995-1202

Anger Management Classes for Proposition 8 opposer.

2009-03-17T09:22:00.000-07:00

A 22 year old Torrance man was sentenced to 6 months of anger management classes on Monday. Joseph Storm pleaded no contest to the assault of proposition 8 supporter. Mr. Storm attacked the supporter with a Propostion 8 rally sign in addition to striking the supporter.

Proposition 8 was the controversal California measure that sought to terminate the rights of Gays and Lesbians to marry.

The Torrance Court which is located in Los Angeles County ordered the perpetrator to 7 days in jail, a six month anger management course, 100 hours of community service and 3 years probation.

Daybreak Counseling Service a Court approved anger management education center in Los Angeles County serves the South Bay and Torrance area through it Gardena location.

Chris Brown checks in to an anger management class

2009-02-26T07:13:00.000-08:00

Reports are coming out that 19 year old R&B singer Chris Brown is now taking anger management classes after an alleged assualt of his 21 year old girl friend Rhianna. Rhianna is also a popular singer/entertainer.

TMZ magazine recently leaked photos of Rhianna's batterd face online and the news frenzy continues.

I recently posted an article about motivation and anger management. In this article I discussed how internal motivation can cause someone to seek help regarding there anger. Internal motivation includes feelings such as "I can do better" or "I'm tired of living my life in anger"

There is some speculation that Chris Brown is only taking an anger management class as a Public Relation measure. Others say he is in an anger management course because he got caught. If these statement are true Chris is motivated by external motivations. The fear of jail time, loss of income and even the dissapointment of a love one can cause an individual to seek help. The important thing is that he is seeking help. No wrong can come from his involvement in anger management classes. It may be important for Rhianna to consider seeking professional help herself.

Daybreak Counseling Service
Shannon Munford
www.daybreakservices.com

Los Angeles County Superior Courts continue to make orders to quality anger management providers.

2009-02-18T11:59:00.000-08:00

Los Angeles County Superior Courts continue to make orders to quality anger management providers. Anger management classes have become a staple intervention for individuals convicted of a variety of law violations. Such violations include: terrorist threats, racial attacks, assualts, weapons charges, resisting arrest, property damage, noise pollution and child abuse.

Defendants ordered to an anger management course can be required to attend between 10 and 52 sessions.

In addition to the criminal court many family and custody courts are requiring parents to attend a anger management class. Parents can learn effective communication skills, stress management techniques, and obtain greater emotional intelligence.

A variety of Public Defenders and private attorneys advise cleints to take an anger management class prior to a court appearance.

Daybreak Counseling Service has provided anger management certification for the following courts: San Bernadino, Orange County, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Riverside, Sacramento, Colorado and Louisiana

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202

Human Resource managers rely on anger management classes for employees

2009-02-17T06:51:00.000-08:00

Anger management education centers continue to thrive in the weakend economy.

Anger management classes are a valued resource to struggling communities. In times of hardship and sacrafice individuals can often feel the pressure of making ends meet. This pressure is often expressed in verbal and even physical aggression.

Anger management providers continue to have a steady stream of clients from three prominent sources. These sources include the court system, troubled families and human resource departments.

Human Resource Departments from large to midsize companies find themselves at a loss when dealing with aggressive managers and frontline staff. Many valuable employees lack communication skills or can crack when pressured. These employees may also be company “rainmakers”, bringing in large sums of money into the organization. Management staff are hesitant to fire profit making employees in turbulent times.

An anger management course is an excellent way for companies to train staff in effective communication and stress management. Anger management classes also allows human resource managers a way to protectr the companies assessts in case an employee causes emotional or physical damage because of his or her anger.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202

Anger Management Center produces second animated short film

2009-02-11T13:29:00.000-08:00

Daybreak Counseling Service an innovator in the field of anger management produces its second animated short film entitled “Tweeker-Stories from the World of Anger Management.

Daybreak Counseling Service continues to use cutting edge media to teach principles of anger management as well as inspiring change.

Tweeker is the story of Sandra a young lady addicted to crystal meth. Sandra is ordered to complete 52-week of anger management class. Her instructor Shannon Munford chronicles her struggle with staying sober.

The film is written by Shannon Munford M.A. and animated and directed by Mark Ramirez an animator for the Fox series, Futurama.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202

Amber M. of The Bad Girls Club Season 3 talks anger management

2009-02-03T10:38:00.001-08:00

Shannon Munford M.A. the owner of Daybreak Counseling Service chats with Amber M. of Oxygen’s Bad Girls Club Season 3 about the secret anger management class performed at the Bad Girls Club mansion.

Shannon:

Hi Amber,

Sorry about the Cardinals…I am a big time Kurt Warner fan.
Anyway I was wondering if you could share with me a few thoughts about what you thougt about the anger management session we had right after the fight. Do you think they were helpful? Why do you think the producers cut it out?

Amber:

Hi Shannon,

It’s all good. Yeah Kurt Warner is a good guy and I wish they would have won. They played a good game though. I am so glad they came back before they finally fell.

Honestly after the fight I was really angry to be in anger managment. I was frustrated because Kayla was drunk and making it all about herself. Although that probably was a good thing. I guess I got irritated when Kayla was talking about how that was the way she is and she wasn’t going to change. But then she agreed with everything you were telling us.

I wish it would’ve helped us in the house but things only got worse. We still acted like wild animals and didn’t take any of it to heart(I wish we would’ve) I guess the problem probably lies in us not asking to take the class but getting told to take it. When you don’t think you have a problem how are you going to really listen and internalize someone else trying to help you.

Each day in the house I got more and more angry and behaved worse and worse. I think all the girls in the house are guilty of that. In the end the producers helped us self-reflect and realize some of our issues and we didn’t end on a horrible note but we sure didn’t do it on our own.

I think the producers cut it out because they wanted the footage to look like Kayla left the night of the fight and because of me. They can’t show us in anger management the next day with Kayla because she would’ve already left. Maybe they didn’t show it because if they did we would all look like more of an ass because someone actually pointed out our bad behavior and we still acted like angry bitches.

What do you think?

Shannon:

I think sometimes watching people hurt makes better T.V. than watching people heal.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
http://myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202

Anger Management Expert, Shannon Munford Launches An Online Anger Management Video Arcade

2009-01-02T08:19:00.000-08:00

Shannon Munford M.A. has launched a new online anger management resource center. angermanagementvideo.net is an online video arcade for all things anger management. Videos range from the comedic to the academic. The website will offer a variety of anger management books, links and videos.

Mr. Munford created the website in an effort to amalgamate the numerous anger management providers, curriculums and ideas on the internet. Shannon Munford is the most visible provider of anger management in the nation. He and his representatives have appeared on national television shows such as Decision House, and MTV’s Real World Hollywood. He is the producer of the popular online game Lava Flow-The anger management game.

Mr. Munford invites anger management academics to share there knowledge and experience with one another and the community by submitting videos and articles to angermanagementvideo.net.

About Daybreak Counseling Service

Shannon Munford is the founder of Daybreak Counseling Service. He holds a Masters Degree in Marriage Family Therapy and is an expert in the field of anger management. Mr. Munford is a corporate consultant and has been a speaker at California State University Dominguez Hills. He is the owner of the popular blog Angry in L.A. For information about his anger management courses, or one on one individual sessions please visit http://www.daybreakservices.com
To view a variety of anger management videos visit http://www.angermanagementvideo.net

Daybreak Anger Management Classes 2008 Year-end review

2008-12-19T15:03:00.001-08:00

2008 has been a break out year for Daybreak Counseling Service.

Some of the highligts in the field of anger management are below:

-Daybreak Counseling Service adopts the Century Anger Management Curriculum.

-Daybreak Counseling Service adds its fifth anger management education center in the city of Long Beach.

-Shannon Munford M.A. the owner of Daybreak Counseling Service appears on live television in the California State Dominguez Hills University studio to field questions on the subject of anger management.

-Shannon Munford M.A. appears on MTV’s Real World Hollywood to provide one on one anger management courses for house mates.

-Daybreak Counseling Service agrees to 24 week contract with Miriam’s House, a sober living home for women and children in Culver City California.

-Daybreak Counseling Service produces animated video series “Stories from the world of anger management”

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla

Anger Management Center receives record website hits

2008-11-25T10:08:00.000-08:00

October 2008 Daybreak Counseling Service posted a record amount of website hits. 137635 vistiors received vital information regarding anger management classes and resources.

The Daybreak Counseling Service website houses numerous articles on the subject of anger management. The website acts as a web-resource directory for anger management providers, substance abuse, parenting, teen delinquency, marriage counseling and more.

It also offers an interactive flash game quiz called Lava Flow-The Anger Management Game.

The website contains an informative blog equipped with videos and insightful stories from the world of anger management.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
310-995-1202

Anger Management and the Serenity Prayer

2008-11-18T14:19:00.000-08:00

God grant me the serenity….

The invocation of a higher power is the most humbling of statements. It allows the speaker to release responsibility and the need to control. In many ways anger is the antethisis of serenity.

to accept the things I cannot change…..

Unmet expectations are often a problem for those with anger management issues. We who are angry find it difficult to accpet that we can not change situations and other people. We often resort to physical violence or verbal aggression when we do not get what we want.

the courage to change the things I can….

What you can change is how you manage your own anger. This takes courage because it involves commitment and the ability to face your short comings with humility.

and the wisdom to know the difference……

The gift of controlling your anger is the ability to think through problem situations in your life rather than acting on them. This is fact is the building blocks of wisdom.

Daybreak Counseling Service
Shannon Munford M.A.
www.daybreakservices.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
http://myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202

Anger Management Education Center produces animated short stories

2008-11-10T10:29:00.000-08:00

Daybreak Counseling Service an innovator in the field of anger management produces its first animated short story entitled “Stories from the World of Anger Management-Anger and the ATM.

Daybreak Counseling Service continues to use new media to teach principles of anger management as well as inspiring change. The Los Angeles based agency is also the producer of Lava Flow-The anger management game, a flash game quiz that teaches clients about anger management techniques.

Shannon Munford the owner of Daybreak has been featured on popular television shows such as MTV Real World Hollywood and Decision House. His unique presentation of life changing truths has gathered nation-wide attention. His agency continues to provide anger management classes in Los Angeles and surrounding areas and the Daybreak Counseling Service website is a information hub for those seeking answers about the field of anger Management

Watch Anger and the ATM

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=45813985

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com

Barack Obama-Cool as the other side of a pillow.

2008-11-05T18:38:00.000-08:00

Daybreak Counseling Service would like to take this opportunity to congratulate Barack Obama the 44th President of The United States of America.

Throughout his campaign Barack has exhibited poise and grace under pressure. During his epic battle with Hillary Clinton until his victory over Senator McCain Barack Obama has managed his frustrations, and his anger in front of the world's stage.

As the owner of serveral anger management education centers and the father of two african-american boys (ages 7 and 3) I am grateful my sons have a vision of what they can be and proud to call Barack Obama my President.

Daybreak Counseling Service
Shannon Munford
www.daybreakservices.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
http://myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202

Study Links Violent Video Games, Hostility

2008-11-03T11:52:00.000-08:00

Children and teenagers who play violent video games show increased physical aggression months afterward, according to new research that adds another layer of evidence to the continuing debate over the video-game habits of the youngest generation.

The research, published today in the journal Pediatrics, brings together three longitudinal studies, one from the United States and two from Japan, examining the content of games, how often they are played and aggressive behaviors later in a school year.

The U.S. research was the first in the nation to look at the effects of violent video games over time, said lead author Craig A. Anderson, a psychology professor at Iowa State University and director of its Center for the Study of Violence.

Anderson said the collaboration with Japanese researchers was particularly telling because video games are popular there and crime and aggression are less prevalent. Some gamers have cited Japan's example as evidence that violent games are not harmful.

Yet the studies produced similar findings in both countries, Anderson said. "When you find consistent effects across two very different cultures, you're looking at a pretty powerful phenomenon," he said. "One can no longer claim this is somehow a uniquely American phenomenon. This is a general phenomenon that occurs across cultures."

The study in the United States showed an increased likelihood of getting into a fight at school or being identified by a teacher or peer as being physically aggressive five to six months later in the same school year. It focused on 364 children ages 9 to 12 in Minnesota and was first included in a 2007 book, "Violent Video Game Effects on Children and Adolescents."

Japanese researchers studied more than 1,200 Japanese youths ages 12 to 18. In all three studies, researchers accounted for gender and previous aggressiveness.

"We now have conclusive evidence that playing violent video games has harmful effects on children and adolescents," Anderson said.

The American Academy of Pediatrics, which publishes the journal in which the study appears this month, is in the process of revising its recommendations on media violence, and expects to issue a new statement in four to six months, a spokeswoman said. The academy now recognizes violence in media as a significant health risk to children and adolescents and recommends limiting screen time including television, computers and video games to one to two hours a day.

For many parents, the latest research was unsettling, though not surprising.

Patricia Daumas, 50, a single mother of two in Reston, said she sometimes wonders about her decision to allow her sons, ages 8 and 11, to play war games. But like many parents, she sees the issue as complex. She does not allow her sons to play games rated "mature."

"I don't think the games are good for them," she said, "but what I'm seeing in my own children is that they're still very gentle, that they're very caring, and they have absolutely no behavior problems at school."

Daumas noted that many of her sons' friends play the games. "It's a tough balancing act," she said.

Tracey Goldman, 42, a mother of two in Takoma Park, said she enforces time limits on video-game playing and does not allow violent content. Her fourth-grader plays Lego Star Wars, she said, but otherwise, "I just feel very uneasy about letting him play those kinds of games."

Still, she said, monitoring game-time can require vigilance because children can find games on Internet sites. She recalled looking over her son's shoulder as he played at a computer, asking: "Wait a minute. Is that shooting people?"

Parents have debated the potentially harmful effects of video-game violence for most of the last two decades, as the games have become more popular and more graphic. In the new research, games were deemed violent when one character harmed or killed another.

Still, not all video games are violent or associated with such negative effects, said Joseph Kahne of Mills College in Oakland, Calif., coauthor of a recent video-gaming study by the Pew Internet & American Life Project.

The Pew study, based on a poll of 1,102 youths ages 12 to 17, found that most teenagers play many different kinds of games and that some types of play -- such as making decisions about how to run a city -- are correlated with more political or civic involvement.

Overall, Kahne said, "it's important to pay attention to the nature of the games and the sense that kids make of the experience."

Although the longitudinal studies reported in Anderson's study showed that frequent playing of violent video games leads to greater aggression, Anderson also said this message should be understood in the larger context of a child's life.

"A healthy, normal, nonviolent child or adolescent who has no other risk factors for high aggression or violence is not going to become a school shooter simply because they play five hours or 10 hours a week of these violent video games," he said.

Extreme forms of violence, Anderson said, "almost always occur when there is a convergence of multiple risk factors."

A U.S. surgeon general report in 2001 identified an array of those risk factors, including gang involvement, antisocial parents and peers, substance abuse, poverty and media violence. Males are more at risk.

The new study noted that video games are played in 90 percent of American homes with children ages 8 to 16 and that the U.S. average playing time of four hours a week in the late 1980s is now up to 13 hours a week, with boys averaging 16 to 18 hours a week.

Daybreak Counseling Service
Lava Flow-The Anger Management Game
www.daybreakservices.com
www.daybreakservices.com/games/lava/index.html

Anger Management Center extends hours in local office.

2008-10-29T17:17:00.000-07:00

Daybreak Counseling Service a major provider of anger management classes in the Los Angeles area is extending its hours in its Pasadena location. Anger management courses will now be offered every Tuesday from 6pm-8pm and Saturdays from 9am- 3pm.

The move to extend hours was prompted by an increase of clients enrolling in the Tuesday evening class. In an effort to make room for additional clients Daybreak Counseling Service hopes some clients will make the choice to attend a class from 6pm to 7pm and others from 7pm to 8pm.

Daybreak Counseling Service offers anger management classes in Gardena, Santa Monica, Pasadena, Van nuys and Long Beach. They also offer one on one executive coaching and corporate seminars.

www.daybreakservices.com
310-995-1202

Recession brings a rise in referrals for anger management agency

2008-10-21T16:26:00.000-07:00

Daybreak Counseling Service a private anger management consulting frim in Los Angeles has seen a rise in referrals from corporations in the area.

Daybreak Counseling Service has received a dozen contacts in October from human resource departments, CEO's and managers from companies looking for ways to manage stress and anger.

High profile managers and cheif executive officers are opting to particpate in the Executive Coaching anger management program at Daybreak Counseling Service while front line staff are being directed to one of five anger management groups located in Gardena, Van Nuys, Pasadena, Long Beach or Santa Monica.

Participating companies include those who are involved in the industrial industry, law firms, education, goverment and sales.

Anger management classes teach effective communication skills as well as stress management techniques. Valued employees can benefit from anger management courses when termination is not desired.

Classes are offered 6 days a week in one of our Los Angeles County offices.

For more information contact one of our representatives at
310-995-1202

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com

Location, Location, Location

2008-10-14T15:46:00.000-07:00

Our angergement classes are held evenings and weekends. We have five locations to serve you. After registering with Daybreak Counseling Service you are welcome to attend any of our five locations. If you find yourself outside of your local area just drop in to one of our other anger management offices. Each office has its own personality while teaching the same quality course work. Visiting other offices gives you the opportunity to connect with others. Or you can settle in to one location for a familiar comforting education experience. For an appointment please contact us at 310-995-1202.
Email: info@daybreakservices.com

Locations

Daybreak-West
1117 Gardena Blvd., Suite 206
Gardena, California 90247
310-995-1202

Santa Monica Office

3301 Ocean Park Blvd. #111
Santa Monica, California 90405
310-995-1202

Daybreak-North

Pasadena Office
183 N. Hill Ave., Ste. 202
Pasadena, California 91106
310-995-1202

Van Nuys Office
14416 Hamlin Street #107
Van Nuys, California 91401
310-995-1202

Daybreak-South
4000 Long Beach Blvd. #216
Long Beach, California 90807
310-995-1202

Daybreak Counseling Service

Register Now

Anger mangement agency contract renewed by recovery foundation.

2008-10-04T12:48:00.000-07:00

Miriam’s House a sober living home for women and children has renewed its contract with Daybreak Counseling Service. Miriam’s House, is a 15 bedroom converted convent located in Culver City, California. It is a recovery home for mothers and a refuge for children to escape chaos and instability. The yearlong program nurtures the individual needs of both mother and child while fostering the healing process of fractured families.

Daybreak Counseling Service a nationally recognized center for anger management successfully administered a 12 week anger management course for residents at Miriam’s House. The course focused on effective communication, stress management, and forgiveness with a special emphasis on managing parental anger.

Staff and residents at Miriam’s House have described the anger management classes as a stabilizing force in the facility and the lives of its residents. Consequently, Miriam’s House’s current Director has requested 12 more weeks of programming for their clients.

Daybreak Counseling Service continues to provide anger management courses for couples, adolescents and individuals in Los Angeles and surrounding cities including: Gardena, Pasadena, Santa Monica, Long Beach and Van Nuys.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
http://myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202

Anger Management Techniques-Living in the mess you made

2008-09-12T14:01:00.001-07:00

If you are like most of us your anger has caused a great deal of pain in loved ones and friends. Our immediate reaction is to feel some guilt for hurting the people closet to us, but all to often we absolve ourselves to quickly. We gives ourselves a pass and blame it on the stress of the day or even criticize the victim for making us angry. We forgive ourselves and expect others to forgive us.

When we fail to live in the mess we make we have a tendency to minimize our behavior. We don’t give ourselves the opportunity to really look at the person we have become and the damage we have caused.

I am not suggesting you become a masochist. I don’t expect you to consistently hit yourself over the head with your own mistakes, but you should “think the anger through.” Concentrate on how your anger has caused you problems in your life. Allow yourself to remain in your guilt a little longer.

One of the major problems for people with anger management issues is that they are not in touch with their feelings. Allowing yourself to feel your own guilt builds the capacity for empathy. When you begin to connect with the feelings of others you are less likely to hurt them.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
http://myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202

Anger is Reality

2008-08-29T08:20:00.000-07:00

For the third time the experts at Daybreak Counseling Service have been called in to provide anger management courses before a nation wide telvision audience. Shannon Munford the owner of Daybreak Counseling Service was contacted by a popular reality based television program to provide an emergency anger mangement class to its particpants. The intervention was video taped and will be broadcasted within thenear future.

This is Mr. Munford's 4th television appearance. He has provided anger management education locally on the Cal State Univeristy Dominguez Hills cable network. In addition Daybreak Counseling Service staff has provided anger management coaching on such television shows as MTV Real World Hollywood, and My Network Telvision Decision House.

To contact a representative please call or visit the following links:

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
http://myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202

Anger management Classes with a personal touch

2008-07-12T07:39:00.001-07:00

Daybreak Counseling Service a leader in anger management courses has provided anger management education in Los Angeles for the last six years. Daybreak Counseling Service is well known for its excellent customer service to its anger management clients and referring sources. When you call Daybreak you don't get a message service or a secretary you talk to the founder himself.

Shannon Munford MA the owner of Daybreak takes pride in communicating directly with concerned clients and the individuals that refer them. At Daybreak we understand that anger effects individuals and companies on a personal level. Clients have questions and we have the answers.

Daybreak offers anger management courses in five locations to serve the Los angeles area. These locations include: Gardena, Long Beach, Santa Monica, Pasadena and Van Nuys. Classes are offered on weekends and evenings. Classes inculed group sessions as well as one on one individual session. For those who are under time constraints Daybreak Counseling Service offers 6 hour accelerated weekend classes.

In addition Daybreak Counseling Service provides an extensive resource directory on its website. If Daybreak can't help you, we know someone who can.

Daybreak Counseling Service has the simple goal of helping families, corporations and organizations solve problems of anger and aggression. We make every effort to get what you need by offering nation-wide telephone coaching or getting a progress report to you at a moments notice. (Fax, email, and on some occassions personal delivery)

When Human Resource Managers, Social Workers, Probation Officers, Attorneys and Community members think anger management they think Daybreak Counseling Service.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202

2008-06-26T08:29:00.000-07:00

By Gregory Kyles, LPC, CEAP, CAMF http://www.ami-tx.com

Do you experience extreme feelings of frustration? Do you see red when something doesn’t go your way? Do you get aggressive and agitated easily? Well, if the answer is yes then you are a potential candidate for anger management classes.

Anger can manifest itself in numerous ways. Crimes of passion take place because people act impulsively when faced with nerve-racking situations. When you’re angry you lose control of the situation. When you lose control you do things that you normally wouldn’t do and may regret later. People experience anger in varying degrees. While some people repress their anger and deal with it later, others react immediately and vent their frustration on the first thing they come across. Both are potentially dangerous ways to deal with anger. If anger is repressed, a person may get sulky, moody and withdrawn. On the other hand, those who react immediately may use expletives and even resort to physical violence. Repressed anger is sometimes more dangerous than anger that is expressed. This is because pent up emotions can cause nervous breakdowns and lead to sudden disconnected acts of violence much after the incident that caused the anger in the first place occurred.

Every individual comes face-to-face with problems that seem larger than life. This culminates in feelings of helplessness and frustration at the workplace. Organizations and therapists are exploring Anger Management as a means to increase productivity and promote harmony at all levels of the hierarchy. Generally, stress and anger is more visible among line and field employees as compared to middle and upper management levels. Relationships between a husband and wife can also get strained on account of physical and verbal abuse. Abusive relationships are often symptoms of mismanaged anger and dissatisfaction. Anger Management seeks to recognize and control misplaced anger.

Many therapists have begun Anger Management Classes to help people let go of their anger and lead quality lives. These classes should be overseen by Certified Anger Management professionals who teach people certain techniques for controlling and regulating anger and fear.

Effective anger management classes should cover four topics:
• Anger Management
• Stress Management
• Assertive Communication
• Emotional Intelligence

The classes are generally conducted with a group of people who experience similar behavioral disorders. Group activities help prevent feelings of intimidation and discomfiture. If anger gets the better of you, it is to your advantage to enroll in an anger management class. It may just be the turning point in your life.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202

Anger Management Providers should brace themselves for an influx of clients

2008-06-24T10:25:00.000-07:00

The California State Prison Authority is making plans to release approximately 25,000 low risk convicts from jail over the next three years. Jail overcrowding and an overwhelming budget crisis has forced judges and state referrees to consider returning prisoners to the communites early. This means Los Angeles County will receive the majority share of the prison population, eqaulling 8,500 ex-cons.

In the past parolees were released with conditions of parole including the order to complete anger management classes. In some instances parolees were given State issued checks to pay for such services. Some anger management providers have reported not being able to cash the state checks due to insufficient funds.

It stands to reason that newly released parolees will be ordered to receive rehabilitation services within the local community. For most of these parolees anger management is an area of concern. Local probation offices will have the burden of supervising the former inmates and monitoring there compliance with court ordered conditions.

Los Angeles County is not exempt from the nation-wide financial strain, and therefore its probation department can not provide all the needed services for offenders. Many offenders will be forced to find anger management providers within their community to avoid returning to prison.

Daybreak Counseling Service a court approved anger management education center serves five specifc communities in the Los Angeles area. Daybreak staff is preparing to receive an influx of new clients to their already crowded classes. Preparation includes talk of opening more offices or providing more frequent weekly anger management courses.

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Daybreak Comes to Miriam's House

2008-06-09T11:37:00.000-07:00

Miriam’s House is a 15 Bedroom, sober living transitional living home for women and children. It is a supported by the Promises Foundation. The 1- year program is designed to provide women and their children with a nurturing and safe environment to grow. Growth takes sunlight and Daybreak Counseling Service has contracted with Miriam’s house to provide comprehensive anger management education.

Daybreak Counseling Service provides bi-weekly anger management classes at Miriam’s house for its residents.

Anger management courses are beneficial in healing the wounds of abuse as well as interrupting the cycle of family and community violence.

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Anger Management Center Hits MTV-The Real World Hollywood

2008-05-27T11:37:00.000-07:00

After weeks of strained relationships, built up tension, alcohol consumption and property damage. MTV executives at the Real World-Hollywood contact Shannon Munford the owner of Daybreak Counseling Service to provide a one on one anger management course for Dave Sky, Real World boy next door.

Watch Video Here

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The Starfish Parable

2008-05-07T12:23:00.000-07:00

By Susan Levy

Once upon a time there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So, he began to walk faster to catch up. As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn’t dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the sand, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean. As he got closer he called out “Good morning! What are you doing?” The young man paused, looked up and replied ”Throwing starfish in the ocean.” “I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” “The sun is up and the tide is out. And, if I don’t throw them in, they’ll die. “But young man, don’t you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it. You can’t possibly make a difference!” The young man listened politely. Then he bent down. Picked another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves and said “It made a difference for that one.”

I read this many years ago and never forgot it. When I think of it and replace the starfish with a fellow human being, it speaks to me of kindness and empathy. It reminds me that I can make a difference in this world if I choose to.

If I can “get out of myself”, I am able to see more than my own limited perspective of any situation. I found this to be immeasurably useful in managing my anger.

If I am cut off by another driver, bumped into by a fellow shopper or snapped at by a coworker, I can pause and consider. Perhaps that person just lost a loved one. Could they be going through a painful divorce? Did they just lose their job? It definitely helps me to control the use of my anger when I pause to consider the other person’s point of view (empathize). It only takes a moment and can save a moment, a relationship or a life.

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A New Map

2008-04-21T13:50:00.000-07:00

By Susan Levy

Most of us humans meander through life following the map their parents created for them. They often don’t pause or take the time and effort to appraise themselves to see if old thoughts and behaviors are still working for them working or against them.
Why? Because the thing that we are most afraid of and resistant to is “change”. Change can be awkward and uncomfortable – sometimes terrifying and emotionally painful. The most addicting thing of all is “familiarity”. We all love our comfort zone. It feels safe and it takes a lot less work to follow our original “map” then to look at ourselves and take stock of how well it is working for us. It has been said that “Most people die without ever knowing who they are”. We live on “automatic pilot” But, at what cost? We stay in the same airplane, viewing the same sights over and over and having the same experience repeatedly. We don’t learn anything new. We don’t grow. We don’t evolve into the best people we can be. Worst of all, until we are willing to look inside ourselves, we stay stuck in our old beliefs, thoughts and behaviors despite the reality that they may not be working anymore, or indeed are hampering our true happiness.

In many ways our fear of the unknown terrifies us into living life by “rote”. We stick to our beliefs and our world view and miss the incredible excitement and feeling of well being that comes from growing, learning new things and exploring. I think a lot of us would actually choose to take the risk of change, but don’t because they don’t know they are stuck in the terrain of their parents’ map.

If we do become “aware” (the key word) of this phenomenon at all it is almost always because we hit a wall with our old views. We suffer what is the only thing that makes people even contemplate change: “consequences”. We live in a rut, decorate it, and live unaware and sometimes smugly in our unchanging world – that is until we suffer a consequence of our old ways that is unacceptable to us. It takes enormous courage and willingness to examine ourselves, but nothing changes if nothing changes.

Over the years, for example, friends may have pointed out to you that the way you express anger is scary and they feel brutalized. You say:” That’s the way I’ve always been” or “That’s the way my dad was – if it was good enough for him, it’s good enough for me.”
We might keep losing important relationships due to our unrealistic expectations we’ve been taught (old map) or developed. We are unaware of our part in it and say: “Men are all jerks” or “I never met a woman I could trust”.

Worst, our anger or resentments might continuously become the cause of sabotaging loving relationships, estrangement from family, or trouble with the law. We may have become hostages to confusion or fears or low self-esteem. We know our life is not working, but we don’t know why.

Whether you’ve made a decision to become more enlightened or have experienced hurtful or harmful consequences of your behaviors, there is a solution.

CREATE A NEW MAP. Create it based on your own needs and experiences and dreams.You deserve to follow your personal guide that works best for you and, even though you don’t believe you have the capacity to do this because of unawareness or fear. You can do it.

I know you can, because I did it. Take out a sheet of paper or do it online – Start the map from where you are right now in your life. Then draw on it the kinds of experiences you want to have – you get to choose the way and the destination. Certainly thank your parents for their map which helped you survive in your family of origin, then take the controls of your airplane.
We are not victims. We are responsible for our happiness. And whether it’s an epiphany or a jail cell that causes you to be willing to change, you can decide at any moment to create, love and travel through the years with your personal journey mapped out by you.

Susan Levy is an anger management professional at Daybreak Counseling Service. Susan teaches Anger Management Classes at Daybreak -West, Santa Monica Office.

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South Carolina teachers model poor anger management skills

2008-03-24T09:20:00.000-07:00

Tawana Horton and Cabrella Pickney were involved in a physical altercation in their South Carolina 8th grade hallway. The problem is both ladies are nearly 30 years old and they are teachers.

The two teachers at St Anderws Middle School began to "mix it up" between class periods after bumping into each other.

It was reported that the two teachers had "beef" for some time and let their unmanaged anger get the best of them.

Horton and Pickney were arrested for disturbing school and booked into a Detention Center. Both teachers have been released on a $5,000 personal recognizance bond.

Karen York, a school district spokeswoman would not discuss any specific disciplinary action taken against the teachers, hopefully an anger management class is in their future.

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Anger Management Classes for Austin, Texas Mayor?

2008-03-06T19:29:00.000-08:00

Mayor Will Wynn speaks out Thursday for the first time since Travis County prosecutors charged him with assaulting another man.

The Austin mayor has to decide between anger management counseling or community service to remove the charge from his record.

The mayor answered tough questions at City Hall Thursday.

Wynn started by saying he was embarrassed but after he read a prepared statement, he acknowledged that sometimes his anger can be a problem.

While Wynn would not go into the case specifics from the incident in March 2006, he is apologizing.

Luke Johnson claimed Wynn became angry with him, escorted him outside the Austin City Lofts' courtyard, slapped and choked him.

"Ultimately, legally the minute I touched Mr. Johnson, I crossed the line," said Wynn.

By agreeing to the no-contest plea, Wynn will either complete 20 hours of community service or attend anger-management counseling.

It's counseling that the mayor values.

"Fact is, I've been in counseling since even before the incident. I value it. It helps me, and regardless of the technicalities of that, I suspect I'll continue counseling in different forms and formats," said Wynn.

According to witnesses who were at the loft party in March, Wynn appeared intoxicated.

He said anger, not alcohol, was the issue.

"No, I do not have a drinking problem. I believe I drink responsibly. I can get angry, and again in this case, it clearly caused a problem," said Wynn.

Below is a comment from Wynn regarding the charge: "I pled no contest to a Class C misdemeanor from 2006. I'm glad that this process has been resolved, and I of course will comply with the judge's order and have this charge dismissed."

The charge takes some people back to October, when the mayor lost his temper with a construction worker who was blocking traffic.

Wynn said the most recent bump in the road is nothing like the assault charge.

"I really think they're completely different set of circumstances. This case has troubled me. Frankly, the construction deal didn't. I mean, I apologized. I guess I apologize a lot," said Wynn.

Wynn said if at any time he felt like he could not perform his duties as mayor, he would quit.

After answering questions Thursday morning, he apologized to other city council members at the city council meeting Thursday.

Wynn will have to complete the 20 hours of community service or attend the anger management counseling before May 2.

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Anger Management Expert Part I-Interview with Shannon Munford

2008-03-06T08:51:00.001-08:00

Shannon Munford, the owner and founder of Daybreak Counseling Service speaks about the origin of Daybreak Counseling Service, how death, dying and anger are central components in gang violence and the basics of anger management education.

Shannon Munford-Anger Management Expert

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Pit Bulls and Angry People have the same DNA

2008-02-14T09:23:00.000-08:00

One of the greatest needs individuals have is the need to feel safe. Safety is so important that we often relinquish our individual rights and freedoms, in an attempt to satisfy this need. An example of this is how easily the Patriot Act was passed following the 911 attacks.

Many of us choose where we live with safety in mind. For years I have felt that I lived in a fairly safe neighborhood, that is until a few weeks ago. Around 4 o’clock, one afternoon, my neighbor left me a frantic message. As I listened to her message I immediately knew that my children might be in danger. I called to my son, and daughter to find out where they were. My daughter yelled, “I’m in my room dad”. At that moment my son came flying through the back door. He shouted, “Someone is shooting a gun on our neighbor’s property.” He was by their fence when he heard the gunshot.

Our neighbors had arrived home a few minutes earlier, just in time to witness the conclusion of a life and death struggle between their Ginny (donkey) and two pit bulls. As the man got out of his car one the dogs lunged at him. He barely made it into his house. He grabbed a gun and took a shot. That was the gunshot that my son heard.

No one seems to know where the killer dogs came from, and they have not been seen since. I shudder to think what would have happened to my son if he had encountered them. Since the killing of the donkey my family has been very nervous about spending time outside. This fear has to do with the fact that the dogs have not been found.

Pit Bulls are known for their vicious attacks. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports that from 1979-1998 ninety-eight deaths were caused by pit bulls in the United States. Most owners of pit bulls will swear up and down that their pet is very loving, and would never attack anyone. This is where the danger lies. It is the unpredictability of the attack that makes them dangerous.

In many ways a person who is prone to sudden eruptions of anger is like a pit bull. It is as though they share the same DNA. Just like pit bulls, it is often difficult to anticipate what will set them off. Families that live with this type of person may not feel safe. When living with an angry person, family members often walk on tiptoes for fear of setting off the beast.

Though pit bulls, and people with anger issues have similarities, there is one major difference. That difference is the ability to reason. As humans the creator has given each of us the free choice to choose how we behave. An old proverb says, “A fool gives vent to his anger” (Pro. 29:11). This supports the idea that venting your anger is a choice.

It is a sad thing that we sometimes choose to make our family members feel the brunt of our anger. According to the scriptures, love “is not easily angered”. If we truly love our families doesn’t it seem right to control our anger when we are with them?

For some it isn’t quite that simple. There are often underlying frustrations, and hurts that motivate their anger outbursts. Sometimes therapy is necessary to help an angry person find, and deal with the root cause of their anger.

If you are a volatile person who is willing to admit that you have a problem, and have a desire to change, I encourage you to seek help. Through counseling, or anger management classes you can learn to recognize the signs of when you are about to lose control. By understanding what triggers your outbursts you can learn how to interrupt the process.

It is not easy to admit when we have a problem, and even more difficult to give up the right to act anyway we want. But sometimes it is necessary to deny our individual rights so that those around us may feel safe.

scarlett5@mindspring.com

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Treating Anger For Profit

2008-01-27T20:14:00.001-08:00

Treating Anger for Profit
Los Angeles Times

Courts: Many judges order offenders to take courses to control their tempers. But there are no standards for such classes and teachers may have no training in the field.

By ANNA GORMAN, TIMES STAFF WRITER

Sandra Whatley threw a soda at a police officer who stopped her for jaywalking. Kazutoshi Yakota brawled with a fellow college student over a woman. Moheb Helmy got into a shouting match with his mother and yelled at the cop who came to break it up.

The explosions landed all three in Los Angeles courtrooms–and as a result, in anger management classes. At the weekly sessions that are part of their sentences, they discuss their outbursts and describe their feelings in their anger control workbooks. The aim is to learn how to reduce rage by taking timeouts, breathing deeply and using such phrases as “I did wrong” rather than “When will you ever learn?”

Criminal and traffic court judges in California are increasingly using such programs to punish–and treat–defendants convicted of battery, road rage and disturbing the peace. Anger management classes, however, are not certified or monitored by state or local agencies. With the exception of Orange County , there are no court-approved lists of programs or guidelines on class length, curriculum or teacher qualifications. In fact, some teachers have no training at all.

“Anybody can set up a program, call it anger management and hope to get court referrals,” said Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Peter Meeka. “You keep your fingers crossed and hope they are doing a good job.”

Anger management classes are an offshoot of domestic violence programs, which are subject to legislative standards, including required levels of training and experience for teachers. Meeka, who spent five years presiding over a domestic violence court, said he would support statewide legislation to apply the same standards to anger management classes.

An advisory committee of the Judicial Council of California is reviewing the use of court-mandated anger management classes statewide.

Aside from the lack of standards, there are virtually no data on whether the classes actually help reduce recidivism. Because statistics are unavailable on how many people are being sentenced to anger management, authorities cannot gauge whether the programs work.

Skeptics say it’s nearly impossible to change people who are angry by nature. Supporters maintain that willing participants learn useful techniques to calm themselves.

“These people are still in the terrible twos, even if they are 45 years old,” said Sandra Cox, an anger management teacher and executive director of the Coalition of Mental Health Professionals in South-Central Los Angeles . “The classes give them positive ways to channel their anger rather than acting out violently.”

University of Wisconsin researcher Pamela Hollenhorst, who has reviewed studies of anger management programs throughout the country, said classes help some minor offenders but do not work for most violent criminals or as the sole treatment for spousal abusers.

“Anger management is sort of a Band-Aid approach,” said Hollenhorst, assistant director of the university’s Institute for Legal Studies. “It doesn’t address the underlying problems.”

Critics cite Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold as extreme examples of anger management failures. Before the teens opened fire on fellow students at Columbine High School in Colorado , they had been ordered by a court to attend anger management classes for breaking into a van and stealing electronic equipment.

Some Judges Like the Idea
Though road, air and workplace rage are hardly new behaviors, psychologists and judges finally started identifying them as common problems in the late 1990s.

Some judges see the classes as an ideal sentence for first-time offenders convicted in bar brawls or fistfights with fellow motorists. Those judges say classes can help teach defendants how to keep their emotions in check, as well as ease crowded jails and clogged court calendars.

Defendants are typically sentenced to from 10 to 52 weekly classes as a condition of probation or as an alternative to time behind bars.

Because there are no approved lists, defendants must find their own classes, often by surfing the Internet. Probation officers keep a list of agencies that offer approved batterers’ programs and might also provide anger classes.

In recent years, several celebrities who pleaded no contest to criminal charges in connection with temper flare-ups have been ordered by judges to attend anger management classes. Actress Shannen Doherty hurled a beer bottle at a car window outside a West Hollywood bar; rapper Tone Loc smashed a woman’s car with a baseball bat in Los Angeles ; boxer Mike Tyson struck two drivers after a traffic accident in Maryland .

“It’s sort of this self-feeding frenzy,” Hollenhorst said. “It gets a lot more publicity every time an athlete or a movie star gets sent to anger management.”

The number of referrals further increased with a road rage law that took effect in January. The state law, written by Assemblyman Herb Wesson ( D-Culver City ), gives judges the authority to order defendants to complete a “court-approved anger management or ‘road rage’ course” in addition to suspending their driving privileges. Wesson, however, admitted recently that he was not aware that court-approved programs don’t exist in most counties.
Wesson said he will talk to members of the Assembly Judiciary Committee about setting statewide standards. “If you don’t have these things in place, it could lead to abuses,” he said.

Los Angeles Superior Court Commissioner Roberta Kyman estimates she has sentenced more than 200 defendants to anger management classes over the last four years. She advised them to choose a class from the approved list and report back after finishing. Until late August, she didn’t realize there was no such list.

No Standards, Many Differences
With no standards, classes differ widely in length, format and curricula. Some programs resemble therapy groups, while others teach specific skills in a classroom setting. Teachers’ qualifications also vary. Some have doctorates in psychology and others do not even have a college degree.

Sharon Hartwig studied music and theater for two years at a community college and spent 1 1/2 years as a social services counselor before starting an anger management class recently at Joint Efforts Inc., a San Pedro nonprofit agency that serves low-income families.

In preparation, she attended a one-day seminar taught by a fellow teacher and wrote a manual of policies and procedures.

Some say any standards are unnecessary because many anger management teachers already lead domestic violence courses and have met the state requirements to do so.

Cox, the South-Central Los Angeles anger management teacher, insists that her clients benefit, even if it takes them a while to get the message. She said the courses also help participants lower their blood pressure or stop the progression of diabetes or heart disease.

“We know it works,” said Cox, who has a doctorate in social psychology. “They block us for three to four months. Once they let that guard down, they start hearing us. And they start telling us, ‘I heard your voice telling me to check my anger.”

David Davies, a bureau chief with Los Angeles County Probation, said all his department can do is keep tabs on whether defendants attend class. They give the Probation Department certificates of completion, which the department passes along to the court.

In Orange County , probation officials took the initiative four years ago by preparing guidelines for courses and identifying teachers qualified to deal with volatile clients. The Probation Department conducts annual reviews.

The 10-week Orange County courses cost up to $50 a week and last 90 minutes each. Instructors focus on the telltale signs of potentially violent anger: upset stomach, clenched fists, dry mouth. Then they provide tips on how students can tame their tempers.

Colorado State University psychology professor Jerry Deffenbacher, who has studied anger management, said programs work only if the participants want help. Even then, he said, the classes may help lower their anger but won’t turn them into pacifists.

Each Week, a New Skill
On a recent Tuesday night in Brentwood , Whatley the jaywalker, Yakota the college student and Helmy the shouter sat in a circle holding their workbooks, “Gaining Control of Ourselves.” Each week, George Anderson or one of his fellow teachers covers a new skill: Active listening. Identifying high-risk situations. Controlling negative emotions.

This week: Communicating effectively.
The participants took turns introducing themselves, telling why they got referred to the class and what they could have done differently to prevent getting arrested. Then they watched a video about communication styles and practiced ways to express anger and frustration without provoking a fight.

Anderson described the pretend situation: You’ve cooked a nice meal and your partner comes home two hours late and the food is ruined. His students’ responses–though a bit formal–hit the mark: I feel hurt when you come home late for dinner because it makes me feel like you don’t value our time together.

Moheb Helmy, 22, said his rage consumes him and he is constantly slamming doors, cursing and fighting with his family. “I have so much anger,” he said. “I would love to change because it hurts everybody around me.”

Helmy, who has been ordered by a judge to attend 12 weeks of classes, said the skills he is learning seem logical. “But when it comes time to do it, I forget it all,” he said.

Anderson, a clinical social worker and former UCLA lecturer, has been teaching anger management for three years and currently has about 200 students at four Los Angeles locations. “I don’t know if it works or not,” he said. “But anger management teaches practical skills. I think if they come for a long period of time, they’ll benefit.”

Some clients come voluntarily, but most are required to attend and aren’t happy about it. Inevitably, a few bring along an attitude: I don’t have a problem. I don’t need to be here.

Sandra Whatley, a native Texan with a self-described temper problem, had those exact feelings when she first started the class. She thought the police officer needed anger management more than she did.

But during a year of classes, Whatley said, she has realized that she has to take take some responsibility for getting arrested. Now, she leaves her workbook open on her dresser to remind her to take a deep breath when she is about to explode.

“I’ve had an aggressive personality my whole life,” said Whatley, 40. “It’s in my blood. I need this. But I cannot even begin to tell you I have toned myself down.”

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MArtin Luther King- A Pioneer in Anger Management

2008-01-21T07:50:00.000-08:00

Today we celebrate the virth of Dr. Martin Luther King-A prioneer in Anger Management. Dr King managed the anger of a people to change the course of history. The following is an excerpt from my book Angry People:

Anger- a world changer

Its time we stop worrying, and get angry you know? But not angry and pick up a gun, but angry and open our minds.
–Tupac Shakur

Anger is one of the sinews of the soul; he that lacks it has a maimed mind.
Thomas Fuller

The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn’t angry enough.
~Bede Jarrett

All anger “ain’t” bad.

Anger is a recognition that we have been hurt or feel threatened. It is a warning signal and a clear indication that something is wrong.

Throughout history great men have used the power of anger to change the world. Anger caused Jesus to chase out the merchants from the temple with a whip. Anger spawned the civil rights movement. It gave birth to a variety of leaders and activists from Cesar Chavez to Martin Luther King.

Anger gives you the ability to protect yourself and those close to you. I encourage you to use your anger productively. Get angry at poverty. Become enraged about world hunger and homelessness. Look around you. What is the condition of your life? Could you stand a change? You can use your anger to change yourself and the world around you.

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Spirituality and Anger Management

2008-01-18T08:27:00.000-08:00

If we are to effectively manage anger it, and all affects (fear, depression, paranoia etc) must be addressed at three levels: biological, mental and spiritual. So far, unfortunately, those who teach anger management mainly do so from cognitive-behavioral perspective and leave out the biological and spiritual aspect; their result is not impressive. The methodological approach to anger management explicated in this paper works. You be the judge for yourself.

Most human beings experience anger but some of them are especially prone to anger. In treating these people, myself included, I found the usual anger management methodologies ineffective. I sought what works in healing anger, and if it works it must work for me. A healer must first heal himself before he heals other people.

In this paper I will share with you what worked for me in managing my anger and other affects. I believe that if you practiced this approach to anger management that it would work for you, too.

This approach to anger management combines regular cognitive-behavior anger management and insights from spirituality.

I do not believe that the individual can manage his anger until he has a good grasp of his individual psychology, his personality and his habitual patterns of behaviors. So far, anger management training failed because it is taught by folk who have little or no understanding of human biology, psychology and spirituality; these folk treat the individual as if he can just learn certain anger management techniques, practice them and his anger problem is gone. No, it does not work that way. To manage the individual’s anger you have to understand his body, his personality and spirituality. As long as the individual’s biological, psychological and spiritual structures are not correctly attended to he is not going to be able to heal his anger.

The Formation Of The Self Concept/Personality

Each human being has a self concept, an idea of who he thinks that he is. The self concept is exactly that, a concept, an idea. As George Kelly (1991) pointed out, in childhood each of us builds on his inherited biological constitution and social experience to formulate a self concept. Each child constructs a self concept for himself and concepts for other persons and things in his world. By age six the child’s self concept is apparent and by adolescence it is stabilized and seldom changes.

Whereas sociological factors play a role in the formation of the self concept, I assert that the self concept is largely a product of the individual’s inherited biological constitution. This is what my experience has taught me. As I see it, the self concept, aka individual personality, is, at least, ninety percent determined by the child’s inherited body. Therefore, to understand the individual’s self concept we must understand his specific biological constitution.

Once formed in childhood, the self concept affects how the individual sees everything in his world. You cannot change how the individual sees his world until you change his self concept. Certainly, you cannot manage the individual’s anger issues until you understand and, hopefully, change his self concept. However, it is not easy to change the self concept. If it were easy to change the self concept folk would change them as they change their clothes. The reason why it is not easy to change the individual’s self concept is because it is rooted in his inherited biological datum. Since, so far, no one has figured out how to change folk’s bodies (genes) no one has figured out how to change their self concepts, completely.

The individual’s self concept is not only biological and sociological in origin but also spiritual. To be born on earth each human being must separate from his original state, a unified spirit state.

Spirit is not amenable to empirical study hence science ignores it. Nevertheless, we must factor in the element of spirit if we are to understand the individual and help him change his behaviors. I do not believe that any one can heal his anger issues until he embraces some sort of spiritual explanation of his being. At any rate, I include spirituality in my approach to helping folk understand and change their behaviors.

Separation

As I see it, the self concept, personality, ego (I employ the three interchangeably), in effect, says that one is an individual and is separated from other individuals. The self concept says that I am over here and you are over there; we are separated from each other; we are different from each other; some of us are inferior and some of us are superior persons, that is, the self concept believes in inequality. The self concept does not believe in the sameness, equality and oneness of all humanity.

I am over here and you are over there; there is boundary between me and you. Our bodies give us boundaries.

Space, time and matter give us boundaries. Space is separation; I am here, you are there and there is space between us, and for each of us to reach one another he must traverse space; it takes time to traverse space. There is space, time and matter between us.

Matter, space and time are means of separation; they are means of making us feel that we are separated from each other and are individuals.

Existential separation is not emphasized enough by secular psychology. Some religions, fortunately, emphasize it. Hinduism, Buddhism, Gnosticism (especially as represented by A Course in miracles) emphasizes it.

As Alfred Adler recognized (1907) the individual’s body can make him feel inferior or superior to other people. For example, at the race level if the individual’s body is white, considering that in our extant world white is construed as better than black, white body may make the individual feel superior and black body may make the individual feel inferior. In our extant society clearly male bodies are considered superior to female bodies. Thus the individual’s genital may make him feel superior or inferior. Some bodies are healthier than others and some bodies are more beautiful than others; those with healthier and more beautiful bodies may feel superior to those with weak and or ugly bodies. Altogether, the individual’s inherited body, given our current social reality, may dispose him to feel inferior or superior to other people.

Talking at the abstract level does not do it for me. I generally use my experience to illustrate my points. So, let me get personal. The body I inherited, black and weak, made me feel inferior to other bodies. In Adlerian individual psychological terms, I compensated with a sense of superiority. By age six I felt totally inferior; I also felt totally superior to every person around me. I have not seen a human being that I do not unconsciously feel inferior to and consciously feel superior to. This sense of superiority extends to those that society considers very important persons. When I was in my early twenties, a college student, I was fortunate to travel. I visited where so-called important persons live: such as the American President’s White house, the Catholic Pope’s Vatican, the English monarch’s residence, Buckingham palace, the former residences of the various European monarchs such as the Louvre, Versailles etc. In each of these places at the conscious level I felt totally superior to the occupant, present or past (and unconsciously felt inferior to him or her).

For the purpose of anger management it is critical that the individual understand his self concept.

In my case (which I believe is every person’s case, albeit in degrees) my conscious sense of superiority and unconscious sense of inferiority plays a role in my tendency to anger tantrums. At the conscious level, I have a grandiose self concept; I have a self structure that insists on been seen as the most important person on earth.

Given this grandiose ego structure, if I am treated with respect I feel okay with the person so treating me. On the other hand, if I am disrespected by another person I feel belittled and angry at the person I perceive to have so treated me.

My anger response is generally when I perceive myself not treated with respect and dignity by another human being.

When I feel disrespected, I do not care who you think that you are I will confront you immediately. I feel that you have no right disrespecting me, and since you did disrespect me I must show you that you do not have such a right.

So far in my life I have not permitted any one to get away with treating me as if he or she is better than me. I remember a white fellow, an accountant, who worked for the agency that I was the executive director. He treated me as white Americans generally treat black folk: with condescension. I sensed his sense of superiority to me and having confirmed that my perception is correct by asking other members of the management team whether they have noticed that the said chap disregards me I called him into my office and told him to change his patronizing ways or else go find another job. He continued his racist ways and I fired him and gave him a list of attorneys to go hire and sue me. The point is that I do not tolerate any one treating me disrespectfully.

When I become angry I feel total anger and fight to destroy that source of anger (usually a person I believe humiliated me). I experience injury to my sense of pride and feel narcissistic rage. I act out to assuage my injured vanity. By destroying the person I believe belittled me I feel my pride reaffirmed.

In effect, my anger is a product of my grandiose self concept. If I did not have a big self concept I would not be prone to the level of anger I used to be prone to.

For me to heal my anger I must understand my self concept, my ego structure, and my personality, and restructure them, as much as it is possible to do so at the cognitive level.

But, as noted earlier, the individual’s self structure is largely a product of his body and so far no one has figured out how to change the human body. Therefore, figuring out how to change ones thinking alone would not eradicate ones tendency to anger. As long as one has the body one has one must be prone to anger. Because one must be prone to anger the most that one can do is manage ones anger.

Anger management presupposes that the anger is still there but managed. To eliminate human tendency to anger we must change the human body. In the future, genetic science and genetic engineering, no doubt, would figure out a way to change folk’s genes hence change their behaviors; this happy expectation is way in the future. In the present all that we can do is manage our anger.

To manage our anger we must do so at the three levels that constitutes human beings on earth: biological, thinking and spiritual.

The individual must understand his ego structure, his self concept, and his personality. When the individual understands his ego structure he can resolve to restructure it and if he succeeds he would no longer be prone to unmanageable anger.

At present, if you are doing something that hitherto made me angry, I would observe what you are doing and choose to not let it make me angry. Let us say that you are overtly insulting and called me put down names I would let it go by telling myself that you have a right to a negative opinion of me; I would remind me that your opinion, like all opinions, is based on your level of intelligence and education and is by no means correct. I would overlook your derogatory comments.

In the past if you dared make belittling statements about me I would let you have it. As noted, I do not care if you believe that you are the president of the world I would come at you with total force and do so to destroy you. And when I begin my attack I do so relentlessly and eventually take my opponents down.

I had to understand my ego structure, my self concept, and my personality and change them, in as much as they are changeable, before I could manage my anger. It has been a long time that I was overtly angry. These days, I just smile at those who do things that used to make me angry.

I believe that if you have anger issues you must do what I did: understand your ego structure as well as learn anger management techniques.

Conventional Anger Management Techniques Summarized

In traditional anger management training (see Black, 2006) they teach you to understand what makes you angry (which, generally, is anything that frustrates your goal attainment). Human beings pursue goals and whatever prevents them from achieving them makes them feel disappointed. When human beings feel disappointed they feel angry; anger is largely an emotional force aimed at removing the perceived obstacles to ones goals.

Anger has physiological responses so the individual has to understand how his body feels when he is angry. Anger, like fear, makes the human body react in a certain manner. The moment an individual feels frustrated hence angry his heart pounds fast; his body releases sugar which blood carries to his muscles preparing them to fight the perceived cause of his anger.

In anger the individual feels as he feels when he is in a state of fear: rapid breathing, rapid heart rate, rapid movement in his nervous system (information is sent to the brain where it is processed and feedback as to how to respond to the source of frustration is given); the individual’s muscles feel tense and prepare him to fight; his fists are clinched, his face feels red (as blood rushes to it); the individual talks rapidly and does everything rapidly; the cortex or rational part of his brain apparently shuts down and the hypothalamus, the animal part, takes over; the individual is now a pure animal who feels attacked and is counter attacking, is defensive so as to survive. In anger the individual feels his life threatened and fights back, attempts to survive as a biological organism. Anger is the fight part of the flight- fight response in fear response.

In traditional anger management the individual is taught to recognize what makes him angry and to know when he is feeling angry. For example, if some one is saying something that denigrates your sense of dignity and you feel psychologically attacked, you feel angry (as shown by rapid breathing, fist clinching, tense muscles, rapid talking, desire to physically lash out at the person who made you angry). When the individual recognizes these physiological symptoms of anger taking place in his body he can do something about them.

If you recognize the symptoms of anger coming on, the best anger management technique is to get away from the presence of the person you believe is making you angry. When you walk away from the stimulus making your body react with anger, apparently, the neurochemicals released by your body in preparation for anger response calm down.

Taking a walk when you feel angry is the best way to relax your body. When your body is relaxed, the fight neurotransmitters go back to their neuro-receptors, you can then think calmly, which is more likely to be rationally than you would when you are angry.

If you cannot get away from the source of your anger, count to twenty. Counting is a way of engaging your cortex, the intellectual part of your brain in abstract activity, to counteract the hypothalamus, the animal part that wants to fight back. By counting to twenty, preferably backwards, to make it difficult, you give your brain something challenging to do rather than engage in the less cerebral fighting that anger disposes to.

If angry, you should take deep breathes. Breathe in and out and count your breathing. Do so for a few minutes. Watch yourself breathe in and out. Deep breathing relaxes your tense body hence diffuses your anger.

If angry you should visualize beautiful sceneries that ordinarily make you happy. I used to imagine myself running on a beach (I love running on a beach) and that would make me calm down. Alternatively, I would imagine me walking in a bush, hiking (I love hiking). I also imagined myself in rose gardens; admiring roses generally makes me feel good.

If all these fail I would think about a book I read, what it said, and try to concentrate on its content rather than the person I think is making me angry.

Clinching ones fists, tensing and releasing them tends to relax ones muscles, muscles that had tensed up in preparation for attack.

In addition to the above behavioral aspects of anger management is cognitive restructuring. In his cognitive behavior therapy Albert Ellis (1962) teaches that it is not what is happening in the environment that makes one angry, or fearful or depressed but how one interprets it that makes one so. Different persons react differently to the same stimulus.

If a white person called a black person nigger, his intention is to attack the black person’s self esteem, to lower it. If the black person is other-directed, is dependent on social approval, that is, has low self esteem he may feel devastated by such name calling. On the other hand, a black person with high self esteem would shine off the derogatory name calling. Whether you feel fearful, angry or sad therefore is a product of your internal cognitions and not only what happens out there in the environment.

Epictetus, a Roman stoic philosopher predicated his philosophy on the idea that it is your thinking, your mentation, your cognition, your interpretation of events that affects your emotions not the events themselves.

Epictetus was a slave. His philosophy is a slave’s philosophy that enables slaves to accommodate themselves to their master’s abuses and insults. If your master insults you, you can take his insults with a smile on your face. This is what black slaves did to their white masters. The properly socialized slave, Sambo, Negro, smiled as sadistic white folk humiliated him.

Obviously, such a response perpetuates the abusers behavior and encourages oppression and slavery. Nothing heals an abuser better than a smack right across his face. If you hit a person who hit you and make him feel the pain he inflicted on you that quickly heal him of his sadistic joy in hurting other people. Slavery was not stopped in the Roman Empire by Epictetus’ accommodating method; slavery is always stopped by the slave standing up and fighting back and if need be killed rather than accommodate slavery.

The point is that Ellis approach to anger management is useful but also problematic. Sometimes fighting back is the best way to deal with angering situations. It is when black folk stood up and fought their racist oppressors that the later stopped abusing them. I do not teach accommodation and tolerance of abuse. If a human being abuses you, stand up to him and demand that he stop doing so, demand that he treat you with respect and dignity and if he persists in degrading you then launch at him with as much physical and psychological force as you can muster. Force changes behavior, quick.

Clearly, if one has anger issues, one ought to practice cognitive-behavioral approaches to anger management. What I want to add to that approach is self knowledge and spirituality.

Know who you are. This means know your self concept, your ego structure and your personality. To know your ego structure you must know your body. It is helpful if the individual took a personality and intelligence test to ascertain his personality type and level of intelligence. The MMPI and WAIS are validated tests with good reliability results. Certain personality types tend to be more prone to anger than others; others attempt to repress their anger but exhibit them in passive-aggressive ways. The accepted personality disorders are paranoid, schizoid, schizotypal; narcissistic, histrionic, antisocial and borderline; avoidant, obsessive-compulsive and dependent. (I have explained these in other places.)

As noted, body largely determines what the individual thinks and does. So study your body and know what it makes you do.

Body And Personality Are Related

In my observation, the ego, personality, and body are not only related but are the same thing. If you have a tendency to anger it is a product of your body. Body affects your ego structure, your personality.

For you to heal your anger (or any other affect, such as fear, depression and paranoia) you have to figure out a way to calm your body. These days some medical doctors give angry (and or anxious) persons anti anxiety medications, such as Xanax and valium etc. These medications do calm the individual’s body and therefore reduce his propensity to anger, for anger is expressed in excited body. Whatever calms the body reduces anger. Systematic relaxation exercises reduce anger. Even alcohol calms the body and reduces anger. However, alcohol is not a recommended anger management technique because alcohol dis-inhibits the individual and this may lead to aggressive behavior.

Body and personality are synonymous hence anger can be treated with medications as if anger is a physical disorder. By the same token we do treat the other affects such as anxiety, depression, mania, paranoia and schizophrenia as if they are physical disorders. Medicinal treatment of mental disorders presupposes that they are physical disorders and they are. These days most mental disorders are approached from a biochemical imbalances perspective. Schizophrenia is seen as resulting from too much of the neurotransmitter dopamine; mania is seen as resulting from too much of the neurotransmitter norepinephrine; depression is seen as resulting from too little of the neurotransmitter serotonin; anxiety is seen as resulting from too much of an unknown excitatory neurotransmitter or too little of the inhibitory neurotransmitter, GABA. Medications that treat these disorders aim at balancing the putative unbalanced neurotransmitters. The various neuroleptics tend to reduce brain dopamine, anti mania medications tend to reduce brain norepinephrine, anti depressants tend to increase brain serotonin and anxiolytics tend to increase brain GABA. Along this line since anger and fear (anxiety) are really the same affect some believe that anger has to do with whatever neurotransmitter is implicated in anxiety disorder. Thus, some psychiatrists treat anger as an anxiety disorder with anxiolytic medications. Whatever works is fine. The side effects of these medications, however, are too severe to make them the first option in treating anger.

I would rather wait until we discover the genes involved in anxiety, anger and mental disorders in general and use genetic engineering to alter them to bring about change in human behavior.

The Spiritual Aspect Of Anger Management

The individual’s ego, personality and body are the same. When the individual dies his ego, personality and body dies. When I die my body, personality, ego and self concept dies and are gone forever.

What survives physical death is not the individual’s body, ego and personality but the life force in him. That life force is not physical. Folk call that life force spirit, so I will call it spirit, though it is nameless, for what is named and defined is limited; the life force is limitless.

Elsewhere, I delineated my ontology. Let me summarize it here. We are spirit. As it were, spirit goes to sleep and in its sleep dreams that it is a separated self housed in body and lives in space and time.

Our real self is unified spirit. Unified spirit is eternal and immortal. Unified spirit is infinite in number. Unified spirit is the same everywhere; it is equal everywhere and is one.

When aspects of unified spirit decided to separate from it they go to sleep and in their sleep dream that they are a separated selves housed in bodies.

Spirit appears in body and ego and is seem on earth as you and I. When the body dies spirit continues existing as spirit but not as the ego and body it had lived on while on earth. (My religion, if it must be called religion, is similar to aspects of Hinduism, Buddhism, Gnosticism etc. However, what I am talking about is not something that must be believed. It is something that is self evidently true. Any one who so cares can verify the existence of spirit. That subject is beyond the scope of this paper. I have covered it elsewhere.)

For the individual to heal his anger he must understand his self structure in an objective, dispassionate, impersonal manner. He is not to be sentimental or moralistic about it. He must also understand something about spirituality, for human beings are at root spirit.

In the here and now world, some persons have monumental, grandiose self concepts. Such persons are born that way; better still, their bodies made them that way. There is nothing any one can do about it. Their bodies and big egos are neither good nor bad, it is simply the way they are.

Science studies things as they are without making value judgments as to whether they are good or bad.

Empirical observation, science, shows us that some persons have big self concepts, big egos and that others have small egos, small self concepts.

I recall me during the Nigerian civil war. I was a teenager. At a certain point during the war, Biafran soldiers would go from house to house seeking boys, as young as fourteen, to conscript into the Biafran army. Occasionally, these soldiers came to our house to search for boys to be conscripted to the army. The other boys would go hide. Instead, I would stand at the gate to our house and order the soldiers to get the hell out of our house. The fact that they were carrying guns and intimidating folk meant nothing to me. No man born of woman has ever intimidated me. I do not fear death and if those soldiers decided to kill me it would not have deterred me one bit.

Folk felt at a loss that a mere boy was asking heavily armed soldiers to get lost. If I wanted to join the army I would do so willingly but no man born of woman could make me do what I did not want to do. You cannot terrorize and intimidate me into doing what I do not want to do. This is not some youthful oppositional defiant disorder where a boy is in power struggle with authority figures and wants to seem the powerful one. I simply must be consulted before a person told me what to do. I do not tell other persons what to do and do not accept other persons telling me what to. I am the ultimate democrat for all social decisions, as far as I am concerned, must be done by consensus. Dictatorship is something that I cannot countenance.

This is the advantageous side of having an indomitable ego. The negative aspect of it is intolerance of others belittling behaviors.

Everything has good and bad sides to it; all we have to do is study everything objectively without emoting about them been good or bad. Moralizing about the negative aspect of big egos is silly. It is those with big egos, if put to positive use, that bring about positive changes in this world.

Those with big egos can, unfortunately, put their indomitable egos to destructive purposes. Adolf Hitler was one such person.

To reduce your anger you have to understand your ego self concept. Ultimately, to manage your anger you have to have some spirituality. Elsewhere I have written on what to me constitutes real spirituality. Originally, we were and still are one spirit; we decided to separate from oneness and manifest as separated selves. We invented space, time and matter to enable us experience separated ego selves. Each of us used body, space and time to construct a separated self for himself, to form his personality. (All these are metaphors, of course.)

To not feel angry one must eliminate the desire for separated self and return to unified state, to unified spirit self, our true self. In unified self one is in peace and joy. Unfortunately, one cannot be in unified state and still be on earth. One can momentarily experience unified spirit, in meditation, but if one chooses to return to living in our world of space, time and matter, one must return to having a separated ego self concept hence identify with body and be prone to anger. As long as we live in body, space and time we must have egos and therefore be prone to anger and ought to learn anger management.

The Ego Must Be Defended To Seem Real To Us

That which is real needs no defense to make it real. On the other hand, that which is false needs defense to make it seem real in the defending person’s mind.

The separated, special self, the ego, the human personality needs to be defended to seem real in its owners eyes.

If the ego is not defended it does not exist, for it, in fact, does not exist. The ego is a mere dream figure. Each of us sleeps and forgets his real self, spirit self, and in his sleep dream that he is a separated self housed in body. The ego personality is a made up self, it is not real, it is an imaginary self we invented to replace our real self. The ego is a replacement self, a substitute self; our real self is unified spirit self. Because it is a false, imaginary, fantasy self the ego must be defended (with the various ego defense mechanisms) to seem real to us.

I had to defend my big self to make it seem real in my awareness. Defense of the false ideal ego self, as Karen Horney (1950) pointed out, gives one anxiety. If I did not defend that sense of big self it did not exist, for, in fact, it does not exist; it is an illusion, a delusion, a figment of my imagination.

All ego selves, big or small, are fictional selves we invent and wear and pretend to be and defend them.

Try not defending your ego, your idea of who you think that you are and see what happens. You feel peaceful and happy.

Practicing ego defenselessness makes you recognize that you are not the ego, not your self concept, not your personality, indeed, not your body.

Who you are, in fact, is the son of God, a part of God, a part of Spirit who goes to sleep and in your dream of self forgetfulness dream that you are the self concept, the ego self and defend it. You present an imaginary replacement self to the world to relate to and collude with people to relate to it and they do the same with you. All of us mutually deceive ourselves.

If you do not identify with the ego, big or small, and other people do something to insult, humiliate, degrade, belittle the ego you would not feel a thing. You would not feel angry. What would interest you is to state the truth as you see it.

Last year, I jostled with a bunch of Nigerians from a certain tribe that was on an ego trip. They constructed fictional important ego selves and pretend to be them and ask all people to collude with them and see them as they want to be seen, as very important selves. Indeed, in their delusion, they ask other people to see them as their superiors! Imagine that some sons of God asking other sons of God to see them as their superiors! In God we are the same, equal and one. It is insanity to want to see ones self as better than other persons.

I told these misguided egotists that they were dancing a childish ego dance and that in reality all people are the same, equal and one. But as egotists they could not handle the idea of human equality, they wanted to be seen as special and superior to other persons. They saw the person asking them to accept our equality as an enemy.

They must have called me every insulting name they could imagine. Usually their vocabulary is limited, so they called me the same names over and over, again. Their goal was to put me down, to make me seem silly so as to justify feeling their ego arrogance.

Let me observe that during my egoistic days, I felt totally superior to them. During my arrogant days, I did not associate with these folk for they seemed like primitive savages.

The ego lives in darkness where it hatches lies and lives them but the light of truth shines away both the ego and its lies.

Because I did not identify with the ego I did not feel insulted by this name calling folk. Instead, I saw them as amusing little children to be taught some needed lessons in reality. I persisted in stressing the truth of our equality and these folk now know that it is delusional for them to feel special and superior to other people and if they persist in doing so they need to be hospitalized and treated with neuroleptic medications.

(It is the desire for specialness, the desire to seem inferior or superior to other persons, the desire to create ones self and make one better than other persons that led us to separate from God and from each other and invent this world of differences and inequality. It is, therefore, difficult for folk to give up their wish for specialness. In this light whoever asks folk to give up their delusional sense of superiority is seen as an enemy and attacked. I understand why the tribal men perceived me as their enemy; like Satan they see Christ as a threat to them, to their fictional sense of superiority. Truth cannot hide from lies, thus I persisted in stressing the truth while they made their bleeping noises.)

The point is that while other people can try insulting you they cannot succeed unless you identify with the ego. If you wish to appear important in people’s eyes then other people can make you seem unimportant.

If you identify with your real self, variously called the Christ self, unified self etc, it does not matter to you whether other people see you as important or not. You know that your true identity, Christ, is the son of God and, as such, very important and has grandeur, magnificence and worth given by God not human egos.

Human beings can do nothing to take away the worth God gave you, his son. Human beings can say nothing that can make you, God’s son, to feel up or down, good or bad, happy or depressed, fearful or angry.

If you identify with the ego you would feel like a yoyo that other people can put up or down. But the moment you identify with Christ no one can put you up or down. No one can make you angry or fearful or sad.

However, you can make yourself anxious, depressed and delusional by trying to seem important in your eyes and other people’s eyes. All our self conferred importance is delusional.

Real importance is given by God; the individual did not and does not do anything to merit his God given worth.

The ego is a replacement self, a substitute self; it is not our real self. Our real self is the self God created us as, his extension, a part of him; our real self is spirit. We separated from that spirit self and manifested in the world of space, time and matter.

Upon birth on earth the human child feels like he separated from total worth (God) and feels like he is nothing. He feels total sense of nothingness, worthlessness and valuelessness.

Since he just came from God where he had total grandeur and magnificence, obviously, he cannot tolerate feeling like he is nothing. Thus, he tries to give himself a feeling of worth.

In heaven the son of God is given worth by his father; on earth the son of God tries to give him self worth. On earth we invent egos for ourselves and give them imaginary worth.

In Adlerian terms upon birth on earth (in Otto Ranks terms, birth in tragedy) the human child feels like he has no worth, feels inferior and compensates with superiority.

Adler limited himself to secular psychology. In so far that Adler sought the causal factors involved in the etiology of our sense of inferiority he found them only in biological and sociological variables. He is partially correct, of course. But he is wrong for, ultimately, our sense of inferiority is rooted in our separation from God. God is the only source of worth for his children.

To feel inferior one must have known what superiority is. A child could not have sought superiority and worth unless he once knew what they were. The human child, prior to coming to earth, in God lived in God’s glory.

Discussion

To feel angry a human being must have a self concept, an ego, a self that believes itself separated from other selves. That self must wish to be special, to be important, to be superior to other people and to create itself and other selves. The special ego self perceives obstacles to the attainment of its goals and feels frustrated and angry. Anger is largely an effort to remove the obstacles to the attainment of the individual’s goals

I build on my experience, which is the only experience I know for sure. Rene Descartes observed: Cogito ego sum, I think therefore I am; I think that I exist, therefore, I exist. The only experience I know for sure is my experience, not other folk’s experiences. What other folk tell me is their experiences are what they tell me and I have no way of verifying its truthfulness.

My experience shows me that I tend to be angry when I identify with an ego separated self, a special self and perceive obstacles to it. My anger is meant to protect my ego separated self.

If I did not have an ego self, small or big, I would not feel angry (or fearful or depressed etc).

On earth I do have a separated ego self. All that I can do is understand how it works and change what is changeable in it and live with what is not changeable in it.

I believe that all human beings have ego separated selves and defend them with the various ego defense mechanisms described by psychoanalysis: repression, suppression, dissociation, denial, projection, displacement, rationalization, sublimation, reaction formation, fantasy, avoidance, anger, fear, guilt, pride, shame, depression, paranoia and so on).

The ego must be defended to seem real to its owner. If the ego separated self concept is not defended it is non-existent. The ego is a false self.

Another self, the unified spirit self, invented the ego and pretends to be the ego and defends the ego.

The ego is the unified spirit self’s identity in the world of matter, space and time. When the ego is not defended it disappears to the nothingness from which unified spirit self conjured out from.

It is the ego that feels angry when it perceives its goals obstructed. One of its goals is pride. If the ego feels that other egos have attacked its pride it feels narcissistic injury and rage and fights to destroy the other egos so as to maintain its narcissistic self concept, its idea of importance.

Anger management must include understanding how ones ego responds to what it perceives as attacks on itself.

Ultimately, to heal anger one must stop defending ones ego. One must become defenseless of the ego. If one does so one feels peaceful and happy.

If one adds love and forgiveness to ones behavior repertoire one experiences ones real self, unified spirit self.

The nature of unified spirit self is beyond the scope of this paper. Let me just say that it is real, it is the real self. If you want to get in touch with your real self, the unified spirit self, try meditation.

In meditation you let go all attachments to the ego and ego concepts and stay silent. You desist from all ego based thinking and tell yourself that no concept, idea produced by your and other people’s egos can ever tell you what the truth is. The truth of who you are, who other people are, what things are and mean is beyond ego conceptualization. Therefore, empty your mind of all ego-based thinking and become an open mind, a mind swept clean of all presuppositions and preconceptions of what things are or are not. Just keep quiet.

In silence one experiences ones true self. That true self is ineffable, it cannot be explained in language for speech is designed for communication in the world of separated self, whereas the real self is a unified self and needs no speech.

The unified self is one self and simultaneously infinite selves. Each of us is a self in unified self. There is no you and I in unified self; there is no subject and object, no seer and seen; in unified spirit self all selves are one self; all selves have a unified mind, a joined mind. Unified spirit self is immortal, permanent and changeless; unified spirit self is all knowing.

As long as one makes up ego selves and think that they are who one is and defend them one cannot experience ones true self.

Anger management includes letting go of ones identification with the ego and becoming defenseless when one believes that ones ego self is attacked by other egos, persons.

Conclusion

As Helen Schucman (1976) observed, the ego is a false self, a replacement self, be it the ego that accepts its inferiority (as slaves do) or the ego of superiority. The ego must be defended to seem real in our eyes. We use guilt, shame, pride, anger, fear, paranoia, depression and the other mental illnesses to defend our egos. If not defended the ego disappears from our awareness.

That is correct, if you do not defend your sense of separated ego self it disappears for it was never there to begin with. What is always there is the unified spirit self, the Christ self.

If you did not defend your ego, is defenseless when other people attack your ego, you would experience the peace and joy of unified self.

Nobody can attack your ego unless you invited him to do so. In inviting other people to attack your ego you have given yourself an opportunity to practice defenselessness and forgiveness. In overlooking what the other ego did to your ego you have simultaneously overlooked your own ego; in forgiveness you pronounce the ego not real. In doing so you experience your real self, which is part of unified spirit self. But as long as you defend your ego you cannot experience your real self, unified spirit self.

Let go of your ego and experience the peace and joy of living as our father, God, created us.

If you let go of your ego your affect is no longer a yoyo, no longer determined by how other people treat you.

For example, in the past I used to feel belittled doing what I called menial jobs. In college I did some of those kinds of jobs. But now I do not mind doing any kind of work. My ego is not invested in social prestige. I work to serve people. However, I only do work that I am interested in and have aptitude in. I am doing my kind of work by sharing this information on how to manage anger from biological, cognitive and spiritual perspectives. Pass on this information.

Dr Osuji can be reached at The Center for Love Directed Living, CLDL. He provides workshops on assorted subjects and does so from a spiritual psychological perspective. He can be reached at (206) 529-4745. email: ozodiosuji@gmail.com

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
http://myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
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Anger Management Strategy: Record the Episode

2008-01-16T09:09:00.000-08:00

By Counseling Connection

To begin the management of anger, both counsellor and client require an understanding of the client’s expressive patterns. This can be achieved by encouraging clients to complete an Anger Episode Record. This is a record of each trigger, appraisal, experience, expressive pattern and outcome the client encounters during an established time period.

Trigger

The target for my anger was:
The situation surrounding my anger was:

Appraisal

The thought I had about the trigger was:

Experience

The intensity of my anger was (mark a cross on the scale)

0———————–5———————–10

mild moderate extreme

Expressive patterns

I engaged in the following behaviour during this anger episode:

Aversive verbalisations (yelling, arguing, threatening etc)
Physical aggression (kicking, punching, throwing something etc)
Passive retaliation (doing something deliberately harmful etc)
Avoidance (escaping through TV or listening to music etc)
Substance use (drinking a beer, taking an aspirin etc)
Outcome (positive)

List the positive short-term outcomes:
List the positive long-term outcomes:

Outcome (negative)

List the negative short-term outcomes:
List the negative long-term outcomes:

The sample template (above) is an example of how a client might record this information. Recording information in this way fosters self-reflection and promotes personal awareness. Additionally, this information can act as a foundation on which cognitive approaches can be launched.

The anger episode model, illustrates the linear process from the experience of a trigger through to the final outcome. The cycle of anger presented below (image), demonstrates how this linear process is embedded within a continuous cycle of learning.

Our role as counsellors is to effectively thwart the momentum of this learning cycle by assisting clients to modify their response at one or more of the key points within the cycle.

Through the completion of the anger episode record (strategy 1), it is anticipated that clients will have an enhanced awareness of their personal triggers, appraisals and expressive patterns. Awareness, of course, will do little to alter behaviour if clients are not encouraged to engage in corresponding action.

It is therefore essential that any increase in awareness be coupled with appropriate strategies for initiating desired change.

Daybreak Counseling Service
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310-995-1202

When pressure turns into violence

2008-01-15T10:04:00.000-08:00

There are few workplace experiences that are so stressful as witnessing a sudden outburst of violence, even if it's not directed at you personally.

And as a UK-based stress consultant, I can tell you that Dubai is likely to see a disturbing rise in these incidents, because similar factors are increasingly at play in both countries.

The main factor is undoubtedly the accelerating pace of business and the pressure that it generates. Everything speeds up, including your temper. In the event of a disagreement, there is no time for simmering resentment. All the pressure is on you to get straight back to your work-station, and re-enter that crisis atmosphere that seems to dominate office life, even in the absence of any emergency. However, that is not conducive to good heath or productivity

If this atmosphere at work is continuous, then the sufferer may release all that frustration elsewhere - perhaps in response to slow service in a restaurant or waiting at the bank till. And then the waiters and tellers have to swallow their own dignity, which contributes to a whole new reservoir of stress... (That, of course, is quite apart from the possible effects on home and family life.)

This is, of course, ironic. The person whose tensions suddenly erupt into violence may not be the natural extrovert type at all. He may be just the opposite: the conformist who has simply had to restrain his feelings once too often. "Beware the fury of a patient man", someone said.

Recognised subject

Not surprisingly, Anger Management is now an officially recognised subject for study, and employers right across industry and government are seeing the benefit of training their HR department or line-managers in the relevant skills and drills.

The first step is preventative - identifying the types of environment where violence is most likely to happen, and which types of situations are liable to spark it.

Next, you need to know how to avoid the sort of dialogue and body-language that signals confrontation and challenge, however unintentionally.

Having rid yourself of these, you learn to adopt a positive attitude of openness and approachability that can prevent the build-up of conflict.

Defusing aggression

This has a lot to do with defusing aggression through Active Listening (which you may remember from an earlier edition of this column), a form of questioning that sounds less like an interrogation and more like an interview.

Active Listening is a widely-used intervention that has been shown to generate valuable trust and goodwill, and to keep up verbal momentum, so vital to the resolution of tense situations.

By adding Anger Management to your training agenda, you'll equip your organisation with a toolbox of effective strategies for dealing with angry individuals and keeping a handle on potentially violent incidents.

Key points: Violence at work

Workplace culture in UAE is moving into the danger zone for violence
In the absence of suitable outlets, stress may affect work and leisure
Anger Management can be formally studied, with impressive results

Daybreak Counseling Service
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310-995-1202

Breaking out of Anger

2007-12-24T07:45:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered what causes anger to rear it’s ugly head so quickly? In our books I have talked about how expectations, self-talk and choices trigger and amplify anger.

Anger is ultimately a physiological and a cognitive response to certain triggers. It’s different for everyone. You might be able to shrug-off some triggers such as – a co-worker not listening to you but, fly into a rage when you can’t get your spouse’s attention.

What you tell yourself or the expectations you hold onto for other people and life goals will impact how you respond to those triggers. You then make the choice to act on the anger you feel.

How can you break out of this? How can you stop the yelling, sarcasm or hidden anger which entangles you in resentment and infects your relationships?
We teach the time-out skill as one of the best methods to stop anger from exploding or imploding.

“But, I don’t want to take a time-out when I feel angry”, you argue, “I want people to understand how they are wrong. I want to be understood. I want to get the problem solved.”

I hear these arguments from students and clients all the time. I can identify with these feelings when I’m experiencing conflict or disappointments.
The important aspect of this skill is that it stops anger from escalating. It stops the physiological fight/flight response we all have when someone or something triggers our anger.

When we take a time-out, we can implement some of the stress management or relaxation skills. During the time-out we can identify what is really happening and write out what we want or need. Maybe during the time-out we’ll discover that what we want is unrealistic or demanding. Or maybe we’ll find out that what we want is reasonable and necessary. Taking a time-out when we feel angry - can help us think through the issues and go back to the other person with one or two requests or with an apology or with some options for working through our differences or misunderstandings.

So, why not take a break when you feel anger rising inside you? A time-out will help you put a check on anger and check out whether it’s valid.

Listen to these podcasts: 4 Q’s to Disarming Anger
and Talk Yourself Out of Anger!

See all of the Quick Tips for Managing Anger podcasts at: www.whatsgoodaboutanger.com/podcasts.xml

Here are some resources to teach you skills for managing your anger: What’s Good About Anger? .
_________________

© copyright 2007 by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC. Lynette is a Marriage and Family Counselor with CounselCare Connection and National Certified Counselor. She is the co-author of What’s Good About Anger? and a speaker for community, women’s and church organizations.

Daybreak Counseling Service
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Five Tips to Deal with Holiday Anger and Stress

2007-12-20T10:24:00.000-08:00

By Dr. Tony Fiore

The holidays often bring family members together who maybe haven’t seen much of each other throughout the year. Old resentments and grievances can often emerge, sometimes with strained or even disasterous consequences. Many families find themselves time-stressed with holday preparations and activities which lower coping ability even further.

The following five tips have been found useful to help you deal with that inevitable holdiay stress:

1. Watch carefully the amount of alcohol you consume. Many anger management students confess that excessive drinking definitely contributed to family conflict and aggression.

2.Reduce stress by managing your time carefully and not over-scheduling yourself. Take time for yourself.

3. Adjust your expectations of family members. No, Aunt Irene hasn’t changed since last year. Tell yourself that you only have to see her once a year- you can cope with it.

4. Work on forgiveness skills. Let old resentments go. Holding grudges hurts you more than your relatives.

5. Develop better empathy skills. Try to see the world from the viewpoint of irritating family members and you may be shocked at how your anger dissipates.

For more tips on how to deal with angry feelings or the angry behavior of others, visit The Anger Coach Website.

Daybreak Counseling Service
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310-995-1202

Nurse May Face Charges After Elderly Abuse Allegations

2007-12-18T06:57:00.000-08:00

Kansas City

A Shawnee nursing home has fired one of its nurses for elderly abuse, then the home reported him to police on the allegations.

The Sweet Life Nursing Home wasted no time. The employee in question was terminated on Friday, the same day the allegations were made by a co-worker.

Sweet Life cares for 150 elderly patients, many who need full-time care. Police said the fired worker is accused of slapping an 88-year-old man and roughly throwing him into a wheelchair.

On two other occasions the same nurse is accused of pushing an 81-year-old female in the stomach and the next day slapping her with a wash cloth and spraying water into her mouth. A female nurse reported the pattern of abusive behavior to managers who quickly fired the male nurse.

"We take any concerns with our residents very seriously," Executive Director Kim Ellis said. "We have a zero tolerance for any type of abuse, neglect or exploitation of our residents."

The Sweet Life is reporting the suspect's name to the Kansas Department of Aging, that way he'll be on a registry so that if he tries to apply for a job at a different nursing home, he'll automatically be red flagged even if he's never charged with a crime.

"It's my understanding that all nursing homes would check the registry to make sure that all associates do not have that on their file," Ellis said.

Police said elderly abuse can be tough to investigate. In this case, the victims suffer from dementia.

"They're non verbal, they can't express themselves when they are being abused and they may not even be aware of the fact that they're being abused," Ron Copeland with Shawnee Police said.

Detectives and Sweet Life managers said it was critical that another nurse stepped forward.

"They're one of the most vulnerable populations, completely because they rely on others to help make sure that good decisions are being made for them," Ellis said.

The wife of the male victim said she's thankful that Sweet Life acted quickly and charges are possible in this case once the prosecutor gets a look at the information.

Rob Low, FOX 4 News

Daybreak Counseling Service
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HANDLING ANGRY CLIENTS AND FAMILIES

2007-12-11T08:38:00.000-08:00

By Carol A. Butler, MS Ed., RNC, for Wellness Reproductions and Publishing, LLC

Do you clench your teeth, tighten your muscles, and bristle when people complain, criticize, or condemn? Join the club! Angry clients and their families, going through the worst of times, often lash out at professionals who choose to help. Enable them to vent feelings, cool down, comply with requests, or resolve conflicts while you remain calm, compassionate, but unwavering when necessary.

Empower versus overpower them with these tips:

Overdose With Agreement

You need not agree with their views. Just validate their feelings. For example, you could say...

"It sure is an upsetting situation for you."
"Yes, it is very difficult for you."
"It does it seem terrible."
Don't try to reason with irate persons. Your goal is to calm, not persuade.

L.E.A.P.S.

Listen
Empathize
Ask Questions
Paraphrase
Summarize
Listening allows them to vent feelings. Have you ever fumed to your friends or family and received well-meant advice? Were you receptive? Initially, angry people want to be heard, not helped.

Empathizing conveys that you understand their concerns. Don't try to change their minds or impose your opinion.

Asking questions elicits their perspective. Avoid "Why...?" which fosters defensiveness. Ask "How...?" to determine their thoughts and feelings. Don't impersonate a detective or a judge!

Paraphrasing proves you've heard and understand. Repeat their concerns in your own words.

Summarizing provides a "snapshot" of the situation, laying the groundwork for later problem-solving.

Behavior Begets Behavior

Be calm, compassionate and respectful and your clients may model your behavior. Apologize for their inconvenience. Explain what you can do to help. Don't verbally attack the people or defend the institution, staff, laws, or yourself. Defensiveness appears argumentative and adds fuel to the fire. Ignore sarcasm or questions challenging your position or policies and redirect attention to the issues.

Spatial Relationships

Proxemics

Provide them extra personal space. Be approximately their leg's length away versus "toe to toe" or "in their face." Position yourself near a door, but allow them access to exit. Don't corner yourself or anyone else.

Body Language

Don't literally look down at them. Be at their eye level, stooping near the bed, sitting across from or standing at an angle, facing slightly sideways, palms up. Avoid authoritative stances with hands on hips or arms crossed.

Break Barriers

Unless you fear physical violence, do not sit behind a desk or stand behind a counter. Move to their side of the obstacle and, ideally, seek an area within earshot of help but away from an audience.

Paraverbal Communication

Tone, volume and cadence matter more than content as people escalate. Although we would not be making the following (defensive) remark, it illustrates how accentuating one word changes the message. Read the following statement aloud, emphasizing only the word in bold:

"I didn't call you stupid." (implies someone else called you stupid)
"I didn't call you stupid." (denies the accusation)
"I didn't call you stupid." (implies you really are stupid versus being called stupid)
"I didn't call you stupid." (implies I called someone else stupid)
"I didn't call you stupid." (implies I called you something worse)

Avoid Escalation Enhancers

Don't command, criticize, threaten, preach, placate, analyze, advise, debate, degrade, blame, lecture, label, stereotype, minimize, interrupt, use sarcasm, misuse humor, half-listen, tune out or try to be right. Don't "should" on them!

Expect Anger

Avoid taking it personally! Don't be unnerved by their crying or offended by profanity. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance relate to the grief and loss associated with mental illness and/or substance abuse. Remember the person who is mad at the boss and kicks the cat? To clients and families upset with the disease, the doctor, law enforcement, the system, or whatever, you're the cat!

Tip Of The Iceberg

Angry words represent the tip of the iceberg...understand the underlying layers: fears of abandonment, loss of face, loss of control over a situation, sadness, guilt, and other factors. The current stressor may be the last straw on the overburdened camel's back.

Ignorance Is Not Bliss

Fear of the unknown generates anger. A lack of education, cultural or language barriers, and illiteracy can compound a client's frustration. Even highly educated people experience cognitive deficits during crises. Concisely communicate only what they need to know now.

Conflict Resolution

Here are some techniques to resolve your conflicts with clients:

Clear the air: "We need to talk."
Take time out: "Lets calm down for ten minutes, then meet."
Set ground rules: "No threats or violence...only mutual respect."
Listen first: "Please tell me your view."
Summarize their perspective: "You feel...you think...you're upset about..."
Share your information: "The policy states...the procedure is..."
Provide options: "You may resolve it at this level or talk with the supervisor or file a grievance report..."
Brainstorm solutions: "Let's think of all the possibilities."
Compromise: "Let's meet halfway."
If all else fails, agree to disagree!

Assertion As Needed

If there is no room for compromise and your client must comply for safety's sake, use these techniques:

Make simple requests
Just say "no"
Be a broken record -- calmly, in one or two brief sentences, repeat your request or response each time they argue
Speak in positives
Repeat alternatives
Hot Versus Cold Threats

Hot threats are made in the heat of anger and pose immediate danger: "If you come closer I'll punch you out!" Cold threats are cunning, calculated efforts to control: "I'll get you fired!" or "When I get out of this program you better watch your back!" or "Don't take your eyes off your kids!" They pose future danger.

When dealing with hot threats, talk "down" escalating situations by calming the client down with the methods previously addressed.

When facing cold threats, talking them "up" is imperative for safety. People making cold threats use your traits or personal information against you. They comment about your appearance, sexual preference, age, family, or other sensitive issues or convey knowledge about the kind of car you drive, your children's school or your address. They often threaten via notes or phones. They thrive on secrecy. You must talk "up" to colleagues about the threats, despite embarrassment or fear. You and at least one coworker must confront the manipulation and discuss better ways to solve the problem. When necessary, report threats to the police, Child Protective Services or other agencies, and utilize restraining orders (and stalking laws if available).

Safety First

Intervene early at the first signs of escalation. Don't think that if you ignore them they'll go away!
Keep others away from angry people.
Alert staff members and security guards to be close by.
Avoid appearing to gang up on someone, but if necessary, a show of numbers usually fosters compliance.

Only one person should verbally direct the agitated person. However, additional staff provide support by their presence.
Allow angry people time and space.

Remember "fight or flight," and allow them a graceful way out.

Train staff members how to manage assaults for times when physical containment is required.

Realize that people with frightening hallucinations, paranoid delusions, and/or who are under the influence of substances, usually are not receptive to verbal de-escalation. Medication and special interventions may be required.

Daybreak Counseling Service
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310-995-1202

Anger In Home Affects Children

2007-12-05T12:56:00.000-08:00

Dr. Tony Fiore-The Anger Coach

In a recent letter to “Dear Abby,” a distraught woman wrote that her Asian husband recently lost a great deal of money in the stock market resulting in “…the negativity in our house is so bad that even our kids don’t want to be in the same room as their father. I have considered divorce, but it’s not easily accepted in my culture, and I am afraid of being on my own.”

Continuing, she says ….”I have tried everything — offering to help him, be there for him, trying to appease him, giving him his space, etc. There is no relationship left.”

“…He was always arrogant, difficult to get along with and had a temper — but now it has gone from bad to worse. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

This sad letter illustates several things that we have often heard from our anger management clients:

1. The emotional cost of anger is high, especially in terms of how it affects the children and partners. The angry sullen person often sets the “emotional tone” of the house which affects all family members. Loss of affection and/or alienation of children is difficult to recover from.

2. The angry person must decide to change himself/herself. There are many resources of anger management that would help, including therapy, medication (for some cases), and anger management classes, but they usually only work when the angry person is motivated to change.

Anger management is a self-improvement process. Those who benefit the most recognize the damage their anger is doing to themselves and people they love, and want to do something about it!

Daybreak Counseling Service
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310-995-1202

Daybreak Counseling Service provides anger managment on Decision House

2007-11-30T14:17:00.001-08:00

Daybreak Counseling Service provides anger management classes and one one one anger management coaching for those struggling with stress and rage. The following video features Tracy James an anger coach sent by Daybreak Counseling Service to provide anger management for a resident on the My Network TV show Decision House.

Daybreak Counseling Service
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Addressing Anti Social Behavior in anger management classes

2007-11-28T12:32:00.001-08:00

Evidence Based principals in the field of criminal justice is a fairly new development. Probation departments, courts and prison institutions across the globe are coming into alignment. After years of Meta Analysis authorities are coming to the conclusion that a systematic deployment of proven rehabilitation principles must be adopted.

In an effort to manage anger, Daybreak Counseling Service addresses eight major risk factors for clients who participate in aggressive and violent acts.

1. Antisocial Attitudes
2. Antisocial Peers
3. Antisocial Personality
4. History of antisocial behavior
5. Family
6. Education/Employment
7. Substance Abuse

Antisocial attitudes have been found to be a barrier to effective anger management. For many clients aggression and violence supports their value system. If clients are not challenged to adopt prosocial attitudes clients may exit an anger management class as better communicators. They may learn the ability to manage stress and identify emotions but they will most often add these new skills to their arsenal of antisocial behavior.

While teaching effective anger management techniques anger management instructors should ensure that the environment is supportive of change. Those clients who voice anti social opinions should be immediately challenged and redirected.

Anger Management instructors should be attentive listeners in an effort to identify pro-criminal or antisocial attitudes, values and beliefs in their clients. Anti-social attitudes can be explored and challenged through the use of motivational interviewing.

Antisocial attitudes may be obvious if the client expresses the following:

Pride in delinquent behavior
Close association with anti social peers
An enormous disdain for the law, law enforcement and the criminal justice system
Justification for criminal activity

Daybreak Counseling Service
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What are the 8 tools of Anger Control

2007-11-27T07:38:00.000-08:00

Listed below are the 8 Tools of Anger Control featured in the popular client workbook, "Anger Management for the Twenty-First Century" by Ari Novick, LMFT and Tony Fiore, Ph.D. Learing these tools can help to reduce anger symptoms and help improve relationships. Participants of our anger management programs learn these 8 tools!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tool One — Dealing with stress. This tool teaches skills in effective stress management strategies to help reduce physical, mental and emotional signs of stress.

Tool Two — Empathy Development. Teaches skills in emotional intelligence and empathy. Empathy is the ability to feel what another person feels. Empathy skills reduce anger responses.

Tool Three — Respond instead of React. Teaches ways to deal with situations using better judgement and impulse control. Not reacting to situations can often be a valuable tool in dealing with difficult situations or people.

Tool Four — Change Self-Talk. Changing self-talk can help us become more positive as well as develop more positive outcomes in our lives. Proven techniques and methods explored

Tool Five — Assertive Communication — An exploration of harmful communication styles and a detailed disscussion of the effectiveness of being assertive. Training in expressing feelings and needs.

Tool Six — Adjust Those Expectations. Managing expectations can help reduce frustation. Clients are exposed to 5 skills for managing expectations more effectively

Tool Seven — Forgive, but don't forget. This chapter explores effective ways for forgiving others while not giving up your rights as a person.

Tool Eight — Retreat and Think Things Over. This chapter explores the "freeze frame" technique as well as the concept of "staying in the box" to calm down.

Participants of our anger management programs learn these 8 tools!

AJ Novick Group- Anger Management
333 3rd Street, Suite 4
Laguna Beach, CA 92651
949 715-2694

Contact: Ari Novick, Ph.D.
www.ajnovickgroup.com

About the Author: Ari Novick, Ph.D. is founder of the AJ Novick Group. He is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and expert in the field of anger and stress management. Dr. Novick is also a corporate consultant and educator who has presented on-site corporate workshops and trainings to thousands of employees. To view his anger management websites visit www.ajnovickgroup.com or www.angerclassonline.com

Daybreak Counseling Service
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Anger Management classes for air traffic controllers

2007-11-21T13:20:00.001-08:00

In the summer of 1981 air traffic controllers around the naiton went on strike. The strike lasted two days at that point then President Ronald Regan fired them. Over 12,000 air traffic controllers were out of a job and new hires replaced them. 25 years later these new hires are retiring, almost all at once.

The retirements in conjuction with a new labor contract the FAA finds itself a little short on controllers.

Like many high pressure jobs, where the lives of 100's rely on quick and accurate decision making the life of an air traffic controller can be to say the least stressful.

"We got controllers that are fatigued. We got them working longer times on position, longer workdays, longer work weeks, less breaks in between, and operational errors are on the rise," said Patrick Foray, president of the National Air Traffic Controllers Association. "We haven't had any major accidents. Well, all the signs are leading up to the fact that we're going to."

Stress has been identified as a principle factor in acts of aggression and violence. If individuals are able to manage there anger within a work enviroment the anger is often manifested in their personal life.

An anger management course can teach effective ways to manage stress and prevent verbal and physical aggression. Any professional who is involved in a high pressure occupation owes it to himself/herself and the public to seek help for behavior management.

Daybreak Counseling Service
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Adolescent Anger Management Stratergies

2007-11-21T09:37:00.000-08:00

Adolescent anger management is becoming more prominent in our society. Traditionally, children who enter this last acute phase of bodily and mental development can go through some rough times. As kids enter their preteen and then their teenage years, chaos can ensue at times for everyone involved. A child or young adult may feel that his or her body and mind are out of control occasionally, and the parents and teachers who supervise children at this age may tend to agree. Anger can spring out of nowhere to challenge innocent requests and reasonable expectations. Yet kids between the age of twelve and sixteen sometimes react in unpredictable ways, surprising those around them and even themselves and requiring the intervention of adolescent anger management strategies.

Todays teens face even greater pressures than those of the past. By age eighteen, most have witnessed thousands of murders on television and video games. Some are involved in violent or illegal gang activity. Others come from broken homes where domestic violence and substance abuse are the norm. By the time they start going through puberty, their entire existence may seem out of their control, and they may grow increasingly enraged, acting out their anger in antisocial ways that require adolescent anger management.

Adolescent Anger Management and Juvenile Delinquents

Sadly, many teens experience frustrations that drive them to vent anger toward people or things, breaking civil laws. This type of behavior often leads to incarceration, or at the very least, intervention by parents, teachers, law enforcement officials, and juvenile experts who attempt to train children how to respond in age-appropriate ways. Adolescent anger management programs teach kids individually or in peer groups how to identify negative feelings, work through them in the right kind of ways, seek help when needed, and practice more mature behaviors.

During periods of time spent at juvenile detention centers, teens involved in adolescent anger management programs can learn how to improve their behavior in socially acceptable ways. Therapists can help to point out alternative attitudes and behaviors to teens who have never seen positive responses to everyday irritations modeled for them by responsible adults. They may be able to learn directly from the therapist how to manage difficult feelings, and they can read resource materials or visit websites like anger-management-information.com (site is not complete yet) for more information about this condition, and how to address it. They will find others like themselves who are learning how to get along with people and accept the situations that cannot be changed.

Community Adolescent Anger Management Programs

If you have or work with a teenager that is struggling with angry outbursts and a poor attitude, get in touch with a teacher or psychologist at your childs school or a community social services organization that can direct you to self-help resources or a local adolescent anger management group that might be willing to admit your child. Letting unresolved anger fester or continue to be displayed in dangerous ways can lead to serious consequences. Get your teen the help that is needed for coping with this behavioral disorder.

Steve Hill discusses adolescent anger management. Learn how to live without anger in your or your familys life. Read more informative anger management articles and information at: http://www.anger-management-information.com anger management advice Steve also has a website at: stuttering treatments

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Evidence based practices within anger management classes

2007-11-19T09:36:00.000-08:00

Daybreak Counseling Service, the leader in anger management education and anger management classes moves to incorporate evidence - based practices within its anger management course curriculum.

A growing amount of literature confirms that in addition to targeting specified behaviors such as aggression, drug use, alcohol abuse and other criminal behavior the criminogenic needs of offenders must be addressed. Although anger itself is not a crime it is often a present factor in crimes against another person such as battery, domestic violence, criminal threats and assault.

Anger Management classes teach individuals how to manage stress, communicate effectively, and develop emotional intelligence but such classes do not address the motivation of clients especially if they are court ordered.

Individuals who exhibit chronic acts of anger and aggression often receive great rewards for their behavior. Such behavior may reinforce their status in their community and reinforces their own vision of themselves.

In an effort to manage anger eight major risk factors for the clients must be addressed.

1. Antisocial Attitudes
2. Antisocial Peers
3. Antisocial Personality
4. History of antisocial behavior
5. Family
6. Education/Employment
7. Substance Abuse.

Anger Management classes are not psychotherapy but an educational model in managing anger. Through cognitive instruction rather than process groups clients can be made aware of the above risk factors that may prevent reduced aggression. An effective anger management course should provide referrals to address multiple needs of the clients as well as provide an after care program to support the clients growth.

Daybreak Counseling Service
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310-995-1202

Escalation of Girl Fights

2007-11-16T08:32:00.000-08:00

The term "'b**** fighting" is what some women privately call a pier room brawl that a pack of girls or young women engage in with one another. The term and the behavior is loathsome and offensive. But it was that sort of brawl that claimed the life of 23-year-old Shontae Blanche, and even more shockingly, her 7 month unborn child. The young expectant mother and part time student was killed when another young woman allegedly ran over her and dragged her.

Blanche had tried to break up a fight between a dozen women at a service station in South Los Angeles in early November. The women were young, "Black," and reportedly some had ties with gang members. They had gathered at the station to battle it out following a dispute between two of the women.

The altercation did more than claim the life of a young mother. It tossed the ugly glare on an age old problem that has grown worse in the past few years. And that's the escalation in violence by and among young women.

A decade ago the Center for Women's Policy Studies published a landmark study on girls and violence. More than one third of girls they surveyed said that they had engaged in physical fights within a year's time. Nearly 20 percent said they carried weapons.

And nearly half said they believed that girls were nearly as violent as boys. A Justice Department study found that from the mid-1980s to the mid-1990s the number of women jailed for violent crimes had more than doubled.

A decade later the willingness of more young women, especially black women, to resort to fisticuffs and even weapons to settle disputes or commit crimes has become an even bigger problem.

Girls Inc., a non profit advocacy group that monitors violence by and toward young women, found that far more black girls were injured in school fights than white girls.

The spiraling cycle of violence that entraps many black girls was on naked and tormenting display last year when nine black girls were hauled into a Long Beach, California court in shackles.

The girls were charged with a violent hate crime attack on three young white women on Halloween night in 2006 in Long Beach.

The sight of so many girls standing trial at one time on a charge, especially the hate crimes charge, was rare. But the sight of so many black girls in a court docket and increasingly in America's juvenile jails and prisons has become anything but rare.

"Black Women" in some states are being "imprisoned" at "alarming rates." And they are being jailed at younger ages than ever. An American Bar Association study in 2001 found that teen girls account for more than one-quarter of the juvenile arrests.

They are charged with more violent crimes, and are being shoved back into detention centers after release, in some cases even faster than boys.

The ABA has not done a follow-up study since then to determine if there's been any change in the troubling dilemma so many black girls face in the juvenile system. But, almost certainly, the high arrest and incarceration rate for black teen girls is likely the same if not greater today, and many of them are there for violent crimes.

They have engaged in physical fights and assaults, and even school yard brawls with other girls, or even boys.

The explanations for the up tick in female violence are varied. The near glorification of the male code of toughness to get ahead in business, politics, and sport has virtually been enshrined as a prized virtue in society. Women have not been immune from it.

There's the bloat of Gladiator spectacles such as WWF matches with women tossing each other around in a ring, posturing, swaggering, and cussing like drunken sailors, and barroom toughs. The toughness virtue has even slipped into politics. In polls, women by big margins said the thing they admire most about Hillary Clinton is her toughness.

Many young black women are continually exposed to violence in their communities. They have ties with male gang members, they themselves are members of gangs, or they have committed assaults.

The Center for Women's Policy Studies also found that many of the women that engaged in physical fights have been victims of rape, assault, or robbery.

This further imprints the tacit stamp that violence is the pervasive method to control, dominate, bully, and gain advantage over people and situations.

There's a double dilemma for the girls and young women that commit violent acts. The risk is great that they can be maimed, killed or wind up serving a long prison stretch.

And since violence is still thought of almost exclusively as a male preserve, there's a near total absence of studies on the causes and consequences of female violence.

That means even fewer fewer resources, programs and support outlets to keep at-risk girls and young women out of harm's way and from harming other women. The "Blanche Killing" is tragic proof of that.

Earl Ofari Hutchinson is an author and political analyst. His new book is The Latino Challenge to Black America: Towards a Conversation between African-Americans and Hispanics (Middle Passage Press and Hispanic Economics New York).

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Do you have trouble shutting your mouth when angry?

2007-11-14T09:58:00.000-08:00

"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." If you answered yes to the title question I am sure you have realized the truth in this quote by Ambrose Bierce. In order to gain control over your tongue you must be determined to see things differently. People who lose their temper tend to view life in a negative and judgmental way. You have the ability to direct your mind away from angry and upset feelings. You need to realize that you can have peace of mind instead of conflict.

This article will cover a variety of mindsets and behaviors that will teach you how to keep your mouth shut when you are angry.

1) Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Remember that you have two ears and only one mouth. Use them in this proportion. It's better to be a good listener than to be a good speaker. Listen carefully to what the other person has to say. Take your time before giving them an answer.
2) Don't be double minded. You can't have peace of mind and conflict at the same time. Be clearly focused on the outcome that you want. (Example: "I want to go to bed tonight feeling close to my partner.").
3) You can't be right and be married. You have to decide "Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?" Trying to be right will destroy the connection between you. Instead, strive to do the right thing.
4) Don't jump to conclusions. Slow down and think through the situation.
5) Don't say the first thing that comes into your head. I often hear people say, "I cannot keep from saying the thoughts I have." You can and you must.
6) As I was writing this, my daughter reminded me of Thumper's quote in the movie, "Bambi". "If you can't say something nice…don't say nothing at all." This is always good advice.
7) Don't overreact to criticism. Beneath the criticism is an underlying message. Criticism is a smoke screen for deeper feelings. I compare criticism to cheese on a mousetrap. What happens when the mouse takes the cheese? He gets his tail caught in the trap. That's what happens when you take the bait of criticism. Don't take the bait. Listen for the underlying message.
8) Stay away from negative thoughts and statements like, "I hate this!" "This is driving me crazy!" "I can't stand this!" These types of statements are like throwing gasoline on a fire. You are making it much more intense. Replace these with positive declarations such as "I can handle this." "This is not that big of a deal." "I have unshakeable peace of mind." "Nothing bothers me." Your thoughts will direct your emotions. Choose positive thoughts that help you keep your peace.
9) If someone uses absolute terms like "always", "never", "everybody", and "nobody"; don't take them literally. These are emotional terms. If your wife says "You never take me anywhere." and you know that's not true; don't take it as a personal attack. Try and hear her underlying request that she needs to know she is special and she wants to spend some time with you.
10) Don't overreact and don't give advice too quickly. This only trains people not to be open with you.
11) Don't try to get in the last word. It's not worth the damage you could do by trying to win or be heard.
12) If you are angry repeat this scripture based verse in your head, "In all things be self controlled." Say it over and over so that you don't get derailed into an argument.
13) There is life and death in the spoken word. Make sure your words build people up versus tearing them down.
14) Remember to breathe. Stick with the basics. When you are upset, take a few deep breaths.
15) Strive to use an approach that promotes honor and respect. This can make the difference between a twenty minute argument and a 3 day war.
16) Realize that your anger most likely is not going to help solve the problem and may actually make the matter worse.
17) Calmness will help you get to the heart of the matter. This leads to conflict resolution. Trying to be right or show your might will lead to conflict.
18) Staying connected is more important than making your point.

The only one who is responsible for the way your life works out is you. You cannot change the past, but you can take responsibility for your future. All it takes is a decision. Decide to live a life of discipline rather than one of regret. Remember that discipline weighs ounces and regret weighs tons. Develop the power of a tamed tongue.

Author's Bio

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner. Read more of his articles at http://www.TheRelationshipSpecialist.com
Sign up for his free newsletter at http://www.PowerfulRelationshipAdvice.com

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Anger Management and Resentment

2007-11-05T14:08:00.000-08:00

Resentment is an extremely bitter diet, and eventually poisonous. I have no desire to make my own toxins.
~Neil Kinnock

To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.
~William H. Walton

In my experience, I have come to believe that physical and emotional pains are the most common precursors to anger and aggression. Pain has a way of adhering itself to our conscious like no other emotion. Have you ever noticed how clearly you can remember the pain of broken relationship or the strike of flame burning against the skin? We often forget the joys of life. We forget our accomplishments and victories, but failures and disappointments cling to our thoughts like a vice. We often carry hurt and suffering from our childhood into adulthood and as we grow older, it bitters our hearts and sometimes our minds.

(We will discuss how anger can affect your mental health in the chapter entitled Anger Management and the Asylum).

As mentioned before, our pain can become so unbearable that we slowly begin to mask it with irritability, aggression and then rage.

We can all empathize with a loved one who is suffering from a cold, flu or some serious malady. We expect them to be irritable, because they need a little extra tender loving care. Fortunately, the duration of physical pain is limited. Even in the extreme case of torture, victims have expressed the assurance and hope that, “this to shall pass.” It is our emotional wounds that seem to persist.

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Anger Management and Jealousy-Shante's Story

2007-11-02T08:36:00.000-07:00

“Love sees sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but jealousy sees the sharpest for it is love and hate at the same time.” –Arab Proverb

The two women…both in their early 20’s struggled on the concrete walkway outside a South Central Los Angeles apartment building. Resident’s necks stretched outside their windows searching for the screams and expletives. It is still uncertain where the knife came from. The two women scratched and kicked. Shante claims she blacked out and then found herself holding a bloody knife, staring down at the woman who broke up her home. Later, she would discover that she had stabbed her husband’s mistress seven times. Confused by betrayal, fear and rage, Shante took off running in a psychotic sprint, leaving her one- year-old son and cheating husband behind.

Six months later, Shante was stopped by the police for failing to yield at a stop sign. After the officer discovered a warrant in her name, she was promptly placed under arrest. Due to a rare occurrence of grace and favor from the criminal justice system, Shante was released from jail after two weeks. She was placed on probation and ordered to attend a twenty-four hour of anger management course.

I don’t approve of this type of the violent and jealous act committed by Shante. But after hearing her life story I could understand how and why she did it. Maybe her Superior Court judge experienced the same empathetic moment I did.

Shante’s grandmother raised her. At five- years- old she was abandoned mother, a young drug addict and prostitute. At twelve, a family member sexually abused Shante. At sixteen, her grandmother died. She was forced to move away from her childhood friends, change schools and live with a distant aunt. Shante’s aunt had five children of her own and was now housing Shante and her two younger siblings. Being of babysitting age Shante, quickly became the secondary caregiver for seven children. In sixteen years, she had already experienced more abuse and abandonment than most would experience in their entire lifetime. She was depressed and loosing a grip on her sanity. That is when she met James. He was twenty-years-old and quickly became her best friend and confidant, her father and teacher, her lover and first love, her savior. Within a six-months, they were living together and three years later they were married and expecting a child.

For a year or two she clung to James, even knowing he was cheating on her. She vowed to hold on to her family with her life. She told herself as long as I don’t have to see or hear about these other women I will be ok. But when her husband’s mistress boldly knocked on the door for an evening rendezvous something inside her snapped.

It is important for you to recognize that jealousy is more about your insecurities than the infidelity of your mate. The jealous person may act out a very wide range of responses: clinging dependency, violent rage at the competitor or the partner, self-criticism, depression with suicidal thoughts, hurt and resentment of the partner’s lack of devotion and resistance, social embarrassment, revenge, loneliness, and regrets.

Needless to say, the best protection against jealousy is a good relationship. In addition to having a good relationship, make sure your self-esteem is intact before a pending break up. Understand that you are a worthy individual, in or out of a relationship. Tell yourself, “I am a valuable, lovable person regardless of whether you love me or not. It hurts, but I can handle it. I will get on with my life.” Sometimes the best way to get over a broken heart is to begin carefully looking for a better relationship. You may also need some time alone.

Some simple techniques to deal with the pain of a broken relationship may include: staying active. You may want to try hiking, swimming or going to the gym. Distract yourself with friends, activities and hobbies. There are several groups that cater to singles. These groups vary from crocheting to deep sea diving. You may also want to commit yourself to work. You can use the extra time to build your business or work on a promotion. If you do nothing else take some time for self-evaluation and improvement. Working on you is the best investment you can ever make.

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Anger Management and Jealousy

2007-11-01T08:49:00.000-07:00

Every generation establishes it’s own standard of beauty. Women throughout history have been made immortal through printed word, paintings, sculptures, photography and film. The Mona Lisa, Venus De Milo, May West, Elizabeth Taylor, Cindy Crawford, and my favorite Halle Berry, are worshipped for their features and form. Men clamor to be in their presence. These women have been envied by men and praised by their peers. Helen of Troy was one of such women. She is described as perhaps the most inspired character in all Greek literature. They called her Helen, “the face that launched a thousand ships.” Every red-blooded male in Greece who had heard of the gorgeous Helen, dreamed of possessing her. A whole war, one that lasted for ten years, was fought over her. Kings risked their kingdoms to have her. Those who could not have her became fueled with jealousy. All the while she gloried in it all.

According to Wikapedia The free encyclopedia, Marilyn Monroe, another famed beauty in history allegedly had affairs with: Joe Dimagio President John F. Kennedy, Henry Fonda, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Peter Lawford, Marlon Brando, Howard Keel, Jerry Lewis, Clark Gable, Howard Hughes, Yves Montand, Milton Berle and Elia Kazan. It has also been alleged she had a one-night stand with Joan Crawford.

Monroe was found dead by her live in house keeper, Mrs. Eunice Marray in the bedroom of her Brentwood, California home on August 5, 1962. Monroe was thirty-six years old. Her death was apparently caused by an overdose of barbiturates, although as with the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, several theories have sprung up.

Crimes of passion flood our popular media today, from movies like Fatal Attraction to the real life court sagas of the O.J. Simpson trial. Such crimes of passion are also feul for the anger management industry. Anger Management Classes are full of men and women who have lost control of there tempers due to jealousy.

In the past, it was the image of the restrictive and abusive husband that came to mind when speaking of jealousy and relationships, but the tables are turning. This green-eyed monster called jealousy has devoured many women as well. Shante’s Story, my next post is proof of that fact.

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Anger Management vs. Incarceration

2007-11-01T08:39:00.000-07:00

A recent ruling and sentencing by a Long Beach Juvenile Superior Court has a community in outrage.

Nine African-American juveniles were convicted of assaulting 3 white women on Halloween 2006. Prosecutors made attempts to label the altercation as a brutal hate crime.

The juveniles remained in custody for approximately 3 months and were recently released on probation. The juveniles were sentenced to 60 days home detention, 250 hours of community service and undergo anger management classes.

The victims of the assault were angered as they anticipated a harsher sentence.

The juvenile court is built on the premise that rehabilitation is favored over punishment when working with youth. The courts ruling substantiates the effectiveness of Anger Management Classes.

Juvenile courts as well as adult courts rely on anger management classes as a rehabilitation tool. Effective anger management education centers, such as Daybreak Counseling Service provide an alternative to long prison terms for violent offenders. Such practices are beneficial to the offenders and cost effective to city governments, as housing offenders can be a taxing to financially strained counties.

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Anger Management and Accountability

2007-10-18T09:44:00.001-07:00

An anger management class can consist of men and women of various ages, nationalities and socio-economic backgrounds. Students are often self-reffered, referred by their human resources departments or ordered by the court. Despite these differences all clients have one thing in common, they have problems managing their anger.

An anger management class is an excellent way to meet others with a common struggle. Many clients enter a class because of relationship problems. Some clients find there way in the rooms becuase of trouble on the job. Regardless of how they come, they often find a sense of releif knowing they are not alone.

Although each class is structured as an educational process it is inevitable that bonding takes place within the anger management group. Group members become a resource for one another. They hold each other accountable for the information they receive and the commitments they have made.

It is not uncommon to see a doctor and a car mechanic talking outside in the parking lot after a class, or a young female college student meeting for coffee with a soccer mom.

At Daybreak Counseling Service anger management classes and executive coaching are taught by Masters level professionals. Our students and facilitators enjoy a supportive and non-judgmental educational experience.

In our open discussion anger management classes you will learn tools to handle your anger as well as meet allies to help you deal with the pressures of life. Anger management classes are currently held in Long Beach, Santa Monica, Gardena, Pasadena, and Van Nuys serving the Los Angeles area. We also provide nation-wide one on one telephone coaching.

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Anger Management and Communication Part 3- Journaling….an anger outlet

2007-10-16T11:41:00.000-07:00

Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them.
~James Fallows

When a man sends you an impudent letter, sit right down and give it back to him with interest ten times compounded, and then throw both letters in the wastebasket.
~Elbert Hubbard

Journaling is a form of communication that drains the stress from your mind and flushes the pain from your heart.

Your painful emotions are filtered into a keyboard, pen or pencil and trapped in the pages of a notebook or computer screen. As you analyze your thoughts and emotions on a page, you will become aware of your various triggers. It will become clear to you how you act and react in various situations. When you see thoughts and actions on paper, you will be able to recognize that your past connects to your present. You will see how your past, present and future all relate to one another. Finally, you will be able to manipulate the variables in your life to plot out the future you want. The purchase of a $5.00 journal; may be one of the best investments you can ever make. Journaling is a technique that may save you a lifetime of tension, confusion and loneliness.

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Utah school bus driver shows poor anger management skills

2007-10-16T09:12:00.000-07:00

Granite School District officials on Friday reassigned a bus driver who called students "brown trash" to a warehouse job.

The district reprimanded Kindig for using derogatory terms to address students who were being extremely loud and rowdy while he tried to get students off the bus at Bonneville Junior High because it had mechanical problems.

Some students said he yelled at them and called them "brown garbage." One student recorded some of the Sept. 25 incident with her cell phone.

Assistant superintendents David Gourley and Martin Bates and human resource representatives made the decision to reassign Kindig. Gourley, who oversees the transportation department, said that until the incident, Kindig had been an excellent employee, dependable and always on time.

Although Kindig used "abusive language" with "racial overtones," he had never had any disciplinary problems before, Gourley said. Still, Gourley said Kindig will be watched and evaluated

Verbal abuse and racial slurs in the workplace amy not always be consistent with an attitude of predjudice. Most often those who make such comments are in need of anger management classes. Poor communication skills and a lack of stress management tools can lead people into saying and doing things they do not really mean.

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Grey' Anatomy and House behind the hospital curtains

2007-10-09T11:06:00.000-07:00

Hit dramas such as Grey's Anatomy and House t, cheating spouses, drug impaired physcians, workaholic adminstrators, suicidal ake us into the private lives of television's most eroticized and nuerotic doctors. Story lines include love trianglessurgeons, poor patient/doctor boundaries, stressed nurses and hospital employees in desparate need of anger management classes.

Although such shows are purely fictional they have opened the eyes of audiences and patients to the fact that doctors are people too. Behind the masks and rubber gloves are young men and women who struggle to manage anger, stress and fear. Our doctors are men and women who are concerned about school loan payments, malpractice insurance and the overwhelming load caused by a broken heatlh care system.

No one can deny the fact that doctors are brillant individuals. The act of healing is not only a science but an art. Often times the pursuit of knowledge can allow skilled physcians to neglect there own emotional well-being.

Anger management classes and executive coaching for nurses, suregeons and general practioners are designed to teach neglected soft skills such as effective communication, emotional intelligence and stress management.

A distuptive or emotionally unbalanced physcian may make for great television but in the world lives are at stake.

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Police officer ordered to anger management classes after shooting

2007-10-05T10:05:00.000-07:00

HOUSTON (Map, News) - An off-duty Pasadena police officer who shot at a man in a road rage incident earlier this year was placed on probation and ordered to attend anger management classes Wednesday.

A jury found Marcus Justin Kacz guilty of deadly conduct. Visiting Judge Jim Larkin sentenced Kacz to 18 months probation for the misdemeanor. In addition to anger management classes, Kacz was fined $400, ordered to do community service and to undergo random urine tests.

"I think you made a big mistake and showed bad judgment," Larkin told Kacz.

Prosecutors said Kacz, 26, chased a driver who cut him off. Kacz, who was not in uniform, shot at a passenger in the sport utility vehicle at least three times.

Defense attorney Greg Cagle said Kacz followed the sport utility vehicle because the driver was running red lights and driving dangerously.

"I'm disappointed with the verdict, but he's a young, smart guy and we'll appeal it," Cagle said in a story for Wednesday's online edition of the Houston Chronicle.

Sgt. W.J. Fojt testified that it is against Pasadena Police Department policy for off-duty officers to pursue suspects.

"The evidence was against him," Michael Dannenbaum, jury foreman, told the newspaper. "He did not discharge the firearm to protect himself, and Pasadena's policy prohibits off-duty officers from pursuing chases."

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The consequences of Anger

2007-10-04T13:54:00.000-07:00

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
–Ambrose Bierce

Anger and the ATM

At the time I am writing this post, the average anger management class is going to cost you between $600 and $2500. In addition to court fees most courts will order 12-52 weeks of anger management. This adds up to hours of sitting in class, time away from your family, time away from your job - as you may know time is money.

You may be saying to yourself, “Well my anger has not caused me any problems with the court or the police.” My response to you is “not yet.”

Denise was born and raised in Italy. She and her family moved to the United States when she was thirteen. She found adjustment to her new California lifestyle challenging. Denise felt as if she just did not fit in. Part of her difficulty was due to her slow absorption of the English language. During her high school years, she developed the habit of not expressing herself. She felt that if she voiced her opinions or her thoughts she would either be ridiculed or considered unintelligent because of her broken English. For years she kept her thoughts and emotions inside.

Now at twenty-one Denise spoke fluent English with little to no accent. She was a petite girl, 5’2 and no more than 105 pounds. She had long brown hair that she pulled into a ponytail. Tanned and toned, she entered my office in a fitted Jennifer Lopez sweat-suit. She had obviously assimilated to the L.A. culture. Although beautiful she still retained a quiet rural innocence.

Denise was a student at a local college when she found herself in a disagreeable and eventually costly position. If you have ever attended a major college you can understand how difficult and frustrating it is to find a parking space. Imagine that you’re late for class, and your building is halfway across the campus. Well the parking Gods smiled on Denise that day. As she pulled into the parking lot she slipped into a cozy outlined space waiting for her. With some time to spare, Denise applied her lip-gloss. She was using her rearview mirror when she noticed a meter maid joyfully detailing cars with parking tickets. As she watched for a while she noticed a trend. The meter maid only appeared to ticket students of races and nationalities not kin to her own. She felt confused and a little angry, but who was she to get involved, it was none of her business. Denise sucked it in and went to class.

The next day she witnessed the same thing. The exact same meter made appeared to be targeting and ticketing every student expect the ones of her own race. This time Denise was enraged. Why this is America! How could someone be allowed to continue such a discriminating act? She decided to speak her mind. Fuelled with the passion of injustice, Denise approached the meter maid. She explained how the meter maid’s actions were a violation of the student’s civic rights. She appealed to her since of equality. After all the meter maid was an African-American female. She could certainly relate to the sting of prejudice. Denise thought to herself, “Doesn’t she know about the women’s suffrage movement, the struggle of Dr. King and the NAACP?” Obviously, the meter maid did not know of Dr. King’s the struggle or did not care, because she promptly called campus police and had Denise arrested for obstructing the duties of a public officer.

Denise made bail at the price of $5000. She retained a lawyer at $250 an hour and was granted probation by the court, which charged her $290 in court fees. She is currently serving a three- year probation sentence and pays $100 a month to the probation department. By the time Denise completes her probation she would have made several trips to the ATM and paid close to $13,000 or more.

Believe it or not, the financial loss is the least destructive consequence of anger. In fact when we speak of “person centered aggression”, it is the cost to the victim that supersedes any financial loss. Let us take a look at how anger can destroy the lives of others around you.

Shannon Munford M.A.
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Temper Temper

2007-09-25T14:53:00.000-07:00

Written By Daniel Steele
Baltimore Sun

This was a great weekend for anger-management trainers, and a bad one for proponents of such virtues as self-control and professionalism. Milton Bradley (in a tandem with umpire Eric Winters) and DeAngelo Hall seemed a little touchy. Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy, who we'll discuss in a subsequent post, took it to another level.

* The Padres are probably going to miss the playoffs because of what went down among Bradley, Winters, manager Bud Black and first base coach Bobby Meacham. Has a player-umpire confrontation ever done so much damage? The only one that comes to mind is the Roberto Alomar spitting incident, and that damaged Alomar's image more than anything. It didn't affect the pennant race; the Orioles already were locked into a playoff berth (which tells you how long ago it happened). It's interesting to note, though, that both the Alomar case and the blow-up in San Diego involve allegations of umpire name-calling. It's just as interesting that the reaction by fans and others has been that no matter what vile thing Winters is accused of saying to Bradley (Meacham, the coach, backed up Bradley's story), it's all Bradley's fault for taking the alleged bait, a textbook case of the victim's reputation preceding him. If Bradley is Ron Artest, then Winters appears to be a combination of Ben Wallace and the fan who threw the cup.

Meanwhile, manager Bud Black has to be a basket case by now. He was only doing his job, trying to keep his player from bum-rushing the ump and getting suspended -- and he ends up wrenching the guy's knee. It's a miracle, actually, that it hasn't happened more often, the way some players and coaches have to be restrained sometimes -- and how often umps keep arguments going long after they should have ended. OK, it's another one of those dumb baseball traditions, umpires and managers/players going eye-to-eye and saliva gland-to-saliva gland. But it's completely unacceptable from both sides in every other sport known to man -- and thus, there are no other incidents that come to mind of someone blowing out an ACL arguing with an ump.

Bottom line: Bradley should get a refund for the anger-management classes he took a few years ago; Winters, the ump, should sign up for some of his own, and Black should work on his footwork and leverage for next time he's wrestling one of his own players.

* If what DeAngelo Hall did on Sunday in Atlanta when his Falcons lost to Carolina has ever been matched -- he was personally responsible for 67 penalty yards on one possession, including two personal fouls -- I beg you to let me know here. And it happened to be on the drive on which Carolina tied the game and never looked back. Plus, all the penalties were against wideout Steve Smith, and the last one was, basically, for running his mouth too much after the play was over -- a third-down play that was about to force Carolina to try a long field goal, but instead kept the drive alive.

And, as Smith himself described the so-called "trash talk,'' "They were real minute ... just real immature stuff.'' Take his word for it, he's an expert in the field.

Now, talking stuff per se is not a problem, especially if it's good stuff and a player can back it up. Hall usually scores on both counts. He was, in fact, backing it up against Smith that day, until that drive. Then, a 37-yard interference call. Then a cheap shot on Smith at the line of scrimmage away from the ball. Then the mouthing off to Smith as he left the field.

Now, new coach Bobby Petrino plans to discipline Hall, and he hashed out ideas with his veterans, which tells you that it isn't just Petrino who's mad about this. Hall buried his own teammates by getting caught up in some stupid personal feud that could have been settled by a bunch of pithy quotes in the locker room after the game.

Bottom line: looks like the Falcons didn't get all the poison out of their locker room when Michael Vick was sent up the river.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
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310-995-1202

Daybreak Meets Decision House....Again!

2007-09-21T11:53:00.000-07:00

For the second time in two months a representatvie from Daybreak Counseling Service has provided coaching services on the MyNetwork TV reality show “Decision House”.

Decision House follows real-life couples whose relationships are on the verge of collapse. With everything to lose, the couple moves into a house to confront issues like financial hardship and infidelity, all under 24/7 scrutiny by relationship experts and family law judges. After a week behind closed doors, the couple must face the expert panel and determine the fate of their marriage.

Last month Daybreak Counseling Service was contacted my the shows producers in an effort to find a female anger management counselor to intervene in the life of a bittered housewife. Tracy James and anger management insturctor in Daybreak’s Van Nuys office was called upon. This show is scheduled to air Wednesday, October 24th, 2007.

Yesterday, Shannon Munford the owner of Daybreak Counseling Service was asked to provide life coaching services to a newly wed husband who has failed to “step up to the plate”. Shannon challenged the young man to take responsibilty for his new wife and his past behavior.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
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310-995-1202

Anger Management Classes-Daybreak Counseling Service

2007-09-18T20:23:00.000-07:00

Daybreak Counseling Service provides quality anger management classes, anger management courses and anger management executive coaching. Classes are taught by Masters level professional in a non-judgemental enviroment. Anger Management classes are available to adults, adolescents, couples. Seminars are available for corporations and goverment agencies.

www.daybreakservices.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
http://myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202

Lava Flow-The Anger Management Game 1.0

2007-09-11T08:32:00.000-07:00

I am proud to announce that Daybreak Counseling Service has added a unique weapon to its arsenal against anger.

Lava Flow-The Anger Management Game was launced yesterday. This new Flash Quiz game is designed to help clients learn more about anger management education.

Lava Flow- The Anger Management Game is the first in the line of many interactive teaching tools that will be introduced by Daybreak Counseling Service. Although our first game may not be state of the art virtual muliti-player game play we feel it is a good start to a great future.

PLAY LAVA FLOW NOW

Daybreak Counseling Service
Shannon Munford M.A.
www.daybreakservices.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
http://myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202

Media Frenzy for Anger Management Information

2007-09-11T08:29:00.001-07:00

Anderson & Anderson Certified Anger Management are being inundated by print, television and radio personalities for appearances and interviews. George Anderson and Shannon Munford were featured in a front page article in the Daily Breeze Newspaper which appeared on Labor Day.

A therapist from Shannon’s company will appear on the premiere episode of the “Decision House” TV show on My Network TV Channel 13 at 8 p.m. Wednesday. During the episode, the counselor works with a feuding couple.

Carlos Todd was interviewed on Sept. 6, by the local CBS affiliate in Charlotte, North Carolina. Several weeks ago, he was interviewed for an article which appeared in the local news paper.

Colbert Williams, whose practice is based in Lancaster, CA. has appeared on a local talk show, interviewed for an upcoming CNN segment on anger management and was the subject of a newspaper article on workplace anger.

Gregory Kyles was contacted during the last week by the Montel Williams show.

George Anderson has been contacted by The Tyra Banks Show, Dr. Phil, MTV, ESPN, Toronto Star and the Today Show. Currently, a sitcom is in the works based on the Anderson & Anderson anger management practice.

All of this media interest and coverage is increasing the public’s awareness of anger management in general and the Anderson & Anderson model in particular.

George Anderson, MSW, BCD
www.andersonservices.com

Taking office rage into the ring

2007-09-04T07:25:00.000-07:00

DAVID ANDREATTA
September 3, 2007

WHEN CO-WORKERS ATTACK: REALITY TV SHOW UNLEASHES WORKPLACE AGGRESSION

If the caustic title of the e-mail, "You Are Worthless," was not enough to make the information technology worker on the receiving end look over his shoulder, perhaps its venomous substance did.

"I hope some day the rest of the office sees you for the small . . . pathetic IT loser you are and beats you within an inch of your life in the parking lot," read the message sent through annoyingcoworker.net, an online service that allows workers exasperated with colleagues to confront them with anonymous e-mails.

Verbal outbursts, furtive acts of cubicle sabotage and spontaneous destruction of furniture abound in the modern workplace. The office rage has even extended into cyberspace, spawning online forums where workers detail their gripes with the gum-snapping in the next pod.

Now a New York-based film production company is looking to tap the unbridled vitriol of pencil pushers everywhere for a reality television show that would pit adversarial co-workers against each other in full-on fisticuffs.

The brainchild of Red Line Films, Office Fight would have colleagues agree to train for two weeks with a professional pugilist and ultimately duke out their differences over three rounds in their office or a gym. The company is now soliciting volunteers for a pilot.

A recent stroll around the financial district in Toronto, perhaps the citadel of office culture in Canada, revealed no apparent shortage of repressed aggression bursting from the buttoned-up collars on Bay Street.

"Oh, I could think of a few people right now that I'd like to fight," said Mark, 26, an impeccably groomed law student who inhaled a Players outside his corporate law office recently with the edgy enthusiasm of a man on the brink of a breakdown.

For three months he has been articling at the firm, which, along with his last name, he asked not be published for fear of recrimination. Pushy partners and associates were working him to the bone, he said. But it was the constant tink, tink, tink of fingernails being clipped in their offices that was pushing Mark overboard.

"Just seeing them every day at this point is enough to make me want to fight them," he said. "I mean, cutting your fingernails in the office? It's disgusting!"

Two blocks north, nail clippers could offer a welcome respite from the tap, tap, tap that 31-year-old insurance adjuster Adam said he endures day in and day out at the hands of a female colleague with overgrown and intricately decorated nails.

"Give me the clippers, I'll cut them myself," said Adam, who works for a major insurance firm and asked that his last name and the name of his company not be printed. "I wouldn't fight her over it because she's a girl, but there are days I'd like to pull them out with a pair of pliers."

Workplace horror stories are as common as a filched sandwich from the lunchroom refrigerator.

There is the know-it-all colleague who suffers from smartest-person-in-the-room syndrome; the overbearing boss whose criticism is as gentle as Leona Helmsley, and the gossip so vicious a sixth-grade girl is tame by comparison.

Despite the irritation, 54 per cent of respondents in an online survey conducted last year by truejobs.com said they had never considered confronting their tormentor.

Workers tend to keep their grievances with others bottled up because they fear a backlash and because they believe their gripes won't be taken seriously, said Kevin Kelloway, a professor of management at Saint Mary's University in Nova Scotia.

"Most of us don't have the option of leaving our job, and if we confront someone and it goes wrong, you're going to have to live with it every day," Dr. Kelloway said. "The most likely reaction is that a supervisor will tell you to grow up and deal with it."

Over the years, he has heard countless instances of workplace violence, from the underling who threatened colleagues with a hunting knife to a subordinate defecating in his boss's car. He said that by far the most common complaint is that a co-worker isn't pulling his or her weight.

The inclination to avoid confrontation has given rise to a host of websites that provide a forum for workers to gripe.

Annoyingcoworker.net is loaded with hostile ("You are pathetic ... and everybody hates you") and at times humorous ("When you eat onions for lunch your breath smells like baby poo ...") e-mails sent through the site to recipients unaware of their irksome ways.

At another site, disgruntledworkforce.com, people shielded by the anonymity of the Internet rant without consequences about their "pointless meetings" and their "lazy, disgusting co-workers."

Some people, however, take their anger public.

A 2006 survey of about 2,900 workers in the United States found that 41 per cent reported experiencing some form of psychological aggression, including being threatened or having obscenities shouted at them. Six per cent said they were victims of physical violence.

In Canada, about 1,000 violent incidents a day are reported in the workplace, according to Statistics Canada, although the vast majority are in professions that deal directly with the public, such as driving a bus or taxi.

Aaron Schat, an assistant professor of organizational behaviour at McMaster University who worked on the U.S. poll, sees what he calls "covert aggression" like spreading rumours as being particularly damaging to workplace peace.

"People tend to complain to other people and just seethe and that's not healthy either," Dr. Schat said. "Confrontation can be useful and good, but it really does depend on the nature of the issue and the type of confrontation."

Bullies at work

On a day intended to give labourers across the country an escape from the stress of work, millions are fretting about returning to their jobs because of a workplace bully, a recent survey suggests.

Nearly half of all workers in the United States reported having suffered or witnessed workplace bullying such as verbal insults, job sabotage and abuse of authority, according to a Zogby Interactive poll conducted for the Workplace Bullying Institute.

The survey found that 37 per cent of workers are currently being pushed around or have been bullied by a colleague at some point in their lifetime, and 40 per cent of those people said harassment had pushed them to quit in the past.

"It's clearly a silent epidemic," said Gary Namie, director of the institute, a non-profit organization based in Washington State seeking to eradicate workplace aggression.

Forty per cent of victims reported never complaining about the bullying, while 62 per cent said notifying their boss had resulted either in no change in the behaviour or an escalation of it. Perhaps that is because bosses were identified as the culprits in nearly three-quarters of bullying cases.

Women reported being victimized more than men - 57 per cent to 43 per cent - and said their aggressors were far more likely to be other women. Aggression perpetrated by men was inflicted almost evenly on men and women.

The online poll surveyed 7,740 workers across the United States in August.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
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http://myspace.com/angermanagementteacher
310-995-1202

Taming Rage

2007-09-03T18:28:00.000-07:00

Anger-management firms get a steady stream of clients. A therapist from one Gardena company will be on a TV show this week.

By Sandy Mazza
Staff Writer, Daily Breeze

When his girlfriend told him that her stepfather hit her, Gary raced to the man’s house to confront him.

Filled with rage, he throttled the older man until friends pulled them apart. Police were called, and Gary was arrested on suspicion of assault.

A judge sentenced him to probation and 10 anger-management counseling sessions.

Gary’s inability to control his anger may be a difficult personal struggle for him, but for the men and women who operate anger-management programs, it is part of a very profitable cottage industry.

For his sentence, Gary chose to visit Daybreak Counseling Service in Gardena. He joined five other court-appointed participants for the session.

They spent an hour talking about their anger, and the problems it created, in the warm second-floor office in downtown Gardena.

Gary said his anger problems are going to take a lot of work to fix.

“I don’t think (this class) is going to be enough,” said Gary, who didn’t give his last name. “I haven’t been able to control myself very much. I can’t even think when I get angry. That day (during the fight), people were grabbing me. I told them I was OK just so I could leave and fight the guy again.”

Unlike domestic violence prevention programs, anger-management counseling is not regulated by any government agency. Anyone with the motivation can start a program and charge any fee.

But when people lose their temper, the man they’re most likely to deal with is George Anderson. Anderson - the founder of Anderson & Anderson Anger Management program - has a near monopoly on the county’s programs. When judges order convicted criminals to attend anger-management programs, they give them a list of programs certified by Anderson.

Anderson is a psychotherapist and an expert in domestic violence prevention and anger management. He provides counseling at offices in Lawndale and Brentwood. But the majority of his business is training other anger-management providers.

Anderson trained Shannon Munford, who then founded Daybreak Counseling Service, where he hands out Anderson’s 120-page anger-management guide, “Gaining Control of Ourselves,” to all of his clients.

Munford opened the program about six years ago, and now has five locations in the county, including the Gardena office.

A therapist from his company will appear on the premiere episode of the “Decision House” TV show on My Network TV Channel 13 at 8 p.m. Wednesday. During the episode, the counselor works with a feuding couple. The future of their relationship will be decided during the show.

At Daybreak’s Thursday meeting, clients discussed the issue affecting the couple that will appear on the TV show - how uncontrolled anger can ruin intimate relationships.

A man named Freddie said his girlfriend broke up with him after he had an outburst of rage. He was ordered to take anger-management classes by a judge because he resisted arrest when the couple were arguing.

“I had a pretty good relationship with a girl,” Freddie said. “She went bye-bye. I realized being a jerk caused it.”

While they are a steady source of clients, court-ordered patients are only part of the clientele for anger-management programs.

Businesses often require employees to get counseling after they have emotional outbursts at work, and some people sign up for classes voluntarily, Anderson said.

Munford said he treats people who have been involved in a wide range of crimes.

He has treated a man who threatened to kill a cable company customer-service worker because he was upset with his service. Munford has counseled people who have become too harsh while disciplining their children. He has worked with gang members who were caught in minor fights with rivals. And one woman was sentenced to anger-management classes for yelling at an El Camino College parking-enforcement officer who she believed was only giving out tickets to white people.

“It’s kind of a catch-all sometimes,” said Munford, who is also a county probation officer and therapist. “Anger is always there. It’s always a part of a probationer’s criminal makeup. They’re angry about something.”

Munford said anger-management counseling doesn’t necessarily change the behavior of his clients - especially those who are ordered to attend.

“It’s kind of similar to traffic school,” Munford said. “Once they complete it, they completed it. But they may get back on the road and be a bad driver.”

His clients pay a $45 registration fee and $30 per class.

Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Robert Schnider, who supervises the court’s family law division, said he believes anger-management classes rarely motivate people to change their behavior.

“I know there are people who go through it, and it’s meaningless to them,” Schnider said. “There are a lot of people who start the classes but don’t finish - 10 percent to 20percent. But then I know people whose lives are turned around by it. It depends on why you’re going and what your attitude is.”

Shanee Potter, 22, of Los Angeles, completed 14 anger-management sessions at Daybreak Counseling Service last year. She voluntarily signed up for the program after she was arrested on suspicion of stabbing her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend five times with a steak knife.

She said the class taught her ways to divert her angry thoughts and feelings.

“I just really wanted to hurt him,” Potter said. “I would think about hitting him upside the head with a frying pan. Then I would get upset when I tried to apply for a job and they denied me” because of the felony conviction for the stabbing.

“I learned that when I get upset, I just have to move on and keep trying. I try to stay busy, work out, or look for another job.”

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
http://myspace.com/angermanagementteacher
310-995-1202